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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

Today only - should I do it?!!!!!!!!!! Votes please!!

46 replies

kipperthedog · 11/04/2007 13:49

OK am going to try and keep this short! Seperating from dh at the moment but have been attracted to another guy for nearly a year. I don't know much about this other guy other than his profession and that he's really nice! I haven't been attracted to anyone like this for years. Anyhow, this other guy comes and goes from the area and I have found out that he's back just for today. I really want to ask him out but his profession makes it awkward and also have a lot of stuff to go through with dh before I'm free to have any kind of relationship. What I really want is to get to know him but think I would feel like a complete twat phoning up and asking him. However if I don't do it, I have absolutely no idea when/if I'll see him again and will be wondering what if??
Please help me make up my mind what to do!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

OP posts:
OttersPool · 11/04/2007 13:50

is he the doctor?

suzywong · 11/04/2007 13:51

don't get to know him and have a relationship

just shag him

far too early to get into another serious relationship

enjoy yourself

Wotzsaname · 11/04/2007 13:51

You have his number?

Original poster
kipperthedog · 11/04/2007 13:52

Only work number

OP posts:
mytwopenceworth · 11/04/2007 13:52

why does his profession make it awkward?

Carmenere · 11/04/2007 13:52

It is the doctor isn't it?

Original poster
kipperthedog · 11/04/2007 13:53

Oh blardy hell, I've been sussed straight away!!. Was trying to keep this low key after dh was spying on me here!!

OP posts:
Carmenere · 11/04/2007 13:53

SW has a point, I mean we women tend to think in terms of a relationship before phone numbers have been exchanged. He may not even be good in bed!

Sobernow · 11/04/2007 13:54

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

fireflyfairy2 · 11/04/2007 13:55

Have you any idea if the feeling is mutual?

themoon66 · 11/04/2007 13:55

If he comes and goes from the area, then he'll be round again when you are feeling a bit more sure of things?

Mum2FunkyDude · 11/04/2007 13:56

Phone him and give him your number and say he must phone you next time his in town, that way you don't look desperate and you both have an opt out.

Wotzsaname · 11/04/2007 13:56

I recommend you should have at least one date in the summer to see if he wears socks with his sandals. Big no no for me!

Original poster
kipperthedog · 11/04/2007 13:56

Not really FF2, I do get that kind of impression but very hard to say, could just be my wishful thinking!!

OP posts:
fireflyfairy2 · 11/04/2007 13:57

If you call him, will he know who you are?

I would advise waiting for a while until you & dh are seperated fully before you make any decisions

Original poster
kipperthedog · 11/04/2007 13:58

Oh blimey, I'm not sure. He might be around again but then I think what if he's not. I am worried I could make a complete arse of myself as I wouldn't know what to say and he also prob has no idea of my feelings!

OP posts:
Original poster
kipperthedog · 11/04/2007 13:59

lol WOTZ, that would be a def turn off!!

OP posts:
Original poster
kipperthedog · 11/04/2007 14:01

FF2 yes he would know who I am, but what to say. I was thinking something along the lines of telling him I really like him and would he like to meet up for coffee sometime? Bugger it sounds so corny when I write it down, lol

OP posts:
harrisey · 11/04/2007 14:04

My dh is a locum GP who comes and goes from a couple of areas, he's in one of them right now so as long as its not him I dont mind what you do
Though I think I would wait until I was freer than you seem to be at the moment. Dont get something messed up when it could be better when your life is more uncomplicated. My Gran always said 'what's for you wont go by you'.

Carmenere · 11/04/2007 14:06

I agree with mum2funkydude. That is the most dignfied way.

fireflyfairy2 · 11/04/2007 14:07

OOh do you know he is single?

I have to be honest & say it sounds a bit desperate

I'd leave it, honestly.

Original poster
kipperthedog · 11/04/2007 14:07

H I hope not!!! No ring on said blokes finger but I'm told that's not uncommon!

OP posts:
harrisey · 11/04/2007 14:11

My dh has put on so much weight since we got married (but he was a bit skinny back then!) that he cant get his ring off But you could really make a fool of yourself if he is in a relationship or married, maybe you could do some gentle finding out first.
Also being with a doctor is a PITA a lot of the time. They talk about gory things at teatime and work weird hours. But they do also earn a lot!

Original poster
kipperthedog · 11/04/2007 14:14

lol H, poor dh! Sadly have no way of finding out relationship status although from what I've seen I would say he is single but couldn't be sure. I just thought I have nothing to lose (apart from a bit of embarassment!) and if I don't ask I'll never know. However FF", I appreciate your honesty and I think it may look a tad desperate too.

OP posts:
LoveMyGirls · 11/04/2007 14:20

I would phone say you heard he was in the area today and thought it wud b nice to phone n say hello see where the conversation takes you, deffo try to get his personal email or phone number or give him yours and then leave him to come back to you.

My sister met a guy the other day who she had seen in the pub about a month ago, she gave her phone number to the landlady (as shes her friend but had lost her number) and he picked it up (by drunken mistake so he claims) and he met up with her in the same pub the other day they got chatting he confessed he's been carrying her number around but didnt call her because she hadnt given him her number iyswim and they kissed!!

Just do it, live for today - if he blanks you or whatever you don't have to see him ever again!