Crying and shaking

[houseinthecorner]

This morning me and my husband were in a rush trying to do the school run and then go to the hospital for me to have blood tests. Just before setting off he put his gold chain ( that I bought him) in his pocket coz he was rushing and didn't put it round his neck. He dropped them off at school but then didn't leave the car again till he got home. 2 hours later at home he realised he lost it. He went mad, we looked everywhere and went back to the school and it wasn't there. He's now blaming me saying I cause him stress and it's all my fault that he didn't have time to wear it and that he put it in his pocket instead. It's his only day off today and he's spending it in bed now saying he can't do nothing now so I'm left to deal with everything now. If I don't find this good chair I'm going to get crap off him all day and for weeks to come. I'm sat crying because I don't know what to do to make it better again and I can't talk to him coz he's in a bad mood and is blaming me.

Could it be possible he has hidden it himself?!

I was thinking that, Santa. is there a chance that he's hidden the chain simply to have a reason to be angry with you and turn on you?

And the simple fact that two people can even think this man would behave like this should be sufficient to show you that he's a complete dick and you need to get away.

Sorry why are you with him

Please seek help

You cannot be this freaked out over a chain he dropped

My ex did indeed fabricate scenarios to lose his temper with me and the dc (not his)
He blamed me for a year that we were skint due to my spending on my dc - I was borrowing from family to pay bills at one point.
Discovered he had been on a more decent wage than he let on all along. .
Told him to leave the very next morning. .
Best thing I ever did. Cried for 3 weeks then felt the dead weight lift.
You can do it too op.

Thanks everyone

He's apologised now and said he just reacted bad because I bought it him and it meant something to him and he said he's seen sense now and it's only a material thing and there are more important things. He still shouldn't act like that tho and it is very abusive

So in other words he didn't want to do anything today, wanted to go back to bed with a sprinkling of making sure you are still meek and obedient so used this row to make sure it happened?

Go him. Please find your strength to stand up to him or tell him to fuck off.

Oh dear , what an absolute gobshite he is. Reacting badly would be being upset with HIMSELF for losing your precious gift. What he did was way off of the chart.

Please remember how he's ruined your day op , and the way he made you feel. Also please still phone women's aid when you next have the house to yourself.

He doesn't deserve a gold chain as he is mentally not mature enough to look after it. I can imagine most mums on here, if their child tried to blame their mothers like this they would roll their eyes and tell them to accept responsibility for things they have been given. Not blame anyone else. He is supposed to be a grown up. How embarrassing!

Next time he does this - and you know he will - tell him to accept responsibility and act like an adult!

Do things usually kick off when there is something going on with you?
Like you had to go to the hospital for blood tests. That's a stressful sort of thing in itself. But all you talk about his him and his bloody chain.
So you have to go the hospital for blood tests.
He loses his own gold chain.
He makes you responsible for losing it. He sulks in bed and threatens you with further bad behaviour.
This is how people with personality disorders behave. He hates when there is something going on to do with you that he can't control (includes you doing something on your own, or being sick, or something to do with your family). So then you get 'extra' kicking off behaviour. Does that sound familiar?
If he was going for blood tests, the whole bloody world would probably have to stop because there'd be such a freakin drama made over it...yet you have to go and he minimises it completely by making a big drama that puts all the attention on him.

So he's apologised...

until the next time.

There is something missing around his neck, but it’s not a gold chain

Get rid of him love. Seriously. He’s as abusive as fuck and he will only ever make you miserable

My ex claimed he had lost his wedding ring. . He was so distraught he simply HAD to go to the pub. Me and adult ds actually went to his place of work and went through the skip looking for it. ...
As the days went on I realised he had just said it as an excuse to go yet again to the pub.
Obviously his ring never turned up.

This is a typical pattern.

I am glad you’re feeling better but please look after yourself.

He's a nasty fucker. Start working on getting rid.

uh huh....A level in abusive behaviour for your NSDH.

I think he sensed he'd gone a bit too far and even you wouldn't accept total responsibility for this...so he gives you a tiny crumb of nice normal human being to stop you from thinking about his behaviour too deeply.

I know it's a horrible thought but you are nice and kind and compassionate,you are a coper and would have said you could manage with most things.

I hope you cn begin toput the pieces together and gather strength to leave him. This is no way for children to see an adult behave and you deserve so much better.