wait for him to say he finally wants to have children or what?

[user1891]

I have been with DP for nearly 2 years. He has children and is in late fourties. I am mid-thirties. He had told me at the beginning that he would wait with having a child with me for at least 5 years to see how we get along.
We get on very well and I see myself spending the rest of my life with him. Should I just wait for it to happen or bring the subject up again?
He sees his children twice a week. I spend a lot of time with them when they are here and get on very well.
Just worried about the time passing and I am not getting any younger

Just from the thread title I thought no. If you want children, I think you need to move on from him.

Women with no DC in relationships with fathers so often think their bfs are “good fathers”, which may or may not be the case. Unless sharing custody 50% or close to it the bulk of the parenting is done by the fathers’ ex.

He can love you and want to be with you now, but not care if you never become a mother or intend to stay in a relationship with you long term. If having DC is important to you, he’s not the right partner for you and you don’t have years to wait hoping he’ll commit and ttc.

often think their bfs are “good fathers”, which may or may not be the case. Unless sharing custody 50% or close to it the bulk of the parenting is done by the fathers’ ex

Yes to this. Even when time is fairly evenly split, it is often the mothers that handle 99% of medical, dental, school, etc.

Well how old are you now ?

I had a stringing along DP, every excuse but always said he wanted children. In the end some of his criteria were in place and I hit 35 .I said now or I’m off. Romantic huh ? But it happened. I just turned 36 when DS was born, we’d been together 8 years.

I think having babies 35+ is very common now,but leaving it until 40+ is chancing it even more if you haven’t been trying. It depends on your health, luck and your egg reserve.

Wanting a baby can certainly make you believe relationship is strong ( and it might be) I don’t think you do know someone until you’ve been with them a while maybe 3 years ?

Good luck

Agree with all other posters. You are not 'putting pressure' on him to state what you really want in life. You need to have an honest conversation in which you are stating your intentions like a strong woman.

To stay with him would only mean you'd likely miss out on having children. I bet you you'd end up being happier with a guy a bit younger, but be strong and dont delay.