my husband cheated on my with my best friend

[evie28]

hi all
im a bit of a mess so im sorry if this doesnt makes sense... 7 weeks ago i found out my husband has been cheating on me with my best friend i found out by checking his phone as i felt something was wrong and i found very flirty texts and sex chat when i confronted him he said that they only talked and kissed but i didnt believe it so a week later he admitted that they slept together 3 times she would come to my house when i was on my night shift and they slept together in my bed with my kids next door and didnt even have enough respect for me to change the sheets so when i came home in the morning i went to sleep in those same sheets i told him to move out and hes staying with his parents atm. she wanted to leave her husband for him but my H said he wont leave me for her. the problem is i dont feel like his really trying. when i asked him if he loves me he said"i dont know" then i asked do you love her and he said "maybe" so i told him im done with this and he needs to go and work out what he wants. the next day i got a text form HER saying he texted her and wanted to meet with her to talk that we split because i think he loves her she told him to say he doesnt and his reply was "its not as easy as that thats why i want to meet" she doesnt want to have anything to do with him anymore ( or she claims) when i asked him about the texts he said he just wanted to meet to prove to me and to himslef that he doesnt love her. which i dont believe... what should i do? i dont know if i can forgive him for this... mine and her ďaughters are best friends and i have very upset little girl (6 yo) who doesnt undersatnd why daddy lives at grannys and why her best friend cant come over to play or sleepover its been 7 weeks i think i should be able to make my mind up what i want to do but i cantone day i want him back and start over and the very next day i want to end our marriageim just such a mess

I would inform school due to any upset this may cause between the two little girls. Better they get a heads up and can keep an eye and make sure you tell everyone at the school gate (after kids gone in of course). Hopefully the manky bitch will be shamed into moving schools which will be a shame for her DC but she should have thought if that. Why should you?

There are things that can be worked out and forgiven in a marriage. This is not one of them. Stay strong OP.

What a pair of utter cunts tell him to fuck off! Disgraceful behaviour, fucking her in your bed when your kids are next door when you're working nights, I'm livid on your behalf op, and now the impact it has had on your dd. Hell would freeze over before I could ever be intimate with such a bastard!

Absolutely NO WAY can you rescue this. He's crossed every line in the book and there's no coming back from it.
Ditch and move on.

I'm so sorry you are going through this, what a pair of utter wanker. Some people just have no shame and there's no excusing what either of them have done to you.
He's got you playing the pick me dance, he's got you both hanging while he's back being looked after by his mum. What a tosser, don't fall for any of his bullshit, it takes some sort of person to do what he's done to you and your DD, he's lower than a worm's belly.

he said he doesnt want her and thats what he told her. since i found out those text were the only contact they had (apart from her calling him on the day i found out saying she wants to leave her husband if he leaves me and he said no). i know you think im defending him but i just want you all to know the whole story. he says he want me and the kids but happy not like we were for the last 3 years. which is what i would like but then he cheated and that changed everything. i know hes been going through depressiin and shit but that doesnt excuse whats hes done. i cant bare to be touched by him i mean like hand stroke despite the fact that i still love him ( yes i love him desipte everything hes done). i cant even imagine how i cpuld ever sleep with him but then there are people who get over this and have a better marriage dont they?

It's going to be hard because you still love him but you have one life and you are still so young - you can start again and meet someone who loves and respects you (I'm sorry love, this man does not). Please take all the excellent advice given on here xx

He says he loves you and wants you.

But yet, weeks ago he said he didn't even know if he loved you, and was baws deep in your best friend. In your bed. The fact that he now says he doesn't want her and wants you is not a good thing. It doesn't mean you 'win', he's no prize.

I know it's hard, but please don't do the Pick Me dance. You'll hate yourself if you do it, it will completely destroy your self-esteem.

OP it is hard start again and find someone new. It's hard to give up on a marriage. I know, I've been there.

But, how can it ever be the same again? The respect and trust is gone. He has hurt you in the most terrible way.

Believe in yourself that you can recover from this and heal. Believe in yourself that one day you will be in a new relationship where you are loved, respected and adored. It's what you deserve. Not that nasty arsehole who shagged your best friend. He's not worthy of your time, trust or love.

Evie, you really need to find your self respect and end things. Please do not take this man back. He does not deserve you and does not deserve a second chance for this. It’s hideous. You will be fine. He is not the man for you.

I'd go and fuck her husband, tell them and then walk away from the lot of them with my kids but then I'm petty like that!

On a serious note; I'm so sorry OP you can get through this on your own and have a better future waiting for you without these disgusting snakes in it. Awful for your DD as well but she will make new friends and hopefully barely remember this time when she's older...x

@evie, this is horrifying. Having sex in your bed and then making you lie in it. Three times. That is a special kind of contempt. He betrayed and made a fool of you in the most personal, devastating way.

He was showing OW that he was willing to defile you and your marriage, just for her.

He also betrayed his own children by cheating in their home while they were in the next room. What if they had come in there needing their dad?

Both were happy to ruin their daughters’ friendship.

Depression and not being “happy like we were” are no excuse to stab you and twist the knife. All his current wishy-washiness just adds insult to injury. It doesnt matter what he wants.

Surely you will remove this poor specimen of a man from your life.

Christ OP, this is awful. I hope you tell this disgusting man and your 'alleged' friend to fuck the hell off outta your world.

ZOMBIE!

OMG you poor thing - these two stupid adults have not only now left you without the support of two people who were important to you (themselves) they have affected your little girl in so many ways. I'm so sorry this has happened - it must be devastating for you. You will get through this and life will be better - its just going to take some time. Some people find it helpful to post and receive regular support as they work through the issues - maybe this will help you. I know what you are going through must be awful - but unfortunately I am sure it has happened to lots of other people so maybe they will come on and give you some success stories of how they came out the other side and had better lives because of it. Good luck.