Dating - Female POV

[Scs90]

Hi there, I met this girl at a party, so it wasn't an online match lol. I asked her to dance, we did, then I asked for her number, she gave it and then we had a talk and kiss, great way to end the evening.

I text her the next day and we instantly hit it off, finding out about each other whilst making each other laugh for a couple of days.

I asked her out and due to being busy that was about 10 days away, so we had a a fair few days to talk before meeting up, which went very well. Still getting to know each other and having a laugh.

Anyways we met up and have a very good evening in town, got to know each other more again whilst having a laugh. I waited before kissing her again properly, she mentioned that she had been waiting for me to kiss her.
We have not a so serious conversation about what each is looking for, both say not looking to play games, both on the same wave length and not the type to see other people or sleeping around. So I walk her home and end the night with a couple of kisses.

I ask her out again and we meet up, have a blast and then she asks if it would be awkward if we met up with her brother (asked me more than once if this was cool) (came across as a big deal to meet part of the fam) and couple of friends as we were at a fayre/festival type of place.
Anyways, I end up staying the night, both a bit drunk and we slept with each other.

She did say she was intending not to sleep with each other untill the 3rd date but she was sure and ready to proceed on date 2.

All going great, so we plan to meet in 5 days and come day 3, she calls me says about our date, its best we dont as she isnt feeling it anymore,even though im amazing, very good looking, funny, great dates, great in bed lol but just doesn't want a bf right now.

I mean fair play she rang me But still im a bit baffled, meet part of the family, doesnt play games, i tick all of her boxes.
I asked why she lead me up the path and say stuff that lead me on, she apologized and shouldn't have, and for meeting her family, she shouldn't have done that she said. LOL too right. Who does that?
I certainly wouldn't take a girl back to my family if I wasnt very interested in the girl.

I asked why she wasnt feeling it, couldn't tell me really, apart from she doesn't want to get 3 months into dating me and then hurt me? I mean, isnt that what dating is about?
I never once asked her to be my gf or tie her down or suffocate her, so this baffles me more lol. She really was on my wave, funny yet we both had deep serious conversations

So that was 3 days ago, and so far she has not contacted me and Ive certainly not messaged her.. lol would that be a good idea just light and cool, or a strict no.

Im just all a bit confused by it all.

How can you do from, meet my brother, I don't play games, I'd love a 3rd date to I'm not feeling it no more?

I'm not insecure or anything, just don't like being lied to lol I'm straight up, if I'm not interested I wouldn't do things to lead her on? Doesn't make sense.

She was feeling it then suddenly not.

Any advice would be great.

She's just not that into you.

Don't message her.

It does sound strange but there is obviously a reason why she doesn't want to take it further.

If just forget about her.

Maybe she felt it too much and it scared her so she has backed off? Ultimately you may never know but respect her decision or risk becoming a stalker in her eyes!!

I'm no expert but in the modern dating world I don't imagine many people are saying 'I'm pretty unreliable. Not too keen on honesty and have a history of game playing'.

So they say all the good stuff. They probably even mean it when they say it. But then in the cold light of day they decide they didn't mean it after all.

I used to scratch my head about this all the time, I was genuinely baffled when super keen guys would vanish like scotch mist. It's just how loads of people are. Great in the moment, but not that arsed in the longer term.

I think the brother bit might count as 'future faking'?

You were "too nice"

Simples.

Don't stop though

Schoolboy red flags here.

You did the chasing, were far too nice & once the interest is gone it's gone.

Nice that she's ended it so soon all around, just accept it & move on

She's changed her mind. It happens, sorry you feel hurt but please don't contact her or try to change her mind, let it go, she was not right for you, somebody else will be

She's just not that into you. She liked you enough to hang out and have sex but there isn't enough there for her to want you to be anything more. And she's done the right thing being upfront at the start now if she knows she isn't gonna develop deeper feelings. If only everyone were this honest and up front in the dating world!

Female POV- she's just not that into you.
Sometimes people will persevere with a relationship and see where it goes but other people just know that no matter what happens they won't start feeling 'it'
She's one of the latter, better that she breaks up with you now than string you along when she knows she isn't feeling it.
Mark it up as experience and don't contact her.

I asked why she lead me up the path and say stuff that lead me on

I think if a guy said that to me I'd be put off him. Also if you type lol all the time in your messages I'd be really put off!

Thanks for your responses.

It's just hard when you take a girl at face value, what they say and how they act.
So you start feeling like you've met a decent person, for them to all of a sudden call it off? And go back on what they say. Don't get it lol as I said I wouldn't say things to someone if they weren't true or didn't have those intentions.

To go from really into it, to just sacking it off.

I don't see how I was 'too nice' ? I'm a nice guy, with good values that's all. I was told by a mutual friend that she's a good nice girl and not just a bit of fun.

How was I too nice?
How did I scare her off?

We spoke in text daily, nothing forced or serious what so ever.
Laid back and cool, we arrange 3rd date and then she bails getting cold feet it sounds like to me?

Ha I don't write lol that much.

As I say, im just confused why people do and say things that act like they're serious?

I would never bring a girl home to my mum or family if I wasn't really into her.
I would never agree to a date or keep talking to someone if I wasn't feeling it.

I doubt she intended to be frivolous with your feelings but people are allowed to change their minds. You sound lovely, just notch it up to experience.

Gawd if you are this intense after two dates perhaps she had an inkling that you could be too much.

Who knows? Two dates? Don't sweat it.

She probably didn't plan it this way. Maybe she was all excited and over keen and she thought it would be nice to introduce you to her brother but for whatever reason she has changed her mind. I have done it myself several times. Sometimes not even for a discernible reason, just a feeling that you don't want to see the person again.

Ok, to be really really blunt and give you an honest female POV, if I dumped someone immediately after I'd had sex with them after being quite full on and into them, it'd be because he was lousy/weird in bed.
I'm not saying you are either of those things, I'm just saying that's what my angle would be.
Your final comment about her being 'a good nice girl' would turn me off massively as well.
I actually think she has been remarkably up front and hasn't strung you along at all. It was two dates, no more. She promised you nothing.

As I say, im just confused why people do and say things that act like they're serious?

Honestly, it's shit but she's entirely entitled to change her mind. Sleeping with you once wasn't "leading you on" - to say that makes it sound like you think when she's slept with you once then she's consented to sleeping with you again. She didn't.

I don't think she lied to you. I think she simply changed her mind. That's allowed. Sorry.

Waaaaaay too intense. You had two dates. She got cold feet and decided you weren't for her.

That's dating for you. It happens.

You have to lean to shrug it off, not accepting it and questioning someone is v off putting. She had the good grace to call you to call it off. Accept this gracefully and back off and move on.

Most men just ghost after two dates so count yourself lucky she respected you enough to be honest with you.

Good luck

Appreciate the responses.
I'm not a psycho or needy or too full on. Just here to find out from a female POV.

I'm not saying she can't change her mind, or that it doesn't happen, course it does. I'm not that blind.

Just I wouldn't say stuff or let her meet part of the family or ask her for a selfie and to send it to one of the family. She actually asked me this and I done it ha.

The sex was great, she said she wanted to wait till the 3rd date at least but it felt right and seriously it was good, more so for her. I'm experienced in this department haha. I know ;)

It was more the case of picking up signs from the things she was saying and doing that made it appear she was very interested.

She didn't dump me after the sex, we even agreed to meet up for a 3rd date. Was all still going good, then randomly at the weekend she calls and says date off, I was feeling it but I'm not now.

I appreciate she called me and was honest but I'd rather he say, the sex was crap, I shouldn't have slept you with this early, i met someone else, I don't like you because of this and that..

But it was, I tick all of her boxes, she was feeling it and just not now. Even though I hadn't been pushy or anything of the sort about relationships or texting too much, that was never the case.

Everyone's different I know, but if I'm not feeling it I'll ghost or be perfectly honest with them from the start or when I first know.
Not lead someone on, what a waste of my time and their time.

Perfect chance when I asked her out on a 3rd date to text back and say, I'm not feeling it.
Why agree then back out lol weird. But she told me she was feeling it then all of sudden, she's not.

I sense another guy on the scene....