I did it - please help me stay away and stay strong

[harlondon]

22 weeks pregnant
met the father of the baby 11 months ago
cheated on me in first 4 months - like a fool forgave him
ridiculed me not long after that - begged forgiveness etc

since then abuse got worse especially when I announced I am pg
broken toe, pushed shoved
last night was quite spectacular - he takes up whole bed
I tried to sneak into bed without waking him - he woke up and was seconds away from giving me a beating - ripped duvet off bed , shouted until I apologised spent all night saying sorry

now - all my stuff gone from shared flat
am with friends
please help me stay away
I feared he was going to kill me last night

help please

I know you don't want to report, but...

It's good to have a record of your injuries. Please go to your GP / midwife and get them to record your bruises. Take photos as well.

If you want to log it with the police you can as well, but the GP means you have a written record, in case he escalates or denies what he did.

Excellent advice thank you

Will ring my mid wife and ask her to record it
Why am I protecting this fool??

I am the fool

guys - if It tell midwife will she immediately contact social services ??

Ask her - she will want to know you've removed yourself from the situation I imagine.
GP is where I'd go.

She may tell SS - but if you are removed from danger they won't do anything (might visit you if they have some time/resources).
It will help your resolve as well.

Hi harlondon,

We're so sorry to hear you're going through this. You've had some support from lovely Mumsnetters on here, which we hope has helped a little.

We hope you don't mind, but when these threads are flagged to us we like to link to our web-guides, which we hope may be helpful. If you'd like to, please do feel free to take a look at our Domestic Violence page.

Very best wishes from all at MNHQ

Thanks again to all

harlondon

You're being really strong in staying away. Do be aware that he could make all sorts of promises to get you back under his control.

I'd urge you to report his violence to the police- if he does seem parental responsibility in the future it'd be much harder for you to insist on superivsed contact without a record of his violence.

If you register the child alone and you're not married he can't go on the birth certificate anyway, and wouldn't get automatic PR. I would give the baby your last name, not his.