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Relationships

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Original poster

Should I be creeped out?

28 replies

Anon171175 · 28/08/2017 16:32

I think I know the answer but, here we go.

I friended a guy on facebook who was in a group I was a member of. I deliberately did so as I liked the look of him and he was single (sad perhaps). I've been separated for a few months and suppose I was looking for some attention. Although not looking for anything serious.

Anyway, he messaged me and we had a brief chat mainly about a mutual tv programme. I then messaged him a few days later and almost straight away he was a bit 'crude'. Not about me but just in general. He talked about being on Tinder and some of the rude messages he'd had etc.

I found it a bit odd he didn't ask me anything about myself, it was just general chat.

He messaged me again a few days later and it was clear he wanted a bit 'dirty' talk. I'm not a prude and have no issue with it but, again, no questions about me or anything. I didn't mind at the time and chatted back but was a little bit more reserved that him.

Now in hindsight, I'm thinking this is all very weird and should not respond again. In some ways I'm a little insulted that he thinks I'm just after a hook up because I friended him.

My friends think its just harmless fun and I'm so out of touch with all this having been with the same person for 15 years.

OP posts:

AdalindSchade · 28/08/2017 16:34

It's not creepy really just boring. Engaging in sexting with a random isn't obligatory even in 2017

Lottey90 · 28/08/2017 16:36

Yeah that's what most men are like these days. You don't have to talk to him, bit you did say you didn't want anything serious. Surely he was just a hook up to yo too?

Original poster

Anon171175 · 28/08/2017 16:39

#Lottey90 well yes perhaps but I suppose I naively assumed someone would want to actually meet me first before starting that!! I don't want a relationship and yes s*x would be good, this just feels a strange way to go about it.
At least if you meet someone in a club/bar you have the chance to see if you connect and there's a spark.
I guess guys are different....

OP posts:

AdalindSchade · 28/08/2017 16:41

In my experience sexting never turns into actual fucking.
If you want some casual sex then keep the messaging flirty but not sexual

Original poster

Anon171175 · 28/08/2017 16:44

#AdalindSchade I'm clearly out of touch. Sounds about right though. My friend regularly sexted with a guy she never actually slept with, I think they both just enjoyed it.
Personally i'm not sure I see the point.......

OP posts:

Imonlyfuckinghuman · 28/08/2017 16:47

Actually not all men are like that. If your senses are telling you something is off - it probably is.

Just because he might think your after a quick shag, doesn't mean you are. In fact it speaks volumes about him that he hadn't even bothered to asked about you and just wants to do dick talk. My BIL is like this.

It's not the standard and these male creeps rely on vulnerable women to play back.

Don't touch him with a barge pole and move on. Your senses are spot on

ConcreteUnderpants · 28/08/2017 16:51

Enjoy the sexting if you feel comfortable and are having fun. But have no expectations whatsoever about forming any kind of relationship.
If you don't like it, unfriend and move on.

Original poster

Anon171175 · 28/08/2017 16:52

#Imonlyfuckinghuman yes this is what I'm starting to think. At first I was flatterered that he messaged me and I liked the attention.

I'm now thinking he's probably messaging loads of girls like this.
Ironic thing is, looking at his facebook profile and pictures, he does NOT look like the type!!

OP posts:

AdalindSchade · 28/08/2017 16:54

Sexting can be fun as long as you don't expecte it to ever be more than that

AdalindSchade · 28/08/2017 16:55

How does he not look like the type? Sexting is pretty mainstream these days, lots of types are at it

Original poster

Anon171175 · 28/08/2017 16:59

#AdalindSchade I know its a daft thing to say and can't really explain it. I'm clearly clueless here!!

OP posts:

Imonlyfuckinghuman · 28/08/2017 17:05

I'm now thinking he's probably messaging loads of girls like this

He will be or will have done. His expectations of women are sadly very low.

stumblymonkeyagain · 28/08/2017 17:06

My sexting turned into a husband!

Original poster

Anon171175 · 28/08/2017 17:08

#stumblymonkeyagain but had you at least met him first? This is definitely not what I'm after but its a nice happy ending for you

OP posts:

Aquamarine1029 · 28/08/2017 18:52

Your friend is dumb and this guy is a creep.

rosabug · 28/08/2017 20:12

I find sexting so boring. When I'm doing OLD. I make it clear at the first whiff I don't do it or photos. I used to in the early days then I realised it's an 'end' in itself for a lot of guys - nothing more. My final straw was when one morning I was pouring milk on my cornflakes and bing - a photo of a great big cock - 8.00 in the bloody morning. I also find the not asking questions about me a big red flag.

Beentherelefthimgotthetshirt · 28/08/2017 20:20

I don't sext if I'm in relationship hunting mode as it does help to weed out the time wasters. There are great guys who like to message without it descending into filth. You just have to be patient and hard nosed to find them!

On the other hand if I'm feeling casual then sexting can be a laugh.

Original poster

Anon171175 · 28/08/2017 20:26

No cock pics or anything thank god. Yes it's the not asking questions that bothers me most. I don't want a relationship but would rather have at least met someone a few times b4 the dirty talk and then only if it's obviously mutual.

OP posts:

Original poster

Anon171175 · 28/08/2017 20:28

#rosabug no one needs a cock pic at breakfast!!

OP posts:

Olympiathequeen · 28/08/2017 20:30

Just block him in all areas. Not worth the hassle.

rosabug · 28/08/2017 20:43

Anon171175 - It was a very big cock. I also had a guy who sent me tons of consecutive pics of his tool from a million different angles. What is it with men and their friend downstairs! They are always such crappy pics as well.

Original poster

Anon171175 · 28/08/2017 21:00

#rosabug I just don't get it. Fair enough if you actually ask for them. No-one needs to see that in my opinion and I don't know any of my friends that would like it. They would have a good laugh though.

OP posts:

rosabug · 28/08/2017 21:32

anon - I don't know - something primitive about display or something. like baboons and their bums.

Original poster

Anon171175 · 28/08/2017 21:57

Haha

OP posts:

LesisMiserable · 28/08/2017 22:14

But you friended him (because he was single) without knowing he so maybe he presumed you're a pretty forward woman (nowt wrong with that) and so has cut to the chase accordingly ?

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