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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

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Original poster

Fuming with selfish arsehole of a DH

49 replies

armsrace · 08/04/2007 17:11

This is going to sound ridiculous to some people but others might understand where I'm coming from (I hope).

Basically 2 years ago I was a SAHM and since my kids were both is school I spent many days at home with sod all to do and no confidence to make friends etc so to relieve the boredom I bought myself "The Sims 2" for the PC. For the first year or so I was pretty obsessed with it, I'd have it on most days and clean up etc between loading times etc!

Anyway a year ago I started work part time so I didnt go on it as much but whenever I was bored on a night I would stick it on and 'update' my families etc.

So I've 'raised' my current families over a period of 2 years now, the 'sims' that I play with now and decendants from the sims that I played with 2 years ago and I know it sounds daft to other people but it's a little hobby for me.

Anyway, DH decided to tell me earlier on that he had "had to" format the pc as one of his programs wasnt working properly. I'm livid, I've lost everything from the game...he didnt even think to tell me first so that I could save it onto a disk, he just went straight ahead and formatted it.

I just feel so angry at him, its not just about the game its his whole attitude, like he's the only one that matters.

Am I being pathetic? I know it sounds like I am over a silly game but I'm so annoyed and upset I feel like crying.

OP posts:

Beetrootccio · 08/04/2007 17:13

difficult one - they are not real

but dh should have made sure you had sorted our stuff out.

Maybe now is the time to clean your life of Sims

paros · 08/04/2007 19:02

Its just the disrespect thing though isnt it . Its as though he is so much more important than your stuff . To be honest when you have had some time to think about it its not the end of the world and no one died . It could be a blessing in disguise . I trully do understand I was a roller tycoon addict (stands up and says ' my names Paros and Im a Roller tycoon addict , sits down ) LOL . Honestly I do appreciate where you are coming from but you being upset is only affecting you ,it sure as hell aint bothering him, so in a sence you are the only one suffering here . Go and give yourself a treat and when you are feeling calmer try and explain to him why you are so narked . You never know he might even understand . (I doubt it though ) best of luck .

FairyEdwards · 08/04/2007 19:05

if he has done a systems restore you can still get it back.

But I think that it is pretty sad to spend all day on the computer and I am pretty sure you think this too. take this as a chance to get out there and get off the computer. Go and work in a charity shoip and see where things lead.

Sims ain't gonna do nothing for you r confidence honey.

October · 08/04/2007 19:07

Message withdrawn

WideWebWitch · 08/04/2007 19:14

Gosh, I think he was unreasonable but I also think the Sims can be horribly addictive and maybe this is a chance to get more involved in rl? (says she, addicted to mumsnet! I do see the irony)

UCM · 08/04/2007 19:14

I'm ucm's friend, and i have sims 2. I've been playing it for quite a few years now myself, i totally understand. i had a problem with my PC and couldn't save it and had to start from scratch again myself, and i have the sims university, downtown etc, not pets yet though! So i lost everything, and it takes so long to build the families up etc....i wanted to cry, because i know all the hours put into the game.

vimfuego · 08/04/2007 19:14

There is a small (10%) chance you could still recover the files, you'd have to install some undelete software, scan for a "The Sims 2" directory, and pray.

DivaSkyChick · 08/04/2007 19:15

Maybe it was a passive aggressive way of getting your attention off the computer and on to him?

paros · 08/04/2007 19:28

sod off simms is much more interesting than RL LOL

adath · 08/04/2007 21:18

Armsrace I can totally empathise on how you are feeling. It easy to say it was only a game but it got you through a time where you were feeling low, probably a lonely and pretty miserable al round. This is something that you had dedicated a lot of your time and your soul at a time you were feeling vulnerable. Nobody would be mocking if you had taken up sewing or knitting or something a bit more socially acceptable. These computer games are a hobby dp plays one regularly and buys expansion packs to update it and he has put loads of his time into it and would be gutted if he lost it.

Is your DH like this in other areas a bit selfish I mean? Because maybe it is not even the gae itself that is the big issue maybe something else he has done upsets you?

FrannyandZooey · 08/04/2007 21:22

Oh dear

I don't know how people who spend time on here have the nerve to criticise this harmless hobby

I haven't any advice but just wanted to say that of course I can understand how you feel. Am sad and angry for you.

harpsichordcarrier · 08/04/2007 21:24

blimey how blardy annoying. I don't really see why this is any different from mumsnetting or tatting or watching tv.
your time is your own, waste it how you will

harpsichordcarrier · 08/04/2007 21:25

do people still tat, I wonder?

FrannyandZooey · 08/04/2007 21:26

I don't know

is it like totting? We were talking about totting today. People don't do that now; it's banned.

nallyschocolateorange · 08/04/2007 21:28

tat?

nallyschocolateorange · 08/04/2007 21:28

tot?

nallyschocolateorange · 08/04/2007 21:29

harpsichordcarrier · 08/04/2007 21:30

tatting, a very worthwhile feminine pursuit
maybe your dh would prefer you to be doing useful handicrafts

nallyschocolateorange · 08/04/2007 21:31

tatting looks awful

paulaplumpbottom · 08/04/2007 21:32

Very Inconsiderate

Whats the Sims?

harpsichordcarrier · 08/04/2007 21:34

v handy if you want a doily or two

MiserableCow · 08/04/2007 21:37

How odd! I was going to start a thread the other day looking for other Sims2 addicts. I would be pissed off but also excited about building up my families again - think of all those people who died of starvation/got burnt to death - you can do it all right this time. I WOULD be pissed off, but would get over it pretty quickly if were me.

Anniegetyourgun · 09/04/2007 08:24

I am a computer games addict and I would KILL someone who deleted one of my more advanced characters. Suppose you'd just spent the best part of a year creating a beautiful piece of embroidery, and your DP decided to have a clear out and burned it? Of course you could recreate it, and it wouldn't be a "useful" thing that you'd suffer for not having, but that wouldn't be the point. You'd be fecking livid, and rightly so IMO.

Note to OP: save your characters to disk as a regular thing in future!

Crazydazy · 09/04/2007 08:33

I too am addicted but my addiction is Zoo Tycoon, I am not a big telly watcher and DP bought me this for my birthday in february and I play it almost every night. I have the expansion packs too and I love creating zoos....DP thinks I am sad and does complain about how we never spend time together as I am always on the computer, but he is also always in front of the box.

Do understand how you feel, I have created some beautiful zoos......

Crazydazy · 09/04/2007 08:34

This Sims looks quite good....might try that.

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