Debt collectors

[firsttimemum97]

I've been with s/o for 19 months, and we've both struggled financially. Now I'm 8 months pregnant and we have just settled into our house (renting) and it's going smoothly. Well, I answered the door this morning to a well presented guy who asked whether s/o was around to which I said no because he was in bed after a long shift. When s/o woke up I asked him about the 'urgent' letter to which he replied it was just debt collectors. He left for work at half 5 and I called my mum who told me to find out what it said, so I opened it. Apparently they are coming back tomorrow to take stuff from the house which I have tried so hard to build up from nothing. He doesn't know I've opened it but I feel so upset. I can't decide whether to be angry or to help him. What would you do in this situation?

Go back to your mum. This guy will ruin your life!

I had my first midwife appointment today which they asked if I had any mental health issues or suffered domestic violence but because he wouldn't leave I couldn't tell my midwife.

Your midwife asked him to leave and he refused? What did the midwife do next?

We specifically pushed local midwives to develop a proper policy re DV.

RCM sees it as a midwifery duty to identify DV and to provide support.

Many midwives report feeling unsure about how to spot DV, talk about DV and about what to do so I can believe the midwife wasn’t very good re him not leaving.

What we were asking the service to do was train midwives in the new government definition of DV and the fact pregnancy is a time which DV risk increases, to ask sensitively ‘is the baby’s father supportive?’ Etc, to not ask in front of partners, to question privately if a woman is always accompanied, to consider using excuses re privacy for examination as a way of getting women on their own, to consider making an extra appointment privately, to put WA phone numbers on leaflets and stickers in the women’s toilets in venues etc

@Offred Why does DV risk increase during pregnancy?

Sorry before, hadn't read the other thread.

Yes go home to your mum now, but when things have settled down make sure any bills for the time you've loved there are up to date

Glad your mum is coming to help. Don't tell him if you know he will move his stuff.

Just protect yourself and your belongings and leave him to deal with it.

Splendid - because the woman’s ties to the abuser are greater and she is more vulnerable. Marriage is also associated with increased risk, as is ill health etc.

Why does DV risk increase during pregnancy?

Probably because women are physically and emotionally more vulnerable and also have a pressing reason (or think they do) to "work it out". They see the opportunity for more power and they grab it, basically.

Ignoring the fact hes lied and not told you about it. Practical advive. They can't take extra sofas beds,fridges, freezer, washing machines or other needs they can take tv games consoles things that are classed as luxuries. An easy way around it if you know thet are coming is to remove or hide anything of value thats not an essential and let them look around if they don't think they can get the debt via auction from your goods they will send the debt back to who it was originally with as a non recoverable debt then.you can offer a lower repayment schedule then the debt collectores would of accepted. This is the last minute option cotizen advice gave me after i had one force his way inside by pushing past me. Plus if theyre aggresive in anyway ring the police they cant enforce 90% of debt as theyre civil matters. Some they can but itz wirth checking

Offred You keep giving the OP and everyone else reading the wrong information! Bailiffs with a writ of control to seize goods can only enter a residential property if they can enter peacefully. That is, through an unlocked door or window. If you open the door and then go back into the house without locking it, they can follow you in. They aren't supposed to put their foot in the door to stop you closing the door, but I'm sure that practice is still rife. Once they've come in the first time and obtained walking possession of goods then they can return and force entry at a later date.

The point of stopping them getting into the house is that it makes negotiating a manageable payment with them easier, especially if valuable or sentimental things in the house belong to someone other than the debtor.

I wouldn't have thought HCEA would announce their arrival on a specific date. They usually try to have the element of surprise. Otherwise people would just hide their valuables beforehand.

If the debt is in his name (which it sounds like it is because they only asked for him), they can only take his things so if anything belongs to you, just tell them it's yours. It doesn't really sound like high court enforcement agents though because they wouldn't usually just leave if the person isn't there, they'd have told you to call him and would've explained that they had a legal right to take stuff. They'd also have explained that they'd be adding a sum to the debt for having come out yesterday (which is why they'd have given him a chance to come to the property).

Either way, if it's not your debt DO NOT PAY IT. You'll never get that money back. I also think you seriously need to consider breaking things off with this guy. As others have said, this will happen again and again and you will be left penniless. Anyone who refuses to pay bills, runs up debt, spends your money, is that blasé about debt collectors, never told you about the debt and (it sounds like this to me) makes you scared to address any of this with him, is not a catch. It's abuse waiting to happen. If you leave now, you might even get away with no repercussions at all if the debt is currently only in his name. Even if it's a shared debt, you minimise your liabilities if you leave now.

At your age you can still bounce back and treat it as a life lesson. Don't get tied to this waste of space.

I've just RTFT - you definitely need to leave him. There's clearly more than just financial abuse going on here so get out whilst you still can.

Angelf1sh You have to prove ownership of any items which you claim don't belong to the debtor. Otherwise everyone would try that trick, don't you think? How many people keep every receipt and every bank and credit card statement? Hardly any, probably, so proving ownership for many things after letting bailiffs in is often difficult.

Charleston that’s not exactly right TBH;

57. Enforcement agents should not seek to gain peaceable entry to premises under false pretences; for example asking to use the toilet, or to use the telephone. They should be clear as to why they are seeking entry to the premises. 58. Enforcement agents should only enter premises as part of the enforcement process. 59. Enforcement agents must only use a door or usual means of entry to enter premises. 60. A power to enter premises by force exists for the execution of High Court and County Court debts at business premises or at any premises where an enforcement agent is enforcing criminal penalties. This power should only be used to the extent that it is reasonably required and only after the debtor has been warned that the power exists and the consequences of a wilful refusal to co-operate. 61. A power to re-enter premises by force applies to both residential and business premises where a controlled goods agreement is in place and the goods remain on the premises but the debtor has failed to comply with the repayment terms of the controlled goods agreement. This power should only be used to the extent that it is reasonably required and only after the debtor has been given notice of the enforcement agent’s intention to re-enter.

I’ve just had sheriffs (Scottish equivalent) at the door for a 12 yo Council tax debt that I had given XH the money to pay clearly he didn’t bother much like the other £20k he ran up and I had to pay it.

OP I think going back to your mum’s and having a frank discussion with your MW is the best way forward. You and your baby are the priority now and if he won’t step up then you have to go.

Ugh the bold was meant to be crossed out.

Which bit of what I said was wrong Offred? The bit where I mentioned using a window? Okay. I can accept being wrong. However, when they are happy to put their foot in the door to stop closure even when they know a TV camera is rolling I am not sure some bailiffs will let that small matter trouble them. After all, for a successful complaint you would need to be able to prove that they used a window rather than an open door.

The important thing is that the OP knows she doesn't have to let the bailiffs in as you were implying, and the reasons why it is a good idea to keep them out. You should have googled and posted that excerpt earlier instead of repeatedly confusing the situation.

I didn’t imply she had to let the bailiffs in

It’s the bit where you said they can’t break in. They can use lawful force to break in if they have been let in before. I don’t know whether the op let them in before...

Anyway that’s not the main issue...

The main issue is that the op desperately needs to leave this horrible abusive waster.

If a bailiff is enforcing a warrant from the magistrates court then they can apply to the court for power of entry meaning using a locksmith to gain entry if you refuse

That's ONLY for a magistrates court warrant- with council tax/parking fines etc then they cannot force entry without a walking possession order

OP if I were you I'd pack some bags and when the bailiffs knock open the door, wish them well and walk away!
Let your repulsive, lazy OH wake up to no TV, no Xbox and no girlfriend. I doubt very much it would teach him a lesson but I'd love to see his face!

It’s the bit where you said they can’t break in. They can use lawful force to break in if they have been let in before. I don’t know whether the op let them in before...

Read the last sentence of the first paragraph of my first post again. I gave the right information there. The OP did not give any indication that the bailiffs/debt collectors had been in the house before. To avoid confusion you could have said, 'Bailiffs can force their way in if they have previously entered'.

Just because Mumsnet has told the OP to leave doesn't mean she will, or that she will right away. In the interim she needs to know her options.

How are you doing today OP?