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Original poster

Should i give this guy another chance?

39 replies

alazuli · 09/09/2017 20:20

So I started talking to a guy on one of the dating apps. He's the most promising guy I've spoken to in ages - similar interests, looks handsome, has his own place and lives 10 mins away from me (I'm in London so this is not that common).

We messaged for ages one night so I asked if he wanted to meet for a drink as I'm a big believer of meeting up quickly to see if there's any chemistry. He said he had a crazy week coming up and then was off on holiday. Fair enough. During that week he was still messaging me. He got back in touch a week after he came back from his holiday. Again I suggested a drink. We were supposed to meet Friday. Thursday he says can we rearrange he needs to work late. I suggest Saturday. He agrees. Today he gets in touch to ask if we can meet tomorrow.

Argghhh. I said I was busy (I'm not) because I was so annoyed. He suggested next week. Time to cut things off?

OP posts:
WorriedandExhausted · 09/09/2017 20:26

Sounds like he is avoiding meeting up for some reason, but he likes you enough to keep talking to you.

I would cool it off, he sounds complicated.

But if you really like him, give him one last chance if he cancels next week cut him off

thestamp · 09/09/2017 20:27

I'd not give another chance.

If you do you're effectively telling him you're fine to be fucked around on times/dates for the rest of your liaison. He sound married or similar - but even if he isn't - he's showing you what you should expect from him.

The tones been set and it sounds shit to me. I'd sack him off

Sorry, I know it sucks when they seem a good prospect x

Dancinggoat · 09/09/2017 20:31

He's suggested a date. It's up to you. You could say let me down on this one and there's no more rearranging. Tell him straight or cut him loose. It could be genuine sometimes stuff happens. But play it cool and direct.

category12 · 09/09/2017 20:37

I'd say so.

category12 · 09/09/2017 20:38

As in, no, I wouldn't bother again. If he can't find time to meet, then he's not going to be much of a prospect as a boyfriend.

niceupthedance · 09/09/2017 20:48

No because he sounds like he may already be in a relationship tbh

hungryhass · 09/09/2017 20:48

I've dated many men off dating apps and the main reason they could not meet up with me is because they had other dates lined up (I was told). When they subsequently do want to meet you it's because their other dates didn't work out.

It's normal to want to date a few people but I never want to feel like I'm just another one on the list.

Original poster
alazuli · 09/09/2017 20:55

I've been online dating a while. I get that people are super busy and don't want to invest too much at the beginning. Also I'm aware that even if I actually meet up with this guy he might not look like his pics/there might be no spark/he might be an idiot. But I can't even get to that stage yet!

niceupthedance and thestamp - I have wondered if he already has a gf mainly because the area I live in is v coupley/for families. Also he told me he bought his flat in his 20s which in London is impossible if you're on your own.

OP posts:
Original poster
alazuli · 09/09/2017 20:55

Although I managed to do just that (in my 30s)!

OP posts:
MilkshakeAddict · 09/09/2017 21:00

Why not give a date for next week and if that is cancelled, then stop messaging him?

rosabug · 09/09/2017 21:51

Nah. Don't overthink it with OLD. This guy will give you the runaround - he's doing it already. He's talking to and dating others - including in all likely hood your arranged saturday. Let it go.

Original poster
alazuli · 09/09/2017 21:51

Mmm, I'm thinking maybe one more chance just because he lives so close to me.

OLD sucks.

OP posts:
Prictoriafeckam · 09/09/2017 22:34

He's a messer, don't bother with him. He'll keep mucking you about.

riceuten · 09/09/2017 22:40

Let him choose a date. If he cancels, fuck him off.

Aquamarine1029 · 09/09/2017 22:45

My guess if that he's married or in a relationship. Why waste time with a guy who is clearly fucking with you? He will only continue to do so.

Dontaskmegoogleit · 09/09/2017 22:54

Just meet him. Make your mind up then when you can see the white of his eyes.
Who knows it might all be just circumstances so far .
No pressure either side.

Original poster
alazuli · 09/09/2017 23:30

The thing that makes me think he's not in a relationship is that we were talking last weekend and he suggested meeting up that day in a local pub. I couldn't go as I was busy but that would be pretty brazen wouldn't it meeting up in your local while your gf/wife is at home?

I think he's probably just going on loads of other dates as PPs have said. As should I really but I haven't come across lots of people online I want to meet up with.

OP posts:
Dontaskmegoogleit · 09/09/2017 23:31

What have you got to lose ?

TheStoic · 09/09/2017 23:34

I'd be giving one more chance.

Angelf1sh · 09/09/2017 23:46

I bought my London flat alone when I was 24, it's not impossible to do and doesn't mean he's married or whatever. But I'd bin him off, if he wanted to meet you he would have by now. If you said yes to tomorrow then he'd either have cancelled or failed to tell you what time you were meeting.

Original poster
alazuli · 10/09/2017 00:41

Dontaskmegoogleit - nothing. Maybe my pride. :)

OP posts:
Original poster
alazuli · 15/09/2017 11:22

UPDATE: We met and I really liked him. More than I've liked anyone else for ages. He did say we should do it again at the end of the date but I've not heard from him since and it was a few days ago. He's not interested is he? :(

OP posts:
Worriedrose · 15/09/2017 11:26

Sadly probably not
He sounds like hard work.
Sorry. Flowers

SleepFreeZone · 15/09/2017 11:28

Oh that's annoying.

Aridane · 15/09/2017 11:32

I'd say one more chance. I don't think one can interpret that he's married etc from being busy. Though you would think you put your best foot forward with a first date.

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