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Best OLD sites

37 replies

FreshFigs · 11/09/2017 22:16

Apologies if this is in another thread... couldn't find it.

I have been having a fairly horrendous time on OLD lately.

Which are the best sites for meeting people who actually want a relationship? Not just shagging.

Is it worth paying subs to any of them?

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SmokedGlass · 11/09/2017 23:30

I joined Elite Singles a couple of weeks ago (not cheap, but they had a good offer on)
Loads of views and messages before I joined, though they were quite a mixed bunch, odd profiles, much older than me and some, just bloody ugly. Then right after I paid, zilch, just the odd smile
I must say I feel a bit conned now, but will keep going until membership runs out
Nothing to lose 😁

FreshFigs · 19/09/2017 09:01

Any others that are free or not too expensive?

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userxx · 19/09/2017 09:06

Tried tinder? Not everyone is just looking for a quick shag on there.

Lovemusic33 · 19/09/2017 09:07

I use POF but it's a minefield, it's free so obviously you are going to get alsorts on there, I get a lot of messages, have been on a few dates but it's hard to find someone who's normal.

Tinder is ok, it's a free app, used to be mainly a hook up site but now seems to be much better.

Bumble is another app where you match people and then the woman has to message first, so you don't get all the sleazy messages from weirdos.

Plenty more fish is another one, it is on the same platform as guardian soul mates, you can join for free but you have to pay to be able to reply to messages, I suggest setting up a profile, see if you get many messages and then join (they usually offer it to you at a special price a week after setting up your profile).

newmumFeb17 · 19/09/2017 09:09

I met my partner on okcupid. Give it a go! Good luck 🙂

Notmyrealname85 · 19/09/2017 09:13

Try bumble over Tinder - and don't worry about having to message first, usually a "hi" is fine :)

Found that any more serious guys had moved on to bumble from tinder - they're not all looking for commitment etc but more so than the ones on tinder

Beentherelefthimgotthetshirt · 19/09/2017 11:56

I don't think it matters which site you use as paying doesn't mean you dodge the players and the shaggers. There aren't many sites I haven't paid for but I always go back to POF as it has the best choice which means more potatoes holding fish but there are some great guys on there too. The main thing is you need to hone your filters and apply some basic standards to the early messages and don't drop your standards just because you're bored or there's no one new on the site. The twats soon fade away. Some of them have to send you insults when you don't reply. Knowing what you're looking for helps too. I don't like Tinder as I like to read a profile to make sure he can spell and get some info about them but it really is a case of each to their own with OLD! You can join us over on the dating thread if you fancy that.

Lovemusic33 · 19/09/2017 14:58

And OP, please join us on the dating thread, great advice on there and we have a laugh.

ShatnersWig · 19/09/2017 16:45

None of the above. They are all equally shit!

FreshFigs · 19/09/2017 22:26

OKC - full of twatty potatoes

Tinder was full of exactly the same years as OKC, plus others just looking for a shag.

I have not tried Bumble - will look

OP posts:
FreshFigs · 19/09/2017 22:26

Twats not years

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FreshFigs · 19/09/2017 22:27

I may be being thick but WHERE is the dating thread?

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FreshFigs · 19/09/2017 22:28

Shattner - any other suggestions? Or do you think OLD is just shit?
Which is sort of what I was thinking tbh

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FoxyinherRoxy · 19/09/2017 22:32

Guardian Soulmates was rather good. Slow if you are outside London, and not a high turnover of new faces, but worked for me.

MarthaArthur · 19/09/2017 22:32

I too would like to know the best ones 😊

Beentherelefthimgotthetshirt · 20/09/2017 00:08

Here it is!

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/3032921-The-Dating-Thread-Number-122-Colour-By-Numbers

ShatnersWig · 20/09/2017 08:23

Fresh I disbelieve the stats trotted out that most people now meet their partner through OLD than any other method of meeting people. I can only go by my experience and that of others.

I know dozens of friends - probably 30 or so - who have used OLD over the last 10 years or so. Of them, there has been one marriage (on the rocks within three years and we're all sure she only stays because he's loaded) and one long-term relationship. Everyone else has either been played, or only had some first dates or a couple of very short-lived (2-3 months maximum) of dating someone.

To my mind, that is NOT a terribly good recommendation and is totally against the stats. Having said that, I do think much of it also postcode lottery - Guardian Soulmates is OK if you are in London or Manchester but pretty useless anywhere else.

In terms of my own experience, my photographic memory is useful. I was on POF for ages, couple of first dates but no more. After six months I left. I rejoined this year to give it a final go having used OkCupid, Match, Tinder etc. I would say somewhere between one third and one half of all the female profiles I saw were ones I'd seen when last on TWO YEARS ago. That means one of three things:
a) everyone is far too fussy
b) the success rate is way, way, way lower that the so-called stats
c) there's an awful lot of fake profiles designed to hook you in.

I don't buy c) with regard to POF but that is certainly the case with Match and one or two other sites.

Of course some people do hit the jackpot. Of course they do. Maybe they are more open than others, have less of a type they are looking for etc. But I won't ever go back to it and will stay single than go through all that again and pretty much everyone else I know says the same.

FreshFigs · 22/09/2017 00:25

I sort of agree with you Shatner.

I've also noticed a major crossover between Tinder and OKC...

I have had a look at Bumble, done a load of swipes and got 6 matches. Messaged all and nobody replied. Waste of bloody time!

I'll trot off and look at the thread above...

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debbs77 · 22/09/2017 00:33

Badoo is good! Only downside is that you can't specify distance.

FreshFigs · 23/09/2017 11:52

Distance is a biggie - I don't drive and have limited budget for travel :-/

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FreshFigs · 23/09/2017 11:54

Do you have to pay for POF?

I've had enough of Bumble - waste of farking time

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PopeMortificado · 23/09/2017 13:34

c) there's an awful lot of fake profiles designed to hook you in.

ShatnersWig or an awful lot of dead profiles and inactive users who have not logged in for months and not deleted the profile.

There is an interesting article written about this and statistics from a man's point of view about match.com - it was an analysis of number of emails a man would have to send (predicated on basis that men expected to be the proactive ones) to get one reply. I can't find it. The gist of it was given the large number of dead profiles a man would have to send some massive number of emails (1000s+) to get enough replies to lead to enough dates to meet someone compatible.

I can't find it now as I said but here was some other stuff

www.quora.com/What-percentage-of-Match-com-profiles-are-fake-or-expired

www.washingtontimes.com/news/2011/feb/8/matchcom-sued-by-disgruntled-subscribers/

www.complaintsboard.com/complaints/matchcom-sacra-california-c282688.html

OLD sites are all as bad as each other. Even paying ones have MM looking to dupe OW. The odds of meeting someone like that are low - but you could be lucky. It's probably better odds than playing the lottery but worse than a roulette wheel.

MyBrilliantDisguise · 23/09/2017 13:37

There was a poster on here who had a job working for some dating sites (some are actually the same company) where she had to write profiles and approach men. They couldn't respond unless they signed up, so they would and she'd gradually back off. There were several women employed to do this - it was a work-at-home job. They could each respond as each other, too.

Oysterbabe · 23/09/2017 13:40

I met my husband on match. My husband's brother met his wife on My single friend.

FreshFigs · 23/09/2017 18:58

Oh crikey Disguise! That's sort of the thing I've always suspected.., Grrrr

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