A guy has asked me out on a date for the 5th time....but I can't go and I'm feeling sorry for myself!

[cupcakesmakeyouhappy]

I have been single 7 years since my exh left. He moved on pretty quickly and has been with his current gf 6.5 years.
Me, on the other hand, can't move on.
I gave up on dating a long time ago. I get lonely sometimes but I'm ok.
Pointless being on dating sites as I don't have a sitter. I came to terms with single life....
Someone I know has asked me out again. My excuse is always, I don't have time but in reality the real reason is, I don't have anyone to babysit. My youngest is 9. I won't be able to go out until she's about 15/16.
It's a long time single.....and all of a sudden I feel sorry for myself.....
Anyone else out there in the same position?

home*

I would go on a Thursday night when your ex has the kids and let your car break down or taxi break down. Cunt
Then I'd have a lunch date with him.
Then I liked the guy is post an ad on gumtree for a baby sitter for a few hours. Get a neighbour or something.

Don't let life pass you by. Your kids aren't babies any more.

Your ex is a twunt. But 13 is old enough to babysit.

I feel fortunate that my children are bigger now I'm on the dating scene again. I'd be in a similar position otherwise.

What you need is more friends in the same position as you, so that sometimes you can do them a favour too, and it's equal. Do you know any other single parents? Might be worth approaching another parent from school, for example, and asking them over for a coffee.

I'd also be uncomfortable about a 13-year-old babysitting in the evening. The law says it's up to you, but the NSPCC recommends someone age 16 or older. www.nspcc.org.uk/services-and-resources/research-and-resources/2015/home-alone-parents-leaflet/

Yes, I completely 100% agree! That he is!!
I can't change it though, just have to live with it.
In 7 years I have been stuck in traffic twice and he went bonkers! Calling and texting demanding for me to be home or he would drop them to my mother's. My dc's came home in such a panic because he had kicked up such a fuss. For ages after that my youngest would panic and day mummy please don't be late. So I don't like to be!
He is a compete waste of time!
Thanks everyone, you are right life is passing me by and up until now, I have accepted it. I couldn't leave my dc's alone on a late evening but Im thinking lunch or early eve might be ok after chatting on here.

Why even bother letting them seeing him? What good is 2 hours a week? Especially if he behaves lkke that.

It's obviously more of a duty for him and the kids won't be feel much benefit from seeing him.

cherryontopp - I completely agree! It is a chore, but my dc's want to go. I have said many of times, you don't have to go and they say 'we feel sorry for dad, if we don't'.
It's sad and one day when they're wanting to see friends more, it will fizzle out. I honestly don't think he will care!

Send him a text and ask him to meet for lunch. It's just a lunch, not a long term commitment. You might find it inspires you to get out and date more often, or you might find out that you are happiest on your own, but you won't find out if you don't try!

Just remember though that not having a man doesn't mean that life is passing you by. If you feel like the lack of childcare means that life is passing you by in all ways then I agree that you need to put things in place so that you can live your life. I do lots of things now with DD that I didn't do with miserable ex - go to museums and art galleries, take picnics go away for weekends with other friends. I'm not saying I sometimes don't wish I had a loving and supportive partner but my life's my own and I'm not wasting it.

I think that the OP is aware of the twuntishness of her ex.

The bloke obviously lies you. You have options.

1. A lunch. This is good because it's time-limited. If it's not going so well, no great loss.
2. Invite him to yours. Tell your children he is a friend you need to see about something. Talk to him in another room from where the kids are. They will be entirely uninterested in what you are doing, I bet.
3. Go on Gumtree and find a teenager. Sacrifice something if you have to in order to allow for the £18 or whatever.
4. Tell your 13 year old that you have to pop out and you will be back in about three hours, here's the number to ring if you need me. And there's £15 in it for when I get back.
5. Something else, I'm sure.

Give it a go. Might be a laugh.

Go for lunch first, then arrange sleepovers with friends if it goes well for the next time, children of that age are fairly easy to send off to stay with their friends as long as you return the favour.