Ex and the fb account

[southernharp]

My ex had always been absolutely anti fb. Recently though the kids told me that he had set up a basic account so he can follow a fb group. I am already in the group and I can see him there. No picture or anything. The account entirely private. I know he always uses the same password and so I had a nose and tried to log on as him, really to check he isn't posting shit about me. When I logged on, it took me to a different account - a name that isn't his and no picture, but with his birth date. Nothing there though. What could the point of that be? Is he up to something? He is a sly twat and so I am highly suspicious

How is this any different to gaining access to the phone of a cheating spouse, which is so often advocated on here?

I don't agree with that either.

Don’t lower yourself to his conniving levels op.
I take it you’ve changed your passwords on everything now?
And checked all your own privacy settings?

Fudging. This isn't mindless digging. Only yesterday he made some horrible threats around the kids. I want to be prepared. Of course.

Make a note if everything that gets said and dates etc etc.
What sort of threats?
Physical?financial?

Are you currently going through the divorce proceedings?

Fudging. Financial and abducting the kids.

Can't divorce yet. Not enough time has passed.

He probably knows you'd try to hack it and has outsmarted you by making a fake fake account. So you can't get in to the real account.

You have been out sly-ed.

And another

SOrry - posted too soon. And another thing, if he is as sneaky as me (and I am pretty sneaky) he'd have marked that account as "deactivated". To teactivate you just log back in with no outward sign you are logging in to a dead account and FB just brings it back. So if he had marked it as deactivated, your logging back in has reactivated it and he knows you've done it by seeing it as an active account.

Oops, indeed.

The accounts don't even need to be friends either. He probably just searches on the fake name every morning and thinks "ah, she hasn't logged in as me yet"

Well maybe. But I am questioning his tech abilities here. He doesn't know what FaceTime or podcasts are. But if you're right, I don't especially care. I just want to stop the sneaky where it harms me.

If the account you got into is not the same name as the group he has two accounts. The one you logged into he probably created with the email and password combo he always uses to see if you would log into it. Expect him to be tracking it and it go apeshit at you.

I imagine the account in his real name uses an entirely new email address and password. That's the first thing I'd do after an acrimonious split. Change all my passwords and my email address to prevent my ex hacking my accounts.

It's not even a hard thing to do, it's just something I'd do if I had an ex who was likely to log in to my accounts. It's insurance. It's probably harder (but not much) to do the email thing you said.

I think you should probably stop messing about in his FB now though.

Nothing there anyway. And really don't care what he does if he would just let me get on with my own thing without buggering stuff up for me.

southern but everything you're saying about him sounds like he's hell bent on always being on the upper hand. So why would you play silly games like logging into their Facebook with a person like that.

You say forewarned will help. But will it? He won't have wrote it on that Facebook what his next steps are, it will just make you ill second guessing his steps. You will never predict his next moves so don't try too.

Carry on with your life and remain squeaky clean, let him do all his digging because there will be nothing he can use against you.

Just a heads up when you sign into your account on a different device it sends you an email stating so and where about you logged in so he may know you have done this.

I could never imagine even going on my own dhs account i wouldnt see the point :/

Sorry OP but what you've done is just as bad as what he's done. You think that because he's done worse i.e secret long haul holiday with OW, breaking into your house etc, excuses you from doing something that is basically the same thing and then you keep trying to justify yourself when someone calls you out on it.

Its his choice to create a FB account and it certainly has nothing to do with you. You are no longer together and you had absolutely no right logging into it.

Like others have said, if he is threatening you, log each incident, change passwords, formally report it etc. But don't play silly little games like that.

It doesn't really matter if there's nothing there. The very fact the account has been reactivated by someone (who isn't him) logging in to it, is the trap. If that's what he's done. And as Skye says there is now the additional info of where it was logged in to. So for your own sake really, leave shit alone 😂

Can't divorce yet. Not enough time has passed.

Not if you divorce for unreasonable behaviour.

Do you have a solicitor?
If not I would get one ASAP op and tell them about the threats and financial issues etc etc.
They will then have a record and still step away from the snooping.
I know you say your doing it to try and get ahead of what he is doing but your playing right into his hands right now.
Can you elaborate more on the situation at all?
How long were you married?
What are you classing as financial abuse?
Is there a safeguarding issue where your dc are concerned?
How long ago did you seperate?
Just trying to get a better idea of your situation op.

It sounds like your still really raw hence why the checking him out.

Southern I meant as in chuckle! My first h was a sly twat and you definitely need to put sly him!

OP I really feel for what you've obviously gone through with your H but you're losing your moral highground here and gaining nothing.
I hope you have some good support around you and some solid legal advice - not least as it sounds like you have very clear grounds for divorce on the grounds of Unreasonable Behaviour (which you could start immediately) and yet are waiting (to do it on the grounds of separation I assume?).

Divorce him for unreasonable behaviour or adultery (if you haven't lived with him since the affair/didn't stay with him for over 6 months after the affair).

sorry OP - it sounds as if you are stalking him a little - i mean, why on earth would you want to hack into someone's fcebook account - even dickheads have some right to privacy. He probably did that so he would know when you logged in and now had a record of you hacking into his account - who know what he will use that information for, but you cant undo it now so just leave it.

Get a lawyer and just divorce him on unreasonable grounds - then draw a line under him and move on.