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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

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Original poster

Is this weird behaviour?

64 replies

Blondehairblackroots · 08/10/2017 18:59

My newish dp came downstairs and said to me out of the blue ( he has just moved in ) I just found a used condom under the bed that was not his
My bedroom is not immaculate but there is no way there was a used condom there , plus I hadn't had a partner anyway .
I said no way and he just said I wanted to see what u would say , and kinda smirked
I think it is odd behaviour but would like some views

OP posts:

sirbedevere · 08/10/2017 20:32

God this reminds me of a late teenage ex who quizzed me about what a bloke standing at the bar next to me head said to me. Nobody had said anything to me. He wouldn't let it go until I told him 'the truth'. In the end I had to make something up. It did not end well!!!

Thank goodness you're sensible to get him out. No good will come of this - it's only the start of a steep and slippery slope.

CotedePablo · 08/10/2017 20:35

Show him the door and change the locks.

1Violetcream · 08/10/2017 20:36

Not good!

fairyofallthings · 08/10/2017 20:37

LTB.

MadMags · 08/10/2017 20:38

How long are you with him, OP? I wouldn't be surprised if this has all moved very quickly.

Original poster

Blondehairblackroots · 08/10/2017 20:40

I feel stupid for not ' seeing' this for what it is
GEtting my head round it

OP posts:

yawning801 · 08/10/2017 20:40

Bin him, OP.

Doublemint · 08/10/2017 20:41

It's snuck up on you OP but put it all together and he's a controlling freak.
Get rid.

YourWinter · 08/10/2017 20:44

This is really disturbing and not in any way normal behaviour. It will not get better, he will not change - they never do, they can't. Get out of this relationship OP, it's not ok to accept this. His problems may be complex but they're for him to sort out without making you feel like this.

rainbowlou · 08/10/2017 21:01

Oh god he sounds like my ex, I was terrified of him within weeks...he started like this and it will get worse, please get him to leave, change the locks and look after yourself x

Original poster

Blondehairblackroots · 08/10/2017 21:04

Thank you everyone who has replied , it has really helped me see this for what it is .

OP posts:

Sugarpiehoneyeye · 08/10/2017 21:06

You are far from stupid, but you are lucky, we can see, what you can't.
Most of us have been there, but didn't, or couldn't reach out.
This has to end, be kind to yourself, don't listen to any drivel. 🌺

ArcheryAnnie · 08/10/2017 22:26

Blondehair you aren't stupid at all. It's really, really difficult to see from the inside. It's only when I imagined one of my friends describing my life with my ex as if it was their own that I realised how horrified I'd be to hear it. I didn't think I'd stand for any crap at all in a relationship, and lo and behold I was nearly drowning before I escaped.

yetmorecrap · 09/10/2017 19:28

Blondehair, you are not stupid, just probably one of lifes nice people . I lived with someone for a few years who was quite the charmer when we met, fun, witty, looked after me, next thing after about 6 months he always wanted to 'pick me up', check where I was, etc, etc. It didnt end well.

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