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Original poster

Friend still bringing up drunken night out from 20 years ago

38 replies

CruCru · 15/08/2017 06:57

A friend of my husband and his wife come to stay with us for a few days about once a year. We met on a night out where I got horribly drunk (but not mean or abusive, just plastered).

Every time I see my friend's wife, she brings up things I did or said that night. I'm starting to dread seeing her. I was 22 when we met and am now over 40.

It's possible that I am being over sensitive but I can't imagine still talking about how drunk someone was years and years later. I should probably say something like "You know, you bring up that night every time I see you" (in fact, I may have said something similar in the past).

I've pointed out to my husband that she does this but he thought it was funny and not a particularly big deal (which I suppose it isn't).

OP posts:

QuimReaper · 15/08/2017 10:57

Incidentally I agree with a PP that in your case the wife probably hasn't been on another night out in 20 years!

As suggested upthread I'd go with a slightly-barbed but generally lighthearted "goodness Jane, I feel like you bring that up every single time we meet - you do realise it was almost a quarter of a century ago, don't you?" in jocular tones. I think she'll feel a bit of a saddo if you put it like that, like she's had no adventures worth reporting in the intervening two decades (which it appears she hasn't).

StormTreader · 15/08/2017 11:14

"oh remember that morning Quim -go on, you tell the story, you tell it so much better than I do"

"Haha, I hope we can find something more interesting to talk about than a random night out 10 years ago, honestly, you make it sound like we never go out anywhere!"

alittlequinnie · 15/08/2017 11:21

Oh yes - I feel your pain.

My DM constantly HAS to tell everybody that she meets about three things:

When I was about 5 I decided to take the cat for a walk in the way you do with a dog - I didn't have a lead as we didn't have a dog so thought I would use the skipping rope instead. Cat didn't like it, did a runner, jumped over the fence and was hanging by the neck. I shat myself and went running in to tell my Mum who came out and disentangled the cat and slapped my legs. I was mortified at events but my DM really enjoys trotting the story out at every opportunity - "do you remember when ALittle strangled the cat?"

About a year later (there's a cat theme running here) so still 5-6 or so and very little - my DF told me that the cat needs whiskers to balance - in my tiny little mind I figured that if you cut the cats whiskers off she would fall over on one side - the premise of this fascinated me so much that I decided to cut one side of the cat's whiskers off and see if she fell over - she didn't but I got another set of slapped legs and the next 40 years or so of - "do you remember when "ALittle" cut the cat's whiskers off"?

I purchased sweets for my DM and DF one Christmas and stashed them away in my wardrobe to gift on the big day - only trouble was it was only about September and there was NO WAY I was going to last knowing those scrummy yummy treats were in there - so I took the cellophane wrappers off and ate about 1/2 of the contents of each box - I gave them to DM and DF on Christmas day but fate had other ideas for me and that year my DF gave my DM some kitchen scales (I know - the romance) - que my DM weighing EVERYTHING in the house including the sweets which exposed me as a secret sweetie eater. My DM LOVES to tell this story too -

I actually remember the three events quite differently to her as in why was I left unattended with scissors and a skipping rope at 5? Also, remember Christmas day being ruined and crying my eyes out at the passive aggressive way my DM handled my eating the sweets in advance.

I think that people like this have nothing exciting going on in their own lives and try to live through other people - they can't be telling stories of their own activities so just have to trot out the only things they know - again and again!

Sorry - this is so long - got a bit carried away there (by the way I have a cat now and it has a full set of whiskers and has never been strangled with a skipping rope!!!)

kennypppppppp · 15/08/2017 11:43

I had a friend like that until it got to a point and I said to her that it really upset me that she kept bringing up xyz story every time I saw her. She was mortified that she upset me and I,m bloody thrilled I said something. She thought I thought it was funny, whereas in fact she made me feel like shit.

She was embarrassed but I didn't care at all. She was making me feel like crap. Is there a point that you could speak to your friend about it. Bloody nightmare situation and so immature of her to keep bringing it up all the time.

Jengnr · 15/08/2017 12:12

I think I'd get wankered the next time I saw her. She isn't going to stop so you might as well give her some fresh material :)

QuimReaper · 15/08/2017 12:14

I figured that if you cut the cats whiskers off she would fall over on one side - the premise of this fascinated me so much that I decided to cut one side of the cat's whiskers off and see if she fell over

I know it's really no laughing matter and all that but I am absolutely snorting at this

Vonklump · 15/08/2017 12:19

I'm glad it's not just me that has friends like this. They retell a story, it grows legs where the arms used to be, friend either comes out really cool or blameless in the story, and I look accordingly like a fuckwit or a sad twat, and each time it gets more exaggerated.

Drives me mental.
Inspired by various comments upthread I'm going to make a comeback comment next time.

LoisWilkersonsLastNerve · 15/08/2017 12:23

Yes I have a friend like this, sadly I keep her at arms length she likes embarrassing me with uni stories, its so tempting to do the same back, she was no angel either ffs. I haven't though....yet.

HouseworkIsASin10 · 15/08/2017 12:28

Do you laugh it off and brazen it out? If she sees you squirming then that could be what is encouraging her to keep bringing it up.

She is not a friend in that case and I certainly wouldn't have her staying in my house is she just wanted to mock me.

hellswelshy · 15/08/2017 12:30

I had a friend like this. It was like she couldn't let go of my past mistakes/embarrassing moments. I think maybe it made her feel better! We aren't friends now...

BorisTrumpsHair · 15/08/2017 12:33

some people are dicks

TheGirlOnTheLanding · 15/08/2017 12:55

Can't you just say 'For goodness sake, not this again? It's ancient history, you really need to get some new material.' And then change the subject? Guaranteed if you're bored hearing it, her DH and yours probably are too (unless they enjoy you squirming, which doesn't reflect well on them.)

AndTheBandPlayedOn · 15/08/2017 13:55

What hellswelshy said:
I had a friend like this. It was like she couldn't let go of my past mistakes/embarrassing moments. I think maybe it made her feel better! We aren't friends now...
Except it was my sister.

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