Hello, first time poster here. It feels a bit odd posting this on Mumsnet, but I can’t think of anywhere else that I could ask for advice in this way. Perhaps someone else is reading this who’s been in the same place as me.
I am 36, DP 39. We’ve been together for ten years. I love him to bits and know he feels the same way about me. Neither of us have been interested in marriage or children, and we’ve just floated along happily with just a mortgage and a joint bank account.
But this year I’ve had an overwhelming urge to have a child. My DP’s child. I have never been more certain about something. I’ve obviously talked to DP about this (a lot), but even though I know he would be a wonderful father, he is adamant that he doesn’t want any children. And of course this is his absolute right. He hasn’t changed; I have.
I am devastated. My heart feels as if it’s sat in a pit at the bottom of my stomach. As indulgent as it sounds, I can’t really comprehend the future now. I want to grow old with my DP; there’s absolutely no question I would split up with him over this (and the very fact I’m pushing 37 means the chance of me starting a family with anyone else is slim to none). So I need to come to terms with remaining childless. But right now I am really struggling. I am trying so hard to keep a lid on my emotions because I don’t want DP to feel that I blame him (or worse, am trying to emotionally blackmail him into changing his mind), but it’s bubbling under. I cry when he’s not around to see me do so. I’m really anxious that if I don’t get a handle on this, my unhappiness will turn into resentment and I will destroy a relationship with a man I adore and who (usually) makes me so happy.
Any advice (or a stern talking to) welcome. I feel completely adrift at the moment.