Please can anyone help me move on from this slightly ridiculous situation. It's going round and round in my head and I feel totally stuck with it all.
Basically, I'm divorced, single and last year came close to having an affair at work with a (married) colleague. He and I had always got on well, he was always very supportive to me at work and I'd always found him very attractive, but I knew he was married so that was that. There was chemistry, I liked him as a person but I didn't think of him in that way. I don't go for married men. Anyway, fast forward to last autumn and this guy - I'll call him A - told me that he'd separated from his wife. He'd also moved out from their house but they were having counselling apparently. Over the next couple of months, we grew a bit closer and we went out a few times, usually work related. We kissed, but didn't sleep together, it didn't get that far. He held back a bit and he didn't try to get me into bed. But - god, how I liked him. I really really fell for him in all honesty and was more sexually attracted to him than anyone I've ever met. As I didn't know where I stood though, I didn't really make the strength of my feelings obvious to him. We had a very honest chat one evening when I quizzed him about his marriage, and he was honest about the fact he was still intertwined so I decided to cool things. Anyway, just after Xmas, it was clear he was trying to work things out with his wife and they ended up buying a new house together. That was that, I thought. I was secretly disappointed but was happy for him and accepted it.
However, about a month ago, a female colleague of mine at work, who I know quite well - let's call her B - told me that he'd propositioned her when they went out on a works do. Everyone was pretty drunk apparently but he'd came on to her, and had been very lovely with her. B has already had an affair with another senior colleague (man A doesn't know about this) and she's told me that she's very attracted to A, and is interested in sleeping with him. He told her his marriage is a mess, that he and his wife are only together for the kids, apparently she had a fling. He'd told me similar things but not the fling. Anyway I've wondered whether his play for her was true or not but since then I've noticed them disappearing into meeting rooms together at work and having lots of little chats. As B sits opposite me this is hard to avoid and I just feel very uncomfortable with it all. Basically, the news has hit me really hard - it's one thing to think he's back with his wife but to hear that he came on to my colleague is different, and I did really like him. I'm jealous I suppose but equally, he appears to be a player so no good. Another issue is that I was open with B about my 'friendship' with man A, mainly as the chemistry was pretty obvious and she knew how I felt about him but now it looks as if they might have an affair. Since then, our friendship has really cooled, on her part not mine, which I also feel a bit upset about. I trusted her with some quite private stuff and I feel like she's totally dropped me to distance herself from me, presumably as she feels guilty. So I've lost what I thought was a good female friendship in a very male dominated environment, and A has also cooled towards me, when I thought we were genuinely friends ( I worked hard to maintain a good working relationship despite the attraction bit etc). It all feels really crap and It's affecting me at work. I'm even thinking of leaving as it's making me miserable and paranoid. However, I have no claim over A at all, and they are both obviously free to do what they want.
Please anyone tell me how to move on from it and feel better about it all!