Just after some advice from anyone who has managed it. Please.
I've had nearly 9 years of the abusive controlling knob and I've had enough. We have 5 children together. I was preparing to leave and told him a few home truths about his behaviour. He is emotionally abusive, I dread him coming in the house, I look forward to him going out or to work, I'm scared of his moods, his silent treatment. The lot. I cried. A lot. He cried also and was very apologetic and promised to try to change as long as I helped him by pointing out what he does wrong.
He denied ever stopping me from working, he denied alienating me from family and friends, he denies needing professional help.
So fast forward a couple of weeks of him trying. And jobs have been done round the house, children have been played with instead of ignored.
He is desperate for attention off me. I just don't want to give it. I don't want to cuddle or kiss him. I don't want to have sex. I don't even want to sleep in the same bed. I woke up yesterday morning to him grabbing my boob then getting stroppy when I made him stop (the toddler was lay between us).
Anyway, last night I went to bed early as have been under the weather for a fortnight. He followed me to say he's making an effort and now it's my turn to try harder. He "thrives with affection" and I'm not giving him enough. He needs the kissing and cuddling and odd grope to get him through the day and apparently I'm a cold human being. This is all his words. So I know this can't go on. I can't live with this. I'm exhausted.
So how do I get out? Preferably without a massive fallout if that's at all possible. I have children's centres aware of situation and a visit from a social worker last week. That was a lovely experience. He flat refused to speak to her at first. But she hinted we need a plan to get him out of the house and is coming back next week to see me alone.
Please help. I'm desperate.