DP = self-esteem wrecker

[SnoreBore]

My DP of a few years and I are going through a bit of a bad patch. This is down in part to his excessive porn use which meant he was increasingly expecting me to reenact what he was watching on screen in the bedroom. There was little or no regard at all for my enjoyment. Things came to a head about a month or so ago when I sat him down and gently discussed (outside of the bedroom) the problems we were having.

I thought we had moved on from this and resolved issues but this morning I gave him oral and straight after he just blurted out 'THAT was average'. Now he is either a very good actor or he enjoyed himself. He now claims he was just joking. I just think that what he said was nasty and deliberately timed to make me feel small.

Before we got together I was a confident and self assured person but I just feel that this has been taken away from me over the years.

It's not meant to be this hard is it?

Oh your life could be so wonderful! And it will be so easy to get free of him in comparison to some!

Dump his sorry ass

"Never make someone a priority when all you are to them is an option"
you are worth so much better

He sounds like a twat, you sound lovely. You def can do better than him. In fact being without him would be better than being with him as all hes doing is making you feel like shit

Put it this way op, could you imagine using him to just pleasure you and give you oral without you touching him or giving him any loving in return?

Would you then say to him that his oral technique was 'average'?

Would you watch porn and ogle other men?

No? So why does he!? I'll tell you why, because it's all about him and his selfish sense of entitlement and self importance.

His behaviour towards you is emotionally abusive and will continue to erode your self esteem and sense of self worth.

Honestly, LTB. Chuck him a box of Kleenex tissues and leave the sad wanker to it.

You are worth so much more than this

He is behaving like this because he wants out of the relationship but is too much of a coward to end things himself.

Just go ahead and dump his arse already.

Oh just dump the loser. There is a world out there full of men who know where the clit is, what it's for and get right off on giving you so much pleasure you beg them for more. Sex is meant to be mutually enjoyable. If you've got yourself a useless bottom feeder who thinks a woman's body is a plastic doll and you should be grateful for nothing at all, kick the shithead to the kerb. Sex is just too fun and lovely and profound and incredible to put up with this. He doesn't care about your pleasure.

You have no children, you aren't married and you don't live together...... I'd be telling him you need a break and space.

If my DH said that he would not be getting it anymore.

Please read up about the red flags of emotional abuse. He sounds like he has no regard for you or your feelings. That feeling that it's all about him is very familiar to anyone who has had experience of living with someone with narcissistic tendencies. Please think about leaving him and don't believe any protestations that he will change, they never do.

What a cock he is. Please just block him on everything and go home.

He can only make you feel unreasonable if he has access to you. Dump and block. No listening to his shit.

What I'm hearing is that he is decidedly below average in bed (and elsewhere) but feels he can 'score' you.

I hope your counsellor can help you see that you are worth much more than this.

He's watching far too much porn.
The average comment sounds like he's got it from porn. You know the humiliation type?

I don't often say this but he sounds a thunder cunt, run for the hills and never look back.

Christ I'd have told him "well your below average since you can't be bothered to please me you selfish twat, please yourself from now on"

Leave him!!

What would your dad say about you staying in a relationship with a prick like this ?

My Dad was a good man and wouldn't have even contemplated doing to my mother half the stuff DP has done to me. He would probably be having to restrain himself from violence if he were here.

I

Sorry posted too soon. I wouldn't ever contemplate telling him he was average in bed. Even when we were discussing the problems I thought we were having, I was still emphasising the good parts so as to not hurt his feelings.

My counsellor is really helping. Three months ago I wouldn't even have blinked at what he said.

Omg leave him

Then "listen" to your dad. Your "partner" is not worthy of you. He's not worthy of anyone.