If you are a married SAHM, what hours does your husband normally work?

[Mamalennon]

I've been a SAHM for ten years, to two sons aged 10 and 7. We also plan to adopt a child.
My DH is a city lawyer, earns well and we have a comfortable home. BUT the earliest he ever gets home is 7.30 p.m. and most nights it's later - can be midnight if he's really busy, like tonight. He also often has work to do at home and at weekends. He does see the children in the morning and can sometimes take them to school. I've recently been wondering how common it is to be married to someone and yet to spend so many evenings alone. I've become very very self-sufficient and it hardly bothers me any more (it really used to when the kids were little). We do get on really well and it's a shame our marriage is like this. Do other MNers have this experience? How do you find it - I'm curious. It's not something I discuss in RL because it would sound like I'm moaning, when I know I'm lucky to not have to go out to work.

Dh works 9-5 on the dot. He has a long commute thoguh so is home about 6:30pm ish.

He wouldn't dream of working longer than that unless it was an emergency (but I don't think life assurance land has many emergencies tbh).

I would be unhappy if he was working very late. Life's too short IMO. He doesn't earn a fortune - just enough to pay the bills and keep our heads above water, but he sees the children every night at bedtime and that's really important to him.

Oh I should add another 2 - 3 hours on a working day and maybe a bit more on a day off for his little self employed business- because he's here it doesn't feel like he's working.

My husband is a lawyer sooo people assume that he has a good wage - not true because he never did the city lawyer thing even when in London - he is a 9 -5 man thank god! Now we've relocated to the SW and he leaves home at 8.30 am and is home by 6 at the latest. My best friend's husband in London is a trader and his hours are ridiculous. They have so much more than us in material terms but I wouldn't ever swap. DH gives Ds breakfast and evening meal, baths him etc.

Thank you everyone, your posts have put things into a bit more perspective for me. I'll try not to feel sorry for myself any more !

i was just going to add that if it is starting to upset you then maybe it is time for a change? maybe he is ready for a career break or change and might feel he has to maintain a certain lifestyle?

life is so short and whats the cliche about noone on their deathbed wishes they had worked more? maybe cash in that fab house and encourage him to do something completely different?

Thanks Newgirl, he is actually working on downshifting big time in the next two years. I'm certainly not overly concerned about money, I would much rather have a more balanced family life.

Normally out 7.15am in 4.40pm.

Occasional lates if an emergency job comes in.

No weekends normally, althought did do a Sat/Sun full days for a course not long after starting.

Summer out 5.15am home 1.30pm. (that's if the day is 35 degrees +)

DH has just returned to work. He leaves at 6.30am and is back at 4.30pm (his hours are 7-4)

When I work full time and he is a SAHD I leave at 6am and get home just before 5pm (I have a longer commute).

Family time is ultra important to us. We eat together every night. DH and I don't do overtime (but neither of us are particularly ambitious).

My dh works full time but does different shifts.
So he can either work 7am-3pm or 2pm-10pm. If he does a late shift, he also does the occasional "sleep in" which means he will sleep at work and then do an early shift the following day.

Atm its ok as our dd is 3 and our ds is 7 months.

My ds's are 1 and 2. Dh works five and half days a week. He leaves here at 7 and gets back at 6.30. We do our own thing in the evening. We dont really spend any quality time together but i think when your kids are so young its all about them, and you have to adapt to it.

thats ok mamalennon - it just rang so many bells for us!

Not a SAHM but dh goes out at 5.45am, he starts at 6.30 and gets back at 7.15, he finishes at 6.30. He works 2 weekends out of 3 & this year will be the first Christmas in 4 years he'll not be working on Christmas Day. It's quite sad but my first thought was what will I do with him under my feet all day?

DH leaves at around 7:15 and gets home around 6:30/7pm.

Or sometimes he goes to sea for 4 months.

It's changeable!

Message withdrawn

Dh leaves at 8.20, gets home about 17.50. He is too late to eat with us, which we hate. His last job allowed him to start at 8 finish at 4.30 so he was always home for tea..before that it was shifts, 3 early, 3 late,3 off. Once the kids are a bit bigger I will be able to hold tea back a bit so we can eat together. Weekends are ours, although he is studying for an MCSe (i think). so he trys to get that in. Kids all in bed by 7.30 latest so we do get our time at night..