Texts after 'date'

[CageyBee]

I went on a date yesterday and I'd appreciate some outside perspective if possible. I'll try to keep this short!

Went on a very low-key date (been single for three years with no dates in that time) which was us walking our dogs together in a well-known beauty spot. He's someone I know vaguely that asked me so I thought I'd give it a go, he seemed like a nice person. The conversation was everyday chit-chat and whilst it was pleasant I didn't feel a connection. I think that's normal after so little time spent together. At the end of the date as I was going, he quickly kissed me on the cheek. Very unexpected and I was a bit surprised.

When I got home I had a text off him saying that he "floated home" and that I'm beautiful. I replied along the lines of that I had a nice time and his dogs are lovely. I got a ranting message back about if I don't feel the same just tell him etc. So I replied with "I'm not sure how I feel, not sure there's a spark if that's what you mean. I think you're a lovely man."

Cue an absolute barrage of abusive messages saying I'm ugly on the inside; I think I'm too good for this man; he was going to take me to XYZ but he's definitely not now as I don't deserve it; I'll never meet anyone as good as him because he's he nicest man; he only wanted to be friends anyway so what's my problem; he's going to avoid me; how upset he is. These texts just kept on coming and my only response was along the lines of "I'm not sure where all this has come from but I feel you've asked me cerynspon how I feel so I responded with 'not sure' because that's the truth."

He sent lots more messages similar to the others which then changed tone into things like "I'll still take you to XYZ but I won't introduce you to anyone" etc. I was really confused at this stage over what I perceived to be a passive-aggressive over reaction due to me not being pushed into saying anything I didn't want to.

I've not responded and feel I've had a lucky escape but have I been horrible? Or is he manipulative?

Needless to say I won't be going out with him again.

Holly shit what a nut job he is! Sounds like he did you a massive favour revealing his true personality early.

www.bye-felipe.com/

Check this out, you're not alone!

Thank you to everyone today who has responded- I very much appreciate the perspectives offered and the advice given.

To bring you up to date:

I've not heard from him and have now blocked him. I've shared this story (and the messages) with my friend and my mum and have had a lot of support. I've not been on a date (or in a relationship) with anyone for a long time and I am out of practice but the situation felt wrong. I've spent a long time healing from past experiences and am determined that someone is either right for me or not- no compromise. So I was glad I stayed true to myself.

Also I wanted to say previously that he said I am beautiful- I'm average and that's not me putting myself down, I'm realistic. I feel that's another manipulation tactic to build me up so I daren't knock him down. It doesn't work any more. I'm too old for this drama!

I'm now enjoying a glass of wine and chilling out.

I am very quiet so this has been a 'big event' for me that I would rather have avoided. Thank you to everyone for your kind and wise words.

Jbee I am going to check this out when I have some time to myself tomorrow- it looks interesting!

Good on you cageyb, much better being single than with idiots like this.

Good on you cageyb, much better being single than with idiots like this.

Thankyou Aero

I hoe there is never a next time but you should have one big question for yourself

Why did you ever consider that you were anywhere near being "horrible" here ?

I only questioned myself when he said in his message that I was ugly on the inside.

I thought back to the date and it was just casual chit chat -in no way did I lead him on or make him think this was anything more than a 'let's see how it goes'. I thought I was being measured and polite but wanted to check with others as I've not been out with anyone for a while and wondered if I had somehow become callous or something without realising.

Good grief there are some nutters out there.

Urgh horrid.

Avoid avoid dump avoid block.

It's like #byefelipe come to life.

I suppose on the bright side you only needed one date before the fact that he's a slavering misogynist came to light.

Lucky escape there OP! Good idea to keep all the texts and make people aware of the situation. What a fucking twat, no wonder he is single. Scary!