Trickle Truth

[user21]

Post Affair.
How long is it acceptable to tolerate this?

He has worked so hard for reconciliation. But still new details/lies are being revealed.

It's tough and I don't know how much more I can take.

[lollipop7]

It will be easier in the long term to walk away. It will be far harder to stay and carry on trying to live with him when you feel this way. Your sense of loss will abate when you realise just how much he is and would continue to erode your peace of mind, ability to trust, relax and look forward.

You deserve a fresh start.

[MrsTerryPratchett]

Do you ever think you can trust him again?

[user21]

That's a good question MrsTP and I've actually surprised myself with the answer.

Yes. I do.

The affair was extremely out of character and although the lies are painful and partly to protect himself, they were also to save me from more hurt and hopefully save our marriage.

We have been together a long, long time and, apart from this, I have never known him lie to me or anyone else in that time.

So, I don't trust him to give me the truth about the affair but I do trust him to not do it again.

[user21]

I don't want a fresh start lollipop

[lollipop7]

Well you might not want a fresh start away from him but you need a fresh start together. Have you thought about some support to cast off the feelings of despondency and weariness that linger because if what he's done?

It takes a strong person to look beyond an affair. I couldn't. You must really love him. But then if you really love someone to me it must be intolerable, because they held your heart in their hands and did that. Who knows.....There isn't a right or wrong answer, we all do things differently and you have to decide what is the most important thing for you.


I wish you all the best and hope he doesn't let you down again.
Good luck 💐

[user21]

Thanks lollipop
I have made enquiries for counselling.

I didn't think I could get past an affair either, until I was in that situation. Many affairs happen because the relationship is shit anyway. If our relationship was shit it would be so much easier to walk away.