Who was in the wrong here - me or dh?

[Borris]

I got home tonight and could hear dd crying from outside. When I got in dh was sat on the sofa and dd on a chair crying and snotty with red eyes. Really distressed.

She was meant to be learning her 3x table. Dh was telling her that her attitude to homework was awful and that she would look stupid in front of her friends.

When she saw me she begged me to help her. Initially I kept out the way, but after 10 mins she was still crying.

I went down and started going through the times table chanting and then mixing it up. She was trying really hard.

She stromed out saying I'd taken over. He then shouted he was going out and would come back when dd was in bed as he couldn't be in the same room as her and me.

Should I have left them to it? Or was I right to help/take over.

That's not good advice to someone worried about their partner's abusive behaviour towards their child.

I think IIWY I would be speaking to school and SS for advice. What he is doing is absolutely classed as emotional abuse. And I'm sure your dd's teacher wouldn't be too impressed to hear her father is dismissing their advice and making her cry over times tables. If you have any worries that he might be awarded residency, you need to get this on record. Perhaps call the NSPCC as well.

Is there any chance of you adjusting your work hours? Your poor dd. She must dread those afternoons with him. Can she go to after-school club instead, as a stop-gap measure?

Why would most people not think he’s abusive? On another thread you’ve already said one woman approached you about it as she saw how abusive he was to you.

You’re choosing to stay and make excuses. You haven’t even sought legal advice or spoken to women’s aid when you said you would last time. You’re now hiding in your room listening to him abusIng your kids and still making excuses and doing nothing.

Choosing to stay is your decision, but do accept there will be significant consequences, from the impacts it has on your kids, to what kind of adults they grow up to be and their subsequent, and probably no contact, relationship with you.

It’s one thing to chose to stay in an abusive relationship yourself, it’s totally different when you put your own children through it. That’s abhorrant.

The excuses of he might get primary care is just that. Because you have no idea, you’ve done nothing to even find out, you just keep paying for him to be there with you all.

Wow some of the replies on here are harsh. 6 year olds can be extremely manipulative and can turn the tears on when they’re not getting what they want. Yes they can be drama queens when they can’t be bothered with their homework. Worst thing to do is to pander to it. Doesn’t sound like he called her stupid either. There’s a big difference from calling a child stupid and saying you don’t want to look stupid. I don’t think the husband behaved well in this scenario but some of the posters on here would have him hanged.

Looney tune, have your children got any self-esteem left? Or 100% crushed with parental attitude of that sort?

@JoJoSM2 That’s one hell of an assumption to make. I have 2 children and they’re both very confident and well rounded girls. I’ve never given in to manipulation or tantrums doesn’t deplete their self esteem not in the slightest.