Out of the blue

[JaffaCakesForBreakfast]

I’ve been with my partner for 10 years and over the years he’s regularly referred to me as “my intended” and referred to us getting married. The other night we were watching tv and there was a proposal scene, so I half jokingly asked when we would get married. He said, never. I replied that he had always said we would and he replied that I was a gold digger and that I (me) don’t really believe in the principles of marriage because of my way of life after my first marriage broke down. (I had a ons which I told him about as we had been friends before getting together)
I feel devastated that he sees me like this and has never mentioned it before and I can’t stop crying. I want to leave him but I don’t know if I’m strong enough.

He's a knob, ask him what's changed and then go clean the toilet with his toothbrush.

Sorry for multiple post no idea what happened!

What an absolute wanker

You deserve so much better.

It's completely understandable that you're upset; let the tears flow and use them to propel you forward in getting rid of him.

Oh, OP - sorry wasted 10 years of your life with this wanker. Please leave before it turns into another 10.

You need to leave him, you can't come back from that. He's told you what he really thinks of you and if you try to keep plodding on, you'll end up hating yourself. Get out now and give yourself a chance of future happiness.

Oh my god, he's just a catch isn't he?(not)

Give yourself the time and space to cry but then dry your tears, big girls pants on and find your anger.

Come back and read this thread to hear the MN brigade giving you the strength to tell him to get to fuck. Remember he said:

You're a gold digger.

He's judging you for a one night stand 10 years ago before you met him.

You being upset and crying has made him even more determined to place you lower down his list of priorities.

Make a plan to get on with your life away from him. Good luck

I am SHOCKED at his behaviour towards you. Implying you would get married then calling you a gold digger, then belittling you for having a ONS before you got together, then ignoring your distress and using it against you!

He is unbelievably cruel.

You may have “wasted” ten years on him but he does not deserve another hour of your life spent/wasted on him now!

He has shown you contempt.

He has judged you in a very misogynistic way for having a ONS (and basically in a roundabout way said that you are not marriage material because of your loose morals )

He has not just dismissed your feelings but criticised you for having any.

Pure and utter nastiness. It sounds like he doesn’t even like you, never mind respect you

Run, leave him behind and start a new life for yourself!

OP, in the nicest possible sense, was it really 'out of the blue'? I can't believe that he would be so utterly nasty and rude without there ever being some glimpse of it before. Absolutely, leave him behind!

Go ahead and have a good cry and let the hurt begin to wash out of your system. This is who he is and there isn’t a parallel universe where he’s different. You can’t go back in time and have the person who he was pretendingto be, back again.

Time to get your ducks in a row.

Time to move out and move on.
You deserve better than this p.o.s!
You will be so better off without the pig in your life!