He's deleted me on FB, gutted.

[deletedme]

In 2000/01 I worked abroad for a year. Met an amazing guy and we went out for only 2 months before I had to leave to come back to UK. We kept in touch by letter and then email and then when FB came on the scene he looked me up, due to his job he can't be seen on FB so only got it to keep in touch with me. We both went about our lives, lost touch a bit, got married and both still in our respective countries, opposite sides of the world. About Feb this year we started chatting, really started chatting. I told him how I wish I could have stayed there and he wished he'd told me how he really felt as he loved me and always had done, when he saw I'd got married he never wanted to say anything. We were both so young when we met and we should have taken a chance but didn't.

Anyway we had a silly row last week and I've just logged onto FB and he's deleted me as a FB friend. We didn't have anything romantic going on but I feel he's been a friend and a big part of my life for 17 years and he's just cut me off like that. I feel physically sick he could just do that after so long and after everything we've talked about. I told my OH we were back in touch months ago but not that he's now deleted me as I'm so upset. I've sent him a message but can't see if he's read it yet. Can't talk to anyone else about it really and just devastated.

If my boyfriend of two months from 17 years ago who lived abroad and was married was getting this invested, I'd probably pull the plug too.

Whitney also makes you wonder why he didn't just email?

We did email in the past but FB messaging was faster and easier when we're in different time zones. Not being on FB properly due to his job is real, I've seen proof. Account is still there, I can still message him but he's deleted me and taken away the button to add him as a friend. I messaged him this morning to say sorry he left without at least saying goodbye, but I won't be contacting him again.

I think not contacting him again is very sensible Deleted. I hope you feel better soon.

I get the situation I really do.
Think most of us at some time probably reminisce at the what ifs of our lives.. you've been able to do it with someone who meant something at one point in your life.

You've Found out there were some sort of feelings there - regrets etc and it's easy to remember an easier life.

I think you know it's for the best and it's coming to terms with this maybe you need to get your head around. As what you rekindled wasn't real life as others say it's easy to believe it would have been perfect.

It's just dealing with the feelings it's left behind. You'll get there, realise it was for the best and wasn't real if your being honest and realise if he felt this much about you why did it take him 17 years to reconnect? Cause really it's his ego that needed your attention not long lost feelings

You'll be fine, be upset for day alone then pick yourself up and start living back in your real life and assess if things needs to be addressed in it or if it was just a little indulgence

How many times haven't women on here caught their H's when he has left his laptop/iPad, phone you-name-it e-mails, FB etc signed in while gone to the toilet and a message suddenly appeared and out of curiosity she picked it up?

Or of course he could be playing tricks with you for not responding in the way that he expects which is manipulative behaviour.

And he is jealous of you for going out with your husband ON TOP of having confessed his feelings for you.

I did this to someone. I deleted him. I was head of heels and never in a million years did I think he'd been interested and we'd been spending loads of time together. I just had too cut loose because I was as falling in and didn't want to be hurt. Turns out he was gutted and couldn't understand why? He really liked me, I saw he moved on and married, not a day passes where I don't feel like an utter cunt.

Unfortunately life is shite at times and we all do things and feel things that make us question ourselves. As hard as it is concentrate on what you have, it's nice to think of the what ifs, lord I think about them often but sometimes you just have to step back and count your blessings even though deep down it's cutting you up

I mean I had to delete my One That Got Away from back in the day (like, 18 back in the day) and there wasn't even anything untoward going down. We FB friended up in that first flush of FB mania like everyone did and I was so stoked to have him back in my sight line. But time wore on and his presence there - not even interacting, - he seldom even liked anything - absolutely paralysed me on FB so that I couldn't ever put anything up, a status update (back when they were a thing), a photo, an event I was attending because I was just thinking how he would view if he viewed it all. I was so completely conscious of him. So, deleted. And gradually I have daydreamed less on the Tube about my one that got away.

FB is unnatural for giving us free access to all the things that used to stay in the past. Don't beat yourself up for what's happened. I really think it's only human. Moving on is the right thing.

I suspect he's not contacting you because his wife has had to point out that he was being a shit to her

My ex ditched me and our daughter for the one that got away and it didnt work out between them.

You were on a hiding to nothing. No contact is best.

There's a funny feeling among people sometimes that exes from the past and the world around them are just frozen in amber and you can go back and pick up where you left off, years and years later.

They're not, and you can't. Not saying it can never work, but it's never going to be like it was for those amazing two months 17 years ago. Wouldn't be even if you'd stayed together.