Has someone in work caught my partners eye.

[Hayandy73]

This is my first ever post and I'm just looking to see if I am being completely paranoid or is karma biting me on he arse.

I've just looked in my partners draw and a whole bottle of 100ml aftershave has been used in 2 weeks. If my partner smells a lot of perfume of me he will comment 'who are you trying to impress' the answer is no-one for me but I can't blame him for questioning me because we met in work and we both had other partners at the time.

Because of this it's always been a bit accusing as you can imagine but recently in my mind I can just see our own saga of the way we got together playing out all over again but with me being his ex wife.

Other stuff like the other morning he was doing overtime and went to work at 7am to get in for 8am when it takes 20 minutes to get there, it's started taking longer to get home.

I have always been laid back and couldn't imagine him ever doing anything like what he did to his ex wife (yes very niave) but he has always been incredibly accusing although I have never given him any cause for this, I realised what a horrendous thing we did and I would never ever in my lifetime do this again and I thought that he would be the same.
Am I just thinking like this because he's always been very accusing so I'm now in that mindset also or do I have cause for concern?

By the way, I'm not saying that you're bullying or picking you out as being spiteful, it was the 'karma' post that irritated me and you're certainly not the only one who says it.

Of course you're entitled to your opinion, we all are, and OW threads are like catnip.

I think the thing that stands out most is that you're normally not worried about his behaviour and suddenly you've picked up on something. It could be nothing but I tend to think gut instincts are there for a reason.

People cheat, people fuck up, life and love go on and you can't be hated forever for poor choices. Don't spend your life beating yourself up, OP, because there's no way to take it back no matter how awful you feel. Let it go.

Please ignore the self righteous ones OP. I've experienced being cheated on and it's a horrible situation. But you know that and you feel bad about it. PP are right that sometimes affairs lead to better couples than the original couple - and of course sometimes it happens again to the people involved and their relationship breaks down because of another affair.

But being an OW in the past doesn't mean you don't deserve sympathy and compassion now. We all make mistakes, we all fuck up and just because those mistakes and fuck ups are different for everyone it doesn't mean we deserve to have the shit piled up on us. It also doesn't give us the right to judge others situations as if it's our own.

Sure if OP is the person who cheated on your DH then you have the right to not offer sympathy, but you also have the ability to skip over any thread without being awful to the person.

I really hope it is nothing OP but sometimes our instincts should be listened to

Unless he has had a personality transplant, you know that he is capable of cheating, so it can't come as a total surprise. I won't repeat the cliches but they tend to be true.

I think most people are “capable” of cheating. It’s whether or not they actually do it - and as said before, the reasons for that can be complex - or they can be simple.

I do get the impression that certain posters are willing him to be having an affair - wanting it to be true. It leaves a really bad taste.