Sick of DP's job. Leaves DP tired, stressed ill but DP gets a buzz out of it and is well paid. I apparently cannot understand how much it takes out of DP etc (despite being with ex in same field, but different role, for >15 years). DP has struggled to get thru this week, nearly bailed on a social plan on Tues as was feeling run down but then came anyway (we left early as DP was tired) and has been to bed by 9 every other night this week. Plans we had for tonight have been abandoned as DP texted to cancel this a.m and said "I'd happily just crawl into a hole and die after the week I've had" and told me about feeling ill and shattered... We don't live together and DP is wanting me to go round this eve.... I'm dreading it, DP will have hit the bottle as soon as getting in and will once again get drunk and stressed (ranty, poss teary/emotional) about work, will repeat how shattering it is but refuse to go up to bed unless I go too.... I'm being a selfish cow but I don't want to go to bed at 9 or 10pm on a Friday night or another heavy night of hearing the job woes (the discussions have been circular for 2 years) and will stay up on my account. If I say "I'll stay home, you rest" or even suggest I go up to bed later or go home after a bit there'll be and upset about feeling abandoned at a low ebb. I'll be there wishing I was in own house enjoying peace while my DCs are at the exes for the weekend (he only has them eow so quiet house a rare luxury) . Offered support in terms of helping to get on top of chores DP says slipped because of work stress this week, pick up a, shop and/or make and take food but all those offers been refused. I feel bad for being selfish and unempathetic and just wanting a night in solo. Am I being a complete cow, I just find DP so gloomy after a week at work and I'm not a big drinker.so the drunkenness I find hard to deal with too.. .. How do I even raise this stuff?