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Original poster

Friend still bringing up drunken night out from 20 years ago

38 replies

CruCru · 15/08/2017 06:57

A friend of my husband and his wife come to stay with us for a few days about once a year. We met on a night out where I got horribly drunk (but not mean or abusive, just plastered).

Every time I see my friend's wife, she brings up things I did or said that night. I'm starting to dread seeing her. I was 22 when we met and am now over 40.

It's possible that I am being over sensitive but I can't imagine still talking about how drunk someone was years and years later. I should probably say something like "You know, you bring up that night every time I see you" (in fact, I may have said something similar in the past).

I've pointed out to my husband that she does this but he thought it was funny and not a particularly big deal (which I suppose it isn't).

OP posts:
Nellyphants · 15/08/2017 07:00

I have a friend like this. Her stories have grown legs over the years too. I say you said that before, then you said that before many many many times. Another drink? She's shut up now

AllTheWittyNamesAreGone · 15/08/2017 07:02

I'd eye roll and cut her off saying yes but that was 20 years ago, we can stop bringing it up now, thanks.

TheMasterNotMargarita · 15/08/2017 07:04

How tedious.
I would say something.
"I suppose you must've really enjoyed that night seeing as you keep on bringing it up. You obviously don't get out often. I wouldnt recall it at all if you didnt keep on about it."

TheNaze73 · 15/08/2017 07:24

It was probably their last decent night out. Nelly's approach is spot on

Mummyoflittledragon · 15/08/2017 07:31

She sounds jealous of you and is knocking you down to make her feel better about herself. I'd have a ready made response for it. "That was almost a quarter of a century ago. The way you go on about it, you'd have thought I'd won the hundred meters at the olympics. Can I get you anything else to eat?"

user1494187262 · 15/08/2017 07:34

Is she related to me?
We bring up stuff from years ago at every get together. It's funny.
Learning to laugh at yourself is good.

sparechange · 15/08/2017 07:40

I'd say something a bit passive aggressive like 'gosh, I'm so sorry. I didn't realise you don't go out anymore. Is it DH not wanting to? Or a money problem? I completely now understand why you want to relive our old lives when you aren't able to go out now' and give her a head tilt.

And then every time they bring it up, you need to do give her hand a little squeeze and say 'don't you worry. We will find a way to get you on a night out soon. You don't have to live in the past' and mutter 'you poor thing' under your breath

NancyJoan · 15/08/2017 07:41

She wants to belittle you, it's mean.

LeninaCrowne · 15/08/2017 07:57

Are you and your DH ever invited to stay with them?

CheeseCakeSunflowers · 15/08/2017 07:58

This reminds me of having to listen to my Dm talking about my untidy teenage bedroom when I was in my 40's.

Twitchingdog · 15/08/2017 09:12

I went to very church type wouldn't say poo to goose type person funeral . Her sister in law got up and told the story of one time she got drunk in 50 years .

KungFuPandaWorksOut16 · 15/08/2017 09:49

Did you do or say something funny when you was drunk?

Is what she is saying actually true or has the story spiralled.

So it was originally
You fell down the stairs whilst dancing to YMCA

And it is now
You was dancing to YMCA, tripped and fell into an elderly grandma and dropped her to the floor, then stumbled some more and fell down the stairs but you took everybody out on the stairs on your way down.

I'm the person when walking down memory lane will bring up stupid things but I wouldn't do it everytime I meet them.
My family at Christmas every year will bring up the time I decided at the age of 8 to cut my own hair. I absolutely butchered it, it was that bad no hairdresser could correct it. Imagine a bowl cut with random long bits and extreme layers on one side and on the other side i decided to do my hair in 3 "sections". One part was my natural length, second I wapped half my hair off and the third bit I literally cut it all off leaving tiny bits of hair 🙈

They retell that story and end with " You think that would have put KungFu off hairdressing, but no here she is as a hairdresser running her own salon. When you going to recreate the hairstyle KungFu insert stupid over the top laugh"

OhDearToby · 15/08/2017 09:55

God, that must be so annoying.

It seems to normally be a family thing to do. My mum will bring up my teenage years at any opportunity. I wasn't even that bad. No drinking, sneaking out, parties, sex or drugs. Just a few teenage strops but the way she goes on (and on and on) about it it sounds like I gave them hell! Strangely they don't do the same with my eldest sister who did do all the drugs, drinking, sneaking out and teenage pregnancy.

Farfromtheusual · 15/08/2017 09:56

wouldn't say poo to goose 😂

KungFuPandaWorksOut16 · 15/08/2017 09:57

I realised my description wasn't that great so I did a diagram Grin

Friend still bringing up drunken night out from 20 years ago
Mesgegra · 15/08/2017 10:05

I've a friend who always goes on about how she is ''scared'' of me. What it means is she used to turn up an hour late, before mobiles, and if I was upset and told her she didn't like it, turned it in to her being afraid. YEARS later, whenever we meet she arrives still late, huffing and puffing telling me that she was driving at 200k breaking ever speed limit because she was scared of being late to meet me. I didn't used to know what to say. I had to say ''oh it's fine that you're an hour late'' or I'd be ''still scary''. ONe day I snapped and said, ''be late, be on time but don't blame me or tell me you're scared of me because you wouldn't say that to a client!"

She's still late but at least now she doesn't arrive telling me how afraid she is of my reaction to her lateness.

MissBabbs · 15/08/2017 10:06

Well come back with what happened the next day --
You were just getting the bus to work and this poor lady collapsed on the pavement, thankfully you had a triple gold star from St. John's ambulance and recussitated her. You also v kindly accompanied her to a and e. The doctor there wS Australian , v good looking. After lady was admitted he grabbed you as you left the hospital to ask you out on a date. You went to this fab little restaurant ....................... and on and on.
I don't think she'll bring it up again.

PantPlot · 15/08/2017 10:14

Gaslight the caah

"Yeah it was so funny, and then there was that next time when YOU were arseholed- you were trying to act all sober but your eyes were all over the shop remember for aaages afterwards we called you Rolling Eyes Rhonda! oh that was so funny... and when you FARTED and just carried on like nothing had happened!

Original poster
CruCru · 15/08/2017 10:15

Thanks all, you've made me feel much better. To be honest, I can't remember all of that night (it being 20 years ago) but know that I was drunk.

OP posts:
NotJustThreeSmallWords · 15/08/2017 10:23

I've got a friend like this. I dread our nights out, it's so tedious Hmm

hedgebitch · 15/08/2017 10:29

I've got a friend who still likes to recount the time I got plastered and sat on the pavement wailing that nobody wanted to fuck me. WE WERE NINETEEN. I feel your pain OP.

Whatthefucknameisntalreadytake · 15/08/2017 10:29

I had some friends who did this, every get together they'd bring up an incident from years ago where I behaved badly, and have a good laugh about it. They meant no harm but it made me feel quite shit. So I explained that I didn't find find it funny and asked if they could stop bringing it up, and because they are decent people and good friends they stopped. Maybe worth having a direct conversation about how it makes you feel?

Fluckle · 15/08/2017 10:31

I had a 'friend' who used to do this to me. Brought up a 'liaison' I had with someone unsuitable every time I saw her, including when my husband and kids were present (DH knew all about it so wasn't a big deal, just bit embarrassing for me) . In the end I realised it wasn't her trying to be funny, it was her trying to belittle me, as a PP said.

Eventually I just said " Why do you keep bringing this up? It happened years ago, why are you doing it?" and she muttered some pathetic response. That was there last time I saw her. I realised that she was either profoundly jealous of me (god knows why) or actually a bit unhinged. Either way she certainly wasn't a friend so I cut contact.

Interestingly there's an event coming up I think she'll be at it. If she tries this same stunt again she will be getting a very different response. I'm not the only one with skeletons in my closet....

GabsAlot · 15/08/2017 10:40

sometimes i'll bring up same incident to a friend but its usually both of us were drunk or somthing similar

she sounds a bit sad and prob doesnt go out much

QuimReaper · 15/08/2017 10:52

Oh dear, I have a similar thing. I went on holiday with a friend whom I love dearly, and we had an amusing hungover episode in a hotel room after a night out. It was hilarious at the time and we laughed about it for ages.

The thing is, I've always suspected it probably isn't that funny if you weren't actually there, and by this point everyone we know has heard the story, because it was TEN YEARS AGO.

My heart sinks whenever I hear her drifting towards the topic, because she always does the same thing: "oh remember that morning Quim -
go on, you tell the story, you tell it so much better than I do" Confused which I absolutely don't. I've never managed to find a way out of it without looking like a total stick in the mud, but each retelling gets more awkward and apologetic, particularly because I can usually remember the exact same moment happening with the exact same people some time earlier (although evidently she can't).

It's one thing having to hear a story which ran out of steam a decade ago, but having to actually be the one to tell it...

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