Getting married to someone who loves me but does not fancy me

[ohwell02]

We have been friends for 21 years. He visits me every few weeks or so. 2 years ago he proposed to me saying that he loved me. There has never been anything physical between us and for this reason I refused. He does not visit so much now though we are still friends.
Basically I told him last year that I wanted more physical contact
but he says he loves me like a sister.
If we married I would be afraid that he might go off with someone else.

Don't do it

Do you think he might be gay?

You don't marry your sister. How very, very odd. How old is he? Has had relationships before?

No do not marry him. This is a disaster from the very beginning.

Is he gay and wants a traditional heterosexual marriage, maybe due to pressure from an outside source? Or do you have property, money or prospects he'd have a claim on if you're married?

Whatever his motivation don't do it!

So are you a couple or just friends? Very odd set up.

Don't do it unless you want to set yourself up for a life of feeling inferior and unfulfilled. There's other men out there better suited to you, you just need to find them.

What is he looking to achieve by getting married?

Don't do it.

Why on earth would you get married?!

Why would you marry him?? Do you love him??

he loves you 'like a sister'? why on earth would he want to marry someone who he 'loved like a sister?!'

Please dont do it OP.

You aren't on the same page and that's all you need to know. His proposal is all about his needs and the marriage would be too.

Why do you want to marry him?

Has he explained why he doesn't want a sexual relationship with you?

Second to that, has he explained why he wants to marry you when he views you as being like a sister?

Can’t get keep my head around why either of you would want to be married. Avoid

What about you ? Do you love him ? Or not being nasty - it is because you are lonely? I wouldn't want to be with someone who doesn't want a physical relationship with me because they did not see me that way. He might just want a mummy to do his cooking/cleaning etc. If you do own your own home and think you will marry then definitely 're do your will saying a marriage will not change any beneficiaries and keep finances separate. He should also pay his own way as imo he sees himself as nothing more than a friendly lodger.

Jesus Christ, why would you settle for this? Does being married matter that much to you? How do you know he's not gay? Or maybe just fancies some company and a house keeper? Really, in the nicest possible way, raise your bar.

Hmmm, sounds like a great bloke. But he wants a mummy/sister/friend, not a wife. Maybe you should keep him as a close friend.

OP, I'm cringing asking this but....but...do you think he wants to marry you for you money?! Sorry it just popped in to my mind!

Is this the early 1900s?!

In short. NO!

Why do you want to marry him? Do you really think he wants to marry you? Look at it rationally - he visits every few weeks, he doesn´t want physical contact, he is visiting even less than before. Does this sound like the behaviour of someone who loves you deeply? I think it very likely he will go off with someone else should you ever marry - because his behaviour is not of a man dating the woman he wants to spend his life with.

If you don't consummate your marriage either one of you can have it annulled because it's not technically valid I think.

How do fancy being a beard then ?

I wouldn't. Unless he is George Clooney ?