Husband at cinema

[Louise1926]

Should I feel as upset that I do about my husband going to the cinema with a female colleague? He didn't tell me about it- I assumed that he'd been working late. I, only found out when I found the cinema tickets. I've been to the cinema twice with him. Once in 2000 and the second time after I found out. He's always impatient with me when we go out.
Also, am I being ungrateful? For our 20th wedding anniversary, I got flowers, chocs and bottle of champagne. For his work business partner!colleague's Birthday, he gave her a £500 sound system. Again, I only found this when I was tidying up!He's not a talkative person so doesn't answer my questions. I reckon I'll leave when the children go to university.

Write down a list of all the evidences and things he's done or lied about using just facts
Read this back to yourself
Now think if you had a best friend or sister who told you these things about her husband what would you advise her to do

Louise, I really wish you well, whether anything or not is going on affair wise, the fact he is hiding stuff like this means all is not well and is a huge red flag. What a douchebag . You sound lovely. If anything was going on he could at least have given you honesty to make choices

Good luck OP. 💐

Whether he’s having an affair or not he sounds awful.

His behaviour towards you smacks of derision and contempt.

I understand you want to do what’s best for the kids, but tbh I’m not convinced waiting until they leave for uni is the best course of action.

If they know you waited for them they could feel a tremendous amount of guilt.

Equally even at uni they will be attached to their home. Having that taken away whilst they are not there for you to talk to them and reassure them I think could well be harder than establishing a new home before they leave, that they have lived in and feel a connection with.

Personally I’d get legal advice and plan to leave sooner rather than later.

Sorry OP but he is buying expensive gifts for her and spending time with her without you knowing- it's blatantly obviously what's going on

Even though he was mean to me, I felt like there must be something wrong with me

OH OP you poor thing. Not only is he blatantly disloyal to you, he's got you believing you deserve it.

You do not deserve this sort of treatment. Spending family money to that extent on a colleague? What's wrong with a £5 into an office collection?

Do it wait. YOU have significantly less rights when your kids are 18 (e.g. The courts don't see it as necessary that you keep the house for the kids etc)
I have just seen this happen to another friend.
Sorry this is a shitty sitch for you.

he's having an open relationship right in front of you OP... his business partner is his wife.. you are the housekeeper...

You sound so downtrodden. Your children won't break. Of course they don't want you to divorce, divorce is scary, but sometimes it's for the best.

How did it go?

Just read this thread. Hoping OP is ok?

I was going to leave the ex husband when our daughter left home, then I discovered his affair and moved things forward a few years. Am so glad I did, I shudder at the thought that I'd still be unhappily with him now if I hadn't found him out.
You only get one chance at life, please don't waste any of it being unhappy.