Bf of 18 months makes no sense

[Taz14]

We've met all each others family. He's in my kids life and they both love each other dearly. We are in love with each other to. We don't live together so as don't wanna rushing things. His ex gf of still trying to get him back or the possibility is he's stringing her along. I mean..... Who in their right mind keeps chasing an ex for that long. She's desperate to find out who I am and what I look like.(an assumption I exist) That to me comes across like IM the affair. He's never said to her he has a gf. He just says to me he just replies to some of her "how are you texts" but yet deletes them. (I asked to see the convos and nothing there) I asked why he deletes them.. He just says he just does and that He doesn't think much into it..... Am I being paranoid?

Why on earth do you say "he has an answer for everything" when in fact he has no good answer for anything?

Why are you choosing this?

2 sets of 2 kids by 2 different mothers. One of whom he was even seeing. (kind of like he isn't seeing you) What kind of idiot gets a woman pregnant twice in 18 months when he's not with her (again )

So what happened about this prince and his first two kids?
And why the fuck were you anywhere near the court when you barely knew him? Let me guess... you encouraged him to fight for contact and he made a big show because of that?

You're being a fool, love.

Sorry, I wasn't clear.... I travelled with him to the court. She saw me in the queue going into the building. I DID NOT go into the actual court with them as I believe it's between mother and father NOT ME. She took her bf and both went in but that's her prerogative. I didn't suggest going to court he has done so that himself.. Once again, that is NOT my fight. I personally think it would be inappropriate for me to go into the actual court with him

Unless he has done something badly wrong to the children the courts normally grant contact in some form. Why doesn't he see his children?

The court situation only happened in June of this year btw.

So he has two babymommaz and he doesn't work and he manages to live alone. It's well for him.

I still think he's well dodgy. How is he supporting himself if he doesn't work? WHY doesn't he work? He's 'too busy' to see you, so what is he doing with himself all that time? I bet he'd be vague if you asked him, wave his hands and tell you you wouldn't understand, he's got a lot on, there's a lot of pressure on him so STOP ASKING QUESTIONS!

He's an ace bullshit merchant, I'll give him that. Sounds like the only thing he has got going for him.

Erm nothing you know about this man is true. Dodgy as hell.

Put aside (just for a moment) the running around after the ex, the dodgy phones, the lack of time and all that. Look at how the relationship makes you feel. Do you feel happy, valued and loved? Thought not.
You don't need a reason to dump him. Just not being happy is enough. And whatever you do, even if you don't dump him, please don't move in with him!

You are being really stupid here. He doesn't have a single 'good explanation'. He is super dodgy and isn't even managing to be a proper grown up.

What on earth are you thinking agonising over this ridiculous excuse of a human being?

Yeah, and why did it take him so long to go to court?

He sounds like a total dick.

Babymommaz sounds about right. Hope your contraception is sorted

I've read all your comments and completely agree. My confidence and self esteem ain't great and he knows this. I think he's used that to his advantage tbh. He even owes me money from Dec 2016 that he's not started playing me back. It really is a head in hands situation. I'm far from happy. I'm constantly confused with excuses he gives me and I've thought he was lazy months ago. I just thought I was being overly harsh. Of late I've being saying comments that are a bit curt and he's mentioned to me so I've apologised. Someone in this put..... "taking all the excuses etc out of it....... Are you happy?" that has stuck in my head. Thank you to all of you. You've made me believe in my thoughts where he's put doubt in my head. It's its sooooo messed up. He's NOT what I wanted out of a man and i deserve better. 18 months wasted but at least it's only 18 months. Thank you

I know this is going to sound harsh and I'm really sorry but... he describes one of the mothers of his children as an '18 month shag'?

How do you think he describes your relationship? 18 months of only seeing each other for a few hours a week?

Come on OP. Leaving aside all his so-called 'answers' to everything, are you happy? Because if you're not, you don't need his permission or validation to be unhappy with the situation. He doesn't get to tell you whether or not your unhappiness is allowed.

He's never said to her he has a gf. He just says to me he just replies to some of her "how are you texts" but yet deletes them

My birthday was July... He actually left me on my own to help her go round Costco to help with heavy lifting of shopping

Well thats your answer right there - you aren't the priority. She is. He can't even admit you exist, and hides conversations with his ex (I doubt she's an ex tho - she's a current) and likely sees YOU as the sidechick.

You are either a placeholder until he is with who he really wants to be with, or he's perfectly ok and happy with juggling the 2 of you. Especially as he can get away with it because despite blatant in your face evidence, you are still querying it.

Why is this joker even in your DCs lif? Do you have a DD and if so when she grows up - what would you say to her if she had a 'DP' who was still in contact with a woman he'd been with before, and deleted messages between them..furthermore wouldn't even admit to the other woman that she existed?! Thats what you need to think about and be honest about what your answer would be. Then apply it to yourself.

Its time to think about and know your worth.