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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

concerned about bloke daughter has seen on dating site.

29 replies

lolaflores · 03/10/2017 12:36

NOw, stop me if you think I am being a suffocating mum but my DD1 24 showed me a pic and some details about a man she id in contact with on an internet dating site.
he sent a pic of himself (apparently the only one he had to hand??) and it shows him in an armed police officers outfit, complete with semi automatic rifle! And his name on his stab vest thing.
My first thoughts were...are armed police allowed to do that in terms of safety?
He is 26 and jis in training.
Is this a red flag for a fantasist type?
Struck me as odd
I gave her my honest opinion which was that my instinct was saying give it a swerve and she apeared to take it in though cant be guaranteed she won't meet for drinks or so.
I am thinking Apple Tree yard with Emily Watson and Ben Chaplin.
Or am I a cynical old cow?
if anyone can answer the question about whether an armed -police person would send a pic of themselves in full kit, I think my mind would be slightly less cagey about this.
My thanks in advance

OP posts:
DanielCraigsUnderpants · 03/10/2017 12:56

I dont know that I'd assume he was a fantasist. You said it was a uniform with his name on. So you could probably check out his credentials with little difficulty. That's quite a dedication to the fantasy if he is.

My reaction would be, if he is in training he is probably just showing off "look at how tough i am" maybe. I wouldn't be impressed by it because it seems a bit sad and try hard.

Would someone put a picture of themselves out there in full kit - yes and they do. On social media and to their friends on messages. I know many who have. Is it advised or encouraged by the military or police - no.

Aridane · 03/10/2017 13:00

was the website the uniform.com dating website Grin ? There it's mandatory!

Huskylover1 · 03/10/2017 13:04

Yes, someone would send a pic like this....but...I have never seen a name on Uniform. Collar number yes. Name no.

lolaflores · 03/10/2017 13:05

Right. So not that unusual to do this and perhaps what made me a bit iffy was that it does seem a bit "look at me and me rifle". he is still a bit young at 26 so the showy off bit is immaturity then.

Ariadne hand on heart I don't know if it was a uniform site and was not aware such things existed. Seems I have my world view expanded then.

OP posts:
lolaflores · 03/10/2017 13:06

Husky yep. his name Constable on the vest. No collar number. Where do they put those these days anway now that you mention it.

OP posts:
27Feb · 03/10/2017 13:10

Could be a morale patch - military have them with names on. Don't know about police. Military morale patches have all sorts of stuff on them.

NoCryLilSoftSoft · 03/10/2017 13:13

My sister recently did some work as an extra on a to show and her costume was exactly as you have described this guy. She sent me a photo of herself all dressed up on set.

Changedname3456 · 03/10/2017 13:19

Any other patches on the body armour or his shoulders? I'm pretty sure they have to display their Police number - the name is sometimes also with that, but most often just the number - and I would have thought it would be surname only anyway, not "constable" so and so.

It may be different if he's only training, although I think you have to have served a couple of years on the beat before they give you a chance to try for specialities like dogs, horses, firearms etc, which would mean he'd have a number.

I've known a couple of firearms officers (friends of a friend) and they've always been really cagey about talking about it. In fact, they generally won't even volunteer the fact that they're serving in the Police, because they know they're likely to get grief about it

Ladyformation · 03/10/2017 13:41

Bit harsh to accuse the poor guy of showing off - it's online dating, everyone presents their best side and tries to stand out!

lolaflores · 03/10/2017 14:19

Changednames that was my perception of fire arms officers. I thought they were not allowed to be even identified in the press.
The other patches seemed to be related to Met. I zoomed the pic but the pic quality got poor. I couldn't see a number just his name under the Met logo.
Lady agree about standing out but in your full FAO gear! Looked OTT and wrong really.
He is 26 and it struck me that this might be a bit young to be taken up for Firearms training.
i am wary of blokes carrying guns and putting pics of themselves up online...even if it is their job..

OP posts:
Logans · 03/10/2017 14:26

OP if you post a photo having obscured his head I'm sure a police uniform expert will come along!

lolaflores · 03/10/2017 14:37

Not sure if I can get hold of the pic. On DD's phone and not sure which site she found it on. "logans"
Let me see if I can but not promisiong anything.
Not being shadey just in case DD tells me to get stuffed.

OP posts:
Santawontbelong · 03/10/2017 14:40

Actually just been in very similar circumstances!!
Dd 28 on pof a man similar description. No gun though but talks of army policing etc.
Dd just been to stay at his barracks! He was genuine.
But I feel your anxiety, gets no easier once they over 18 does it??

lolaflores · 03/10/2017 14:48

Santa it really doesn't. She hasn't had the best most recent relationship and I think the internet thing is such a hit and miss buisness. There are so many stories (scare the poop out of myself in the dark wee hours) and its bothers me that there are some proper odd bods out there,
Even at 24, she thinks she knows it etc. but all I can see are thinly veiled threats...

OP posts:
SparklyMagpie · 03/10/2017 14:50

Id definitely be having a sneaky look into it. See if you can get the pic OP Grin

TheWildRumpyPumpus · 03/10/2017 14:54

If I saw a policeman’s outfit with ‘Constable’ on it I wouldn’t presume it was his surname!

lolaflores · 03/10/2017 14:59

I don't think I have seen a police man with name and rank on a stab vest. Will have a rummage for the pic but not promising anything.

OP posts:
lolaflores · 03/10/2017 15:01

I've messaged her re. photo saying I want to check if he is legit. If not, then he is a bit of a worry. Impersonating a police officer for example? Carrying a weapon that might be fake but like what the F do I know about it.
mmmm....

OP posts:
BlackPeppercorn · 03/10/2017 15:41

But they don't have 'Constable' in full?
Shouldn't it be "PC 54321 Smith" if anything?
Although I have a feeling there is no name or rank showing on a firearms operational uniform, only a number.

lolaflores · 03/10/2017 15:44

Said constable ***, but I presumed that might be because he is in training.
It all felt sort of a bit off.

OP posts:
bettytaghetti · 03/10/2017 15:51

I'm sure there was a thread a couple of days ago where a poster said that in their police training they are told never to post online photos of their uniform that can be identifying for security purposes. Sounds a bit dodgy to me!

Beentherelefthimgotthetshirt · 03/10/2017 16:05

I think it's quite common for scammers in the third world to use a pic of a dashing man in uniform (not them) to reel someone in. Just make sure her twat radar's on and he doesn't start needing money any time soon. If you google "armed police photo" and select images there seem to be plenty to choose from.

lolaflores · 03/10/2017 16:11

Tried to get her to post the pic but she advised me I am a weirdo who is over thinking this...bettytaghetti this makes total sense to me.
She will listen maybe but say nothing. To some extent she trusts my instincts but only time will tell.
I've told her so thats really all.
Beenthere, i will keep a close eye on developments such as she informs me about.
Bloody kids

OP posts:
Blokesworlduk · 03/10/2017 16:27

She is 24 so I would try and take a back seat.

Ethereall · 03/10/2017 16:49

My daughter is a police officer. They are not allowed to advertise anywhere on social media that they are officers mainly because they can become targets. They are also advised never to wear their uniform outside of work. It is highly unlikely this man is a genuine officer of the law.

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