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Original poster

Scared flat chest will put off new partner

47 replies

Flatchest · 04/09/2017 21:30

I'm going away for the weekend with my new partner, it will be the first time we've slept together or that he's seen me nude. I've been on my own for three years and have lost my confidence sexually. I'm slim with very small boobs, around a 28/30a/b if that. Im so worried that he will be disappointed when he undresses me. I've deliberately only worn lightly padded bras to avoid giving a false impression but I'm so worried. I struggle to get nice matching sexy underwear to fit. How can I get a quick confidence boost?

OP posts:
Trills · 04/09/2017 21:32

Caitlin Moran says something along the lines of:
The only people who get to see my naked breasts are hungry children or men who are about to get laid.
Both should approach with an expression of gratitude.

Original poster
Flatchest · 04/09/2017 21:46

He's constantly telling me how attractive I am and how he loves the fact I'm so dainty compared to him but I keep comparing myself to women with a proper pair of boobs and worry he might not fancy me naked.

OP posts:
Josuk · 04/09/2017 21:49

OP - don't worry!!!!!!
It's unlikely that the man you are with is with you because he is into large boobs and has some sort of partial blindness where yours are concerned.

By the time you are undressed - both of you will pass the point of no return....
The breast size will not be issue whatsoever!!!!!

Do you think he is worrying about whether or not he is muscular enough? Tall enough? Groomed enough? Large enough for you????

Bet you he is not. He is, hopefully, just excited to finally be alone with you.
So should you be!!!!

If you need some confidence boost - get some new underwear! Try European ones - they have smaller sizes.
Or, if you are feeling adventurous -
visit Ann Summers
😊

LanaDReye · 04/09/2017 21:50

If you are passionately kissing and touching he isn't going to care he will already have been looking no doubt so no surprises

PacificDogwod · 04/09/2017 21:50

'Approach with gratitude' - love it! Grin

He is in to you, yes?
You are in to him?
The rest will follow, just allow it to, and don't sabotage a weekend away by already convincing yourself that there is anything wrong with your body.

Women with big breasts wish they had smaller ones, women with small breasts wish they had bigger ones; women with all sorts of breasts have great sex - that is what you should be concentrating on.

Let him tell you/show you that he fancies you, don't decide for him that he doesn't.

Sophiealice95 · 04/09/2017 21:54

He probably isn't into big boobs anyway!You sound like a lovely couple try and relax my dear have a great time!

PacificDogwod · 04/09/2017 21:54

Non-sexualised images of normal female breasts - the variation of normal always amazes me Smile

Have a lovely time Thanks

Tiredbutnotyetretired · 04/09/2017 22:06

Life is too short, thank god you are healthy and enjoy your weekend away Smile

greit · 04/09/2017 22:12

He won't care, he likes you.

Aquamarine1029 · 04/09/2017 22:38

I promise, he won't give two shits about your boobs. Like my husband has said, women are FAR more concerned about breast size than men are. Besides, you wouldn't want a man who only saw boobs anytime he looks at a woman. Your boyfriend fancies YOU as a person. Don't give this silliness another thought.

OldGreyBadger · 04/09/2017 23:18

Most men over the age of 20 with any experience of women have realised that the size of a woman's breasts is no indication of any other characteristic, be it intelligence, performance in bed or anything else. I have had very satisfying relationships with women with very small breasts. As one of them said "anything more than a mouthful is just for show." Relax and enjoy yourself!

OldGreyBadger · 04/09/2017 23:29

Most men over the age of 20 with any experience of women have realised that the size of a woman's breasts is no indication of any other characteristic, be it intelligence, performance in bed or anything else. I have had very satisfying relationships with women with very small breasts. As one of them said "anything more than a mouthful is just for show." Relax and enjoy yourself!

merville · 04/09/2017 23:34

While porn is a subject that raises very mixed reactions on here - one good thing it opened my eyes to is, that from the number of vids featuring women with small - very small boobs, that men find all boob sizes/all figures sexy.

Some are into larger boobs certainly, but some are not and the fact that he's seeing you/into you .. suggest he's happy with smaller boobs.

I frequent a male dominated forum as well, and when this subject comes up, it confirms that while some are 'boob' men, many do not care about boob size and are happy with small boobs if the rest of the woman's figure attracts them.

Ellisandra · 04/09/2017 23:46

I've got large breasts (30FF)
I've slept with 20 men.
Not a single one has given a flying fuck about my breasts.
Over half have been complimentary about my arse. A few have been legs men (I'm short, so I don't think I attract them!)
Although some of those 20 men have included my breasts in our foreplay, every single one did it during a "finding out what works for her" phase. Not one out of 20 touched /looked at my breasts in order to get off on it personally.

I know it's anecdotal but the sample size isn't too poor.

My conclusion is that "boobs men" are very much in the minority!

And of course others have said the necessary above, that a good man, etc...

Enjoy your date!

Ttbb · 04/09/2017 23:48

I'm sure that he has noticed by now that you are no Pamela Anderson

Marmaladeorange · 04/09/2017 23:58

I felt like this for a long time, to the extent that I kept my bra on during intimacy for ages. By the time I felt confident enough to take it off, my partner was so pleased that I felt comfortable enough and was so complimentary I thought he must be looking at someone else! But no, he still loves them and I feel so much more comfortable in myself since having made that step. I'm not afraid or ashamed of my own body. So take it slow if you feel like it, you can always wear a v. nice bra if you don't feel ready!! But also realise that if he likes you enough to sleep with you, he's probably pretty excited by your body already.

Athena404 · 05/09/2017 00:11

If he finds it an issue he's shallow and not worth it. Better to know now rather than later on. Just be thankful you don't have massive ones

RocketMouse · 05/09/2017 00:14

Just mentioned this thread to my DH to get his opinion. He scoffed and said something along the lines of 'if he has a problem with her boob size then isn't worth keeping around' and 'why waste energy worrying about something like that, women worry to much about their bodies'. As others have already said, it's not worth time thinking about. Be body confident.

Slinkymalinky1 · 05/09/2017 00:14

He clearly likes you and has clearly noticed you haven't got big boobs. Not every man on the planet likes big boobs! Stop worrying! Small boobs are sexy and you can wear backless tops with no bra, I'm jealous! Wink

ScruffyLookingNerfHerder · 05/09/2017 00:22

Another bloke here - he already knows and doesn't care, or actively likes smaller boobs. You really don't need to worry.

And Josuk's comment - I bet he IS worried about those aspects of himself too.

It's normal to be nervous, but neither of you want to spoil it. Relax.

RoseOfSharyn · 05/09/2017 00:42

Bet you a pound to a penny he's sat there thinking 'oh god what if she hates my beer gut/willy/moobs/stretch marks on my arse/my arse in general/my ears/the way I kiss'.

I have tiny boobs. But my arse is great and I know it! not even stealthily boasting the people I have had long term sexual relationships with have always been 'arse men'.

There's something about you he thinks is sexy, probably a lot of things in fact! As you will do with him.

He probably is a 'small boob man', so he'll love them.

So pull up or down those big girl pants and enjoy your night of passion! Grin

Graphista · 05/09/2017 01:01

As someone with a brother and a fair amount of male friends:

"Do you think he is worrying about whether or not he is muscular enough? Tall enough? Groomed enough? Large enough for you????"

Yes he's probably more worried about his body than yours.

Plus not ALL men are into big boobs, some like small-v small, some like bums, legs, lips... They are no more a homogenous group than women are.

The most attractive traits - confidence and enthusiasm!

TheNaze73 · 05/09/2017 07:49

I will back up Graphista 100%

Confidence & enthusiasm are sexier above all else.

ravenmum · 05/09/2017 08:01

You struggle to get underwear to fit? Then wear none! With little boobs they are not going to droop down to your waist any time soon so you can get away with it. And frankly, as far as I can tell (not such a big sample size as above but hey) to a man, bras are just those hard-to-undo things that get in the way of rubbing up against your soft skin.

Twinkie1 · 05/09/2017 08:15

DH is a boob man and mine have been huge from breastfeeding down to pretty small after losing weight. When I've quizzed DH about whether a boob job would be a good idea he laughed and said as a man being able to get your hands on boobs of any size is just fucking excellent (he is a successful mid forties nice bloke so not sure why he went all Bill & Teds in me!!)

Oh and another corker from the raging adolescent 40+ man in my life 'Best Place for underwear of any kind is the floor' 🙄.

I really wouldn't worry, he'll know roughly what to be expecting from seeing you clothed and wouldn't have progressed the relationship so far if it were a deal breaker.

Good luck. Hope you have a fab time.

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