If you are a married SAHM, what hours does your husband normally work?

[Mamalennon]

I've been a SAHM for ten years, to two sons aged 10 and 7. We also plan to adopt a child.
My DH is a city lawyer, earns well and we have a comfortable home. BUT the earliest he ever gets home is 7.30 p.m. and most nights it's later - can be midnight if he's really busy, like tonight. He also often has work to do at home and at weekends. He does see the children in the morning and can sometimes take them to school. I've recently been wondering how common it is to be married to someone and yet to spend so many evenings alone. I've become very very self-sufficient and it hardly bothers me any more (it really used to when the kids were little). We do get on really well and it's a shame our marriage is like this. Do other MNers have this experience? How do you find it - I'm curious. It's not something I discuss in RL because it would sound like I'm moaning, when I know I'm lucky to not have to go out to work.

You are me (but with older children, mine are 2 and 5). DH is also a city lawyer, looking to partnership in the next 2-3 years. Have days when it pi**es me off, but mostly I am fine with it.

I spend about 90% of evenings alone and dh works most weekends too. I am just used to it!

I actually did a couple of OU courses last year in the evenings as I felt I was wasting them a bit.

It annoys me when I'd like to go out and I can't as I'm the only one in more than anything.

I gues it's all what you get used to .
My dh changed careers about 10 yrs ago because the hrs prevented him seeing dd,he was coming home after her bedtime.
He's now home by 5 most nights which is brilliant(especially now we have ds aswell),he does have to get up very early so goes to bed earlier than me most nights so there is drawbacks.

dh also a partner (not law) leaves just as kids are having bfast and gets back when they are in bed but this is his job which he loves. takes dd to school once a week which is great. sometimes I resent when he is home in the evenings as I'm so used to being on my own so much
(god, did I really write that?) am on mat leave at the moment, looking forward to getting back to work for lots of different reasons, this being one of them

Do we have to be married to post here?

married, not married, dh or dp....doesn't matter, all the same isn't it??!!

out 8 am home between 6 and 8. Never w'ends.

It's pretty good compared to others

My dh leaves at 4am on a Monday, and returns either 7:30pm or 11:30pm (depending on flight) on a Thursday.

Based on other similar threads I've seen in the past, I don't think 7:30 is unusually late (sadly).

Dh doesn't have a high flying job but still works long hours.

He leaves anytime from 6.30 - 7.15 and returns at 6pmish sometimes a little later.

He also works every other Saturday and will be working both bank holidays this weekend, in fact I will only really see him on Sunday.

My soon to be-DH is away from Monday crack of dawn until late Thursday night - works from home Fridays. We've got used to it - tough on him and the DCs, and we've had excruciating scenes where the kids are going "Mum, Mum" constantly even when DP is around - at one stage asking me questions about DP when DP was actually driving the car we were in at the time. But I've got used to it - I actually think it's quite healthy for our relationship - we miss each other, and are always really glad to see each other, and are never complacent which we certainly were in the past.

My DH works from 7.30am till 8pm 5 days a week which can includes every saturday and alternate sundays. Wouldnt mind but his wage isnt even that good!!

My DH is in the army and has to be at work for 8am. If we're living on camp, he'll try to get back for lunch for an hour a few times a week and does sport the rest of the time if he can (so it doesn't take up family time). He aims to get home at around 17:30 but it's more often 18:00. He rarely has to work late and I do get narky if he's later than 6 as I like us to eat all together around the table. However, the downside (like now for example) is that if he goes on op tours for 6 months. But I guess getting home that early most nights is better than getting home after the DCs are in bed (IMO).

Sorry not married but....

My dp leaves at 6-6.15am & returns anytime between 5.30-8pm. He works every other saturday & has every sunday off.

It does get on mynerves sometimes, especially if i have had a bad day with the kids & could do with some help but he ho just get through it

I suppose I specified 'married' because when I used to picture 'marriage' it was that husband and wife spent most evenings together.. I know that's a bit Janet and John of me, but I'm starting to question quite a few of my life choices since discovering mumsnet and hearing other people's experiences - I think people are much more honest on here than in RL.

And do we have to be SAHM?

DH is home at quite variable times but usually about 6, but can be as early as 4 and can be away over night. So I do have to plan round him, make sure arrangements are in place re taking/collecting the DC because I work 3 days/week. If DH is available to do drop off at 8 am I leave for work at 7.20 which allows me to be home with both children by about 5.40 and take a lunch break! If he is not around I have to juggle things.

10.45 p.m. and he's just come home, so I'd better go, but interested to hear others' experiences!

hmm dh self employed, leaves house at 5.30am currently, gets back at 7pm......eats and falls asleep! I too have my own interests of an evening.

Leaves house 3-4 days a week, but works constantly, sometimes up to 2 in the morning. We're going through a rough time work-wise, everything happening at the same time. He helps with the baby's bath, but I don't get to watch telly with him or spend any time with him at the moment, I don't see him in the morning. Like op says, it's a shame. I miss him. He's an academic, so I hope things will be easier in the summer.

DH is self emplyed. He leaves the house at 8.30am comes home at 6pm to help put C's to bed, then goes out again at 8pm, to help his grandmother into bed, and/or a bit more work. He works every Saturday.
I don't mind as I'm really proud of him running his own business, and I know we wouldn't have as much money if he worked for someone else.

Dh leaves at about 7.45am and gets home about 6.45-7pm. He never works weekends.

We have 3 boys - 6, 4, and 2. He does their breakfast every morning, and on school/nursery days he makes their packed lunches. He is involved in the bedtime routine every night.

We spend almost every evening together - we eat together, watch TV and chat. The odd night I might be working (I'm a freelancer) but now the youngest is in nursery some mornings, that's getting less as I have more time in the day to get work done.

Dh leaves 8.30 ish, home 6 ish. But he could earn much more if he worked longer hours. We scrimp and save so that he can spend more time with us...

Well, he leaves about 6.30am and is often not back until between 8 and 10pm. That's when he's coming home! Twoish nights of the week he doesn't even do that. He also flies out to clients on a Sunday afternoon sometimes too so not even the weekends are reliable.

And no, work don't appreciate him and I don't get the opportunity to.

I started a Mini IQ party plan business of my own a year and a half ago and just have to rely on the wonderful 17 year old baby sitter over the road to fill in the gaps. The kids are always asleep so it doesn't impinge on them that I go out and the business is worth it. At least I get some adult company and the kids get a full time mum.

my dh works down stairs in our cellar! he is always home and it drives me mad!!!!
never have any time on my own!

so i'm slightly jealous of all you ladies who's dh's are out from under your feet all day long... think what it would be like to be with them 24/7 365!!!!!!!

I'm actually in Uni so I'm not working but not always at home either 9though only 10 hrs a week in termtime Sep - April).

Dh works 7 - 6 or 9 - 8 on a night shift, 4 days on 4 days off.