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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

WOULD YOU BE CONCERNED?

47 replies

spottyeasteregg · 07/04/2007 11:38

quick namechange for this

my DH works in an all female work environment, the only male in his department. Hes been there about 18 months.

its not an officy job and he has a laugh with them all.

theres one woman - lets call her 'sarah'

when he first started there he mentioned Sarah quite a bit, funny stories, jokes she had told him ect - but he never mentioned anyone else, always her

i told him it made me feel uncofatatble and we had a row over her, i had a strong feeling he fancied her (still do) , hes always denied it.

but if i mention her he always laughs or seems uncomfatable,

now ive been to his work place 3 times, never met Sarah.

I went yesterday and all the women came down to coo at my yongest baby,

when we got home i was curious and said 'which one was Sarah?'

he said she was upstairs,

i said why didnt she come to see our LO?

he fumbled a bit and said she had a cold

dont you find that a bit odd? DS isnt small almost 1 infact, so i dont think its a 'passing the cold on' worry

and she was well enough to be in work,

what do you think?

does it seem strange?

OP posts:
morningpaper · 07/04/2007 11:40

yes

morningpaper · 07/04/2007 11:41

but might be perfectly innocent

RedLorryYellowLorry · 07/04/2007 11:41

Do you think he has told her you think he fancies her? I worked with a guy who told his gf he fancied me and that made me uncomfortable around her. It was NOT reciprocated I can assure you.

Carmenere · 07/04/2007 11:41

Yes, sorry.

Hilllary · 07/04/2007 11:41

I wouldn't go to see a one year old or any child if I had a cold tbh, but then thats me, I wouldnt want to pass my germs onto a baby.

Alot of people do work when ill, depends what sort of role she has in the workplace.

Carmenere · 07/04/2007 11:42

But Redlorry has a good point.

spottyeasteregg · 07/04/2007 11:42

i dont think hes cheating at all,

but i do think he fancies her. and she does him,

OP posts:
spottyeasteregg · 07/04/2007 11:43

i aksed him yesterday if he had told her that i think he fancies her, but he said no.

not sure if hes just saying that in case i get pissed at him for telling her what i thought,

OP posts:
morningpaper · 07/04/2007 11:44

well that's ok

fancying is fine

everyone needs an office girlfriendboyfriend

you need to accept that he is going to fancy other women and they are going to fancy him - after all you did!

morningpaper · 07/04/2007 11:45

It might be that he is really good friends with her, and that he told her about your rage, and warned her not to appear?

spottyeasteregg · 07/04/2007 11:46

i know

i just have the thought of him cracking a joke and her giggling and twirling her hair...ahrgggh! lol

OP posts:
RedLorryYellowLorry · 07/04/2007 11:46

I think it's a little bit of flirting to brighten up the day but that they aren't having an affair. I bet as part of this flirting he has mentioned that you think he fancies her - letting her know iyswim. If he was having an affair he surely wouldn't have you visit, would he?

spottyeasteregg · 07/04/2007 11:46

maybe

i wouldve been a complete sourface during introductions

OP posts:
spottyeasteregg · 07/04/2007 11:47

he works in a shop, so i just turn up

OP posts:
Ifonlyhewould · 07/04/2007 11:51

So... next time you 'just turn up' why not ask to meet sarah. "oh, DH has told me so much about you i just thought i would say hi, feel like i know you already' sort of thing. That should take the wind out of their sails a bit

RedLorryYellowLorry · 07/04/2007 11:51

Have you ever seen her? I'd be really curious to meet her.

RedLorryYellowLorry · 07/04/2007 11:52

great minds

spottyeasteregg · 07/04/2007 11:53

no, ive never met her

OP posts:
spottyeasteregg · 07/04/2007 11:58

so i shouldnt be concerned its just harmless flirting?

OP posts:
RedLorryYellowLorry · 07/04/2007 11:58

and??

RedLorryYellowLorry · 07/04/2007 11:59

Sorry thought you said you had met her Must learn to READ!

spottyeasteregg · 07/04/2007 12:00

lmao

i dont think id be threatened by her, i dont have any body issies or insecurites, i wouldnt think OMG shes so pretty, im a sack of spuds ect

OP posts:
Ifonlyhewould · 07/04/2007 12:00

Well obviously you are concerned otherwise you wouldn't be on here asking us Take the bull by the horns, pop in the shop, and go meet her. Be all smiley, happy and friendly. Put a face to 'the wife', make yourself real to her, just in case. thats what i would do anyway. You have to stay on top of these things you know.

spottyeasteregg · 07/04/2007 12:04

he just said he asked her after we left why she didnt come down to meet LO and he said she said

'was your girlfriend there?'

and he said yes

she replied 'well i didnt want to go down looking a mess coz ive got a cold'

OP posts:
Ifonlyhewould · 07/04/2007 12:07

Oooh. She must feel a little insecure around you then, if she works in a shop but didn't want you to see her looking a mess {grin] he must have painted a pretty stunning picture of you. No, no worries here i would think.

(I would still want to take a peep at her though )

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