Red flag?

[MozzchopsThirty]

Not a boyfriend but a FWB currently

Tonight I told him my ds is in bed with me again
He said 'ah well you want to stop that now or it'll become a problem'
I said 'thanks if I need parenting advice I'll ask'

I was pissed off

It's not a problem for me, so who was he referring to himself probably

I've told him that I don't know if I want or am ready for a relationship, he's saying he'd like me to give him 2 hours a week
Well sometimes I don't have that! Or I want to do other stuff
It's only been 3 dates and one shag

He also says he feels I used him for sex

It sounds like there's a communication problem there. I'm assuming he doesn't have dcs?

Oh dear... he doesn't sound like he's much fun.

He has 2 daughters who live with him

if he's only a FWB rather than a relationship then you can ditch him at anytime?

Yes red flag. Ditch.

Agree: ditch, or at least stop all benefits.

Sounds to me as if he may consider you as more than an fwb if there's been talk about 'relationships'. Either than or he doesn't understand what an fwb really means. After all the point of an fwb is that there are no strings or commitments of any kind. More of a 'You free?', 'Yes', 'OK then wanna shag?" sort of thing.

Run for the hills........ He sounds like hard work!

He WANTS 2 hours a week??? Tell him Mrs Hand and her 5 daughters are free as many hours as he bloody likes and she's right at the end of his arm.
What an arse. If you want ds in bed with you have him in bed with you

My fwb later become my partner.

Even now he wouldn't DARE comment on my parenting. Total arse.

I don't think he sees it as a FWB
He wants more, much more
He says he just wants to kiss me all the time and is happy to meet up and have coffee & just kiss

I'm going to slightly go against the grain here and say I don't think what's he's said sounds particularly bad, but he clearly wants more than you do. If you're not that into him, and don't want to invest anything in the relationship you need to be straight with him and probably end things sooner rather than later. I don't think two hours a week is too much if you really like someone. You don't seem to, however.

This doesn't sound like FWB.

No I'm not invested at all
I don't have the time at the moment
He says he feels like I used him for sex

He has made no secret that he wants a relationship

Not a red flag to me. I interpret it as him saying it will be hard to get your son to sleep alone if he's often in your bed.

You obviously didn't appreciate what he said, but I don't see it as wrong.

If you can't give him 2 hours a week then you are best ending whatever it is that you have with him.

He has his kids Sunday - Friday
I get Wednesday without mine then every other weekend
On my weekend off I currently have to write my msc
I don't have time for a relationship right now or someone demanding time
Only the dcs get to do that

Er an FWB thinks you used him for sex? Isn't that the whole point of having an FWB? Clearly he wants more than that, if you don't then you need to stop seeing him now really.

He says he feels like I used him for sex

Isn't thst the whole point of a fwb arrangement? Have you both agreed it's a fwb set-up and he is just a bit dim or is there a communication failure at play?

I feel like the uncool kid on the first day at school - what is a FWB?

Friend With Benefits

He wants a relationship. You don't. Just tell him straight that a relationship isn't on the table and stop messing him about. It's not fair to ask him for a FWB setup if he wants a relationship. FWB doesn't work if either side has feelings or wants more, so give it up as a bad job and find someone more compatible.

What he said was just a throwaway remark and completely irrelevant really - the problem here is that he feels used and you feel put upon because you have completely mismatched expectations/needs.

You sound like a fab mummy x

Ok I get it we need to have the chat