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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

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Not cut out for parenting

58 replies

hotchocolatepop · 09/09/2017 16:01

I love my son and would do anything for him but I genuinely feel like I'm not cut out for this.

He is 2.6 and so demanding and naughty. We can't take him anywhere.

He bites, shouts, screams. He hits and kicks when i need to get him in / out of the car.

He wont walk nicely and will run off at any given opportunity.

Everything is "mine" at the moment which is driving me insane. He will shout it at people walking past who haven't even taken any notice of what it is he is claiming is his.

He jumps all over the furniture and beds and generally just creates chaos in every room. He won't listen if he is told no and finds it funny.

He occasionally sleeps through the night but not consistently so we're constantly tired.

I have him at home on my own 6 days a week whilst Oh is at work or doing his hobby on a Saturday.

It just seems whenever we're out he's the naughty kid.

The only thing that keeps him entertained is the iPad but I don't really like him having that too much but it's the only way I can keep him occupied.

I'm due another soon and I'm literally dreading what it's going to be like.

OP posts:
thestamp · 11/09/2017 19:14

Oh love I'm so sorry to read your update.

Tell us what you need from us, what support you need, even if it's just that you need people to talk to.

Tell us your plans or what you need to know/talk about in order to make plans.

MN will hold your hand. No-one will flame you for being unmarried! Loads of mums here are unmarried

Apileofballyhoo · 12/09/2017 10:24

For your toddler you might find a book called 'How to talk so kids will listen and listen so kids will talk' helpful.

And I found these two websites really helpful too.

www.ahaparenting.com/ages-stages/toddlers

www.peacefulparent.com/the-peaceful-parenting-philosophy/

TailEndCharlie · 12/09/2017 10:36

OK - three things..

  1. You are basically where all of us who had two with a 2 year gar have been. Your toddler is doing what all toddlers do and pregnant it is knackering. I remember having to wrestle my 2 yr old off the supermarket car park floor 3 weeks before the new arrival as she screamed the place down. I use online shopping from that moment on.
  2. Stop thinking you have to take your child out so much. At that age staying at home can be a really calming and securing environment. Plus you can introduce routine and have all your battles in private. Treat the toddler basically like a puppy... it is time to start some training!
  3. Now is not the time for your OH to be indulging a hobby. You need to rest and prepare for the baby coming and the first 6 months with two is a struggle without you putting in a 6 day week. It is all hands on deck time, and he needs to realise this.
TailEndCharlie · 12/09/2017 10:42

Sorry saw update. The man is an utter dick. But he will have to pay maintenance. Hope the council can help swiftly. Advice still stands about your toddler. It will get better especially with the removal of the stress between parents. Hang in there. Flowers

twattymctwatterson · 12/09/2017 13:24

Ok so make an appointment with Citizens Advice and they'll be able to help you. When you Amoy together you will be entitled to housing benefit, Tax Credits, income support as well as maintenance. You can do this alone and in fact you will be better off without this cunt dragging you down

hotchocolatepop · 12/09/2017 19:03

He will take satisfaction in me ending up in some shit hole flat in a not nice area whilst he's comfortable.

But no response yet from the housing. I feel it best to just sit tight rather than potentially make myself home less by going on at him.

OP posts:
sushiwushi · 12/09/2017 19:33

Remember he will need to pay maintenance for both children. I'm no expert but surely you will be entitled to housing benefit and other benefits to help you?

What an a hole he is. You are better off away from him. It might look scary now I know Flowers

sushiwushi · 12/09/2017 19:34

Yep like what twatty said Grin

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