Is this too long for an engagement?

[Potterhead113]

Is 3 years too long to wait to get married after engagement?
(Disclaimer, not me just hypothetical)

It depends. We were about 6 years but we're engaged young (19) bought a house and had some babies before getting married at 25.

If I'd been with so done for 5 plus years and got engaged mid 20s plus I would expect to walk down the aisle pretty quickly!

Saving up, waiting for a certain venue, trying to ensure everyone who should be there actually CAN be there, pre-arranged commitments... I can think of quite a few. I would initially assume it was financial though.

DSis had a 2 year engagement and it would have caused total chaos if I had got engaged and married in "her" engagement window. Add in a few months for parents to recover and I've ended up with close to a 3 year engagement just to keep the peace .

I was engaged for 8 years before getting married. Been together for 18, married for 6 now. I suppose it just depends what suits different folk . Most friends seem to get married within two years of getting engaged though.

No, I waited four years, we wanted some nice holidays a nice home and dog before we got married and had children, I had the commitment from my husband and we had a hell of a good four years before settling down.

Me & dh married within a few months of engagement but I know many people that didn't.

My aunt was engaged for 10 years before they got married

My cousin was engaged 6 years and had 2 dc before they married

My best friend has been engaged 3 years but will marry next year, because she wanted a certain venue.

Just becuase someone is engaged they don't have to get married the next month. Some people want to save for that extra big day, others just aren't ready to take that finally plunge, some want a certain venue etc etc

We were engaged 2 and half years waiting to get married. That was just saving up and moving house in the middle that slowed us down.

I would assume one of you didnt really want to get married. Or neither wanted to but wanted some sort of commitment.

We Were engaged for 3 years it took us that long to save up for it

Sorry ignore me. Misread the OP. I thought it said 13.

3 seems entirely normal.

It would be too long for me, but it depends on ages and length of the relationship.

Depends if the 3 years wait is something you've both agreed on, or if the "engagement" was merely a vague expression of a future wish rather than a firm commitment.

You either get engaged to be married or engaged to be engaged. anything over 18months, maybe 2 years is engaged to be engaged and basically screams to everyone that one or both of you are not ready emotionally or financially to commit to a marriage

why not just wait until you are ready to marry before getting engaged to be married?

Anything up to 5 years I think is acceptable

Too long given legal and financial vulnerability if unmarried IMO if you already have DC together, especially if you're not wealthy and/or work PT or SAH.

No it's normal
People delay marriage for all sorts of reason
You marry when you are ready

Also too long if you want DC and age is a factor with either of your fertility.

We got engaged when I was 22 so didn't feel in a huge rush - waited 4 years. I was still a student for one, then training for 2 years on the job, didn't want a huge wedding or anything but kinda wanted to be on 2 proper salaries and for me to be qualified before we got married. I don't think that was an oddly long time in the circumstances.

I think weallhavewings that your statement is far too judgy. Folk can get engaged just to get engaged if they want . I've had three kids been with for 18 years and share a whole life together with my husband. If I had just carried on being engaged instead of getting married 6 years ago I very much doubt it would have screamed at not being emotionally ready to commit.
Our relationship has outlasted the majority of people's who met and married within a couple of years and the certificate does not change your relationship... although I do like being married.

Personally I hate long engagements, I think that being engaged should mean a wedding should follow within reasonable time.
We were married within 3 months, as I was pregnant, and we wanted to be married before the baby was born and before I was showing. But the longest I'd wait would have been a year:

I've been engaged 17 years!

Got engaged 2008 married 2014.
Life just got in the way before then.
But could not be happier!

I've been engaged nearly four years, been together nine. Found out I had lots of fertility issues six weeks after our engagement and went into full on ivf/trying to conceive mode as we didn't have time to waste planning a wedding (or the funds as ivf is expensive!). Currently pregnant with number 2, so not getting married anytime soon... I don't think it's anyone's business but the couple involved

I don't think so. We have been engaged for 4 years and together for 17. Buying a house then expensive fertility treatment and then saving for a house extension have got in the way. We will start saving for the wedding next summer.

Each to their own and all that!

Each to their own, but if you have or are planning DC but aren't married, best get your legal and financial affairs in order (which costs more than a basic wedding) and continue to work FT! Unless you have independent wealth.