Out of the blue

[JaffaCakesForBreakfast]

I’ve been with my partner for 10 years and over the years he’s regularly referred to me as “my intended” and referred to us getting married. The other night we were watching tv and there was a proposal scene, so I half jokingly asked when we would get married. He said, never. I replied that he had always said we would and he replied that I was a gold digger and that I (me) don’t really believe in the principles of marriage because of my way of life after my first marriage broke down. (I had a ons which I told him about as we had been friends before getting together)
I feel devastated that he sees me like this and has never mentioned it before and I can’t stop crying. I want to leave him but I don’t know if I’m strong enough.

Oh and he said today that my behaviour the other night (crying) meant that it was even lower on his list of priorities now.

Well he sounds delightful! What a horrible man. Why on earth are you with him?

He sounds like a real catch

If he is wealthy I can understand not wanting to get married but he was bloody horrible about it.

Why are you with him? he sounds quite horrid from your post.

Start gathering the strength to leave him he's a prick .... and I don't often refer to men as that. You deserve so much more.
If you asked him about his past history how many ons is he likely to have had?

What a cock.

I don't think there would be any coming back from that tbh. I'm sorry man

Lower on his list of prioties..... Just lovely.....

What a cunt.

I'd tell him to fuck off right not and not come back.

God almighty I can't get over how many people treat their partners like this. I really can't.

You deserve better and I don't even know you.

He doesn't have any respect for you and that's actually a really cruel and vile way to behave. Walk away with your head held high.

What a shit. Well at least you now know and can move on with the rest of your life, leaving him well and truly behind. He sounds like a future faker - all talk, no action?

"Lower on his list of priorities"

Tell him as he obviously made clear what a disgusting human being he is he is off your list altogether and boot him.

If he thinks you're such a gold digger and terrible why is he happy to be with you?! It sounds like he's trying to knock all your confidence out of you op.
Don't waste anymore time than you can afford on him.

I just wish I could stop crying!

Of course you're upset. It was something you hoped for and that hope has been dashed without any discussion or politeness. So dont worry about crying and use his shirtsleeves as a handkerchief!

Omg. What a cunt. Get him out to fuck. What a nasty way to tell you that! Please don't stay with him after this. You are worth way more!!

Do you have children with him?

I have a marriage-resisting DP too but he would never speak to me like this! If he did it would be over.

Right, finish your cry. Dry your eyes and wash your face, then get angry.
No way should he treat you like this, what a thoughtless piece of shite.
Judging you for a ons before he met you? Well at least you now know where you stand.
You can do better than this, op.

Omg, what a stupid fucking twat. What a horrible thing to say to you.

How is he reacting now you're just crying? I hope you're going to leave. Or tell him to fuck off.

No children. I’m going to get legal advice re the house. He’s being “pleasant” right now.

OP...you know he's a twunt, don't you?

What would you say to one of us who posted this?

Ten years you've been waiting for him to propose! and now he says he's never going to.

There's another thread on here where the op's partner made out he was going to propose by taking her ring shopping all the time. When she realised he was never actually going to buy a ring, she dumped him and now he miraculously wants to marry her after all.

Honestly he doesn't deserve you. Tell him where to go. (Beware, he won't like it.)

Op it's ok to be upset! What not ok is for him to belittle you and your feelings. He's been incredably disrespectful.

He sounds awful. Please leave him while you can.

Is house in joint names?

I had one like that. We'd been living together for years and years. I'd waited months and months to go to a very special event and when he we got there he'd ordered bubbly and got special seats as a surprise. Nothing happened. I jokingly said 'I thought for one minute there you were going to propose' - his answer was 'I do want to get married - just not to you'.

I moved out a week later. He was an utter cunt for doing that. Ruining something I'd been so excited about too, he was just plain nasty.

Sounds like he's trying to push your buttons. He knows what will hurt. Don't give him the pleasure.

He's a knob, ask him what's changed and then go clean the toilet with his toothbrush.

He's a knob, ask him what's changed and then go clean the toilet with his toothbrush.