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Original poster

Was he trying to swindle me?

77 replies

Converseallstar · 10/08/2017 08:54

DP hands me over the housekeeping money (his half) every Friday which is £140, he also owed me £100 from something else. I told him he could pay me half of £100 today (£50) and half next week so it doesn't leave him broke. He happily agreed.

So this morning he goes to the cash machine (I'm waiting in the car as I drive him to work every morning), gets back in the car and puts the money directly into my pocket (no biggie as I'm notorious for leaving cash on show around the car) and I respond with "thank you babe" and he replies "ok I owe you £50 now, no problem" I replied. As we are driving down the road I had a thought, the thought was he could be incredibly skint this week, he works very hard and I'm a strong believer in the 'reward system' let's say, so I offer him back £20 of the money he just gave to me, I say "here, take that and pay me the rest over the next coming weeks" (rest of the £100 he owes me) and he says "no no" and gently pushes my hand back towards me as if to say keep the money. Two seconds later, now I can't recall the exact way it was said or the words said but he basically said he gave me £10 short of the £50 he was giving me, he "didn't draw enough out" was his words.

Now this was news to me as he hadn't mentioned anything about giving me only £40, so I asked him and his response was "I didn't want to let you down as I said I was giving you £50" 🤔 hmm...

My thoughts are, did he start to feel bad that he tried to short me when I offered him some money back so confessed? Or am I over thinking? I never count the money and I think he knows that because I trust him. Why would you draw short out the bank to begin with? He's usually on top of his finances with me.

What do you think ladies & gents?

Sorry to drip feed just trying to give you the whole scenario.

[Post edited by MNHQ]

OP posts:
Mrsjohnmurphy · 10/08/2017 09:45

So he tried to swindle you for basically a tenner Confused why would he do that and why would you put up with that

Mrsjohnmurphy · 10/08/2017 09:46

People are either reliable and trustworthy or not. He is not.

golfin · 10/08/2017 09:49

He didn't actually owe you the money though, he was helping you out.

Your screen breaking is your expense really, if he's broke why are you letting him pay half?

hatsoncats · 10/08/2017 09:51

You trusted him to be honest.
He tried to deceive you.
Don't trust him again.

Can you live like that? I couldn't.

Berthatydfil · 10/08/2017 09:52

Sorry if I misunderstood but am I correct in thinking that the money he "owes" you is really a gift from him to contribute to the cost of replacing your phone screen.?
If I'm correct that does put a different light on it for me as he doesn't have to pay you this money at all as it's not a debt to repay money you gave him or expenditure you've paid on his behalf - it's a gift he was planning to give you in 2 instalments. I'm wondering if he had second thoughts and decided to reduce the gift by £10. If so it's possibly an underhanded way of going about it but he is entitled to have second thoughts about the gift if perhaps he's thought he's leaving himself short by doing it.

Original poster
Converseallstar · 10/08/2017 09:54

Mrsjohnmurphy no idea, it's very out of character.

golfin I understand that and if he couldn't afford it I would take it. I was just showing him there's no pressure because he is a proud man and sticks to his word.

OP posts:
Original poster
Converseallstar · 10/08/2017 09:55

Wouldn't*

OP posts:
Original poster
Converseallstar · 10/08/2017 09:56

Berthatydfil yes he is entitled and that's absolutely fine, I wouldn't care, its how he went about it

OP posts:
BaronessBomburst · 10/08/2017 10:00

So he was trying to impress you by offering to pay towards your phone screen, but then knowingly gave you less than he'd promised and tried to hide it. He wants the glory and the praise but without carrying through in the act.
A) it's all about him and how he wants to appear.

B) he's a liar and can't be trusted.

Alarm bells would be ringing for me too. :(

user1499333856 · 10/08/2017 10:07

Oh I wouldn't like that.

Would be casually counting it from now on. Don't accept money from him when you are in a rush or can't count it without making it a big deal.

golfin · 10/08/2017 10:08

He obviously couldn't afford to pay what he'd promised, so opted for the sneaky option, which is worrying. He did feel guilty though and fessed up. His initial dishonesty rings very small warning bells.

BewareOfDragons · 10/08/2017 10:17

Wait. He was gifting you money to fix your phone screen on an urgent basis because you wanted it fixed right away.

And he is now trying to give you the money towards your phone screen in installments that don't leave him completely broke...

Yes, he should have said he only had £40 towards it today, but I think you're blowing it out of proportion ... this is far from 'cheating' you (and that is the correct term, by the way, not the stereotyped-basis word you have used in your post).

kingjofferyworksintescos · 10/08/2017 10:24

What bewareofdragons said

Original poster
Converseallstar · 10/08/2017 10:26

user1499333856 I will be doing.

BewareOfDragons no he wasn't gifting it me on an urgent basis, I paid it myself last week and he said he would give it me back this week but I said no, give it me in bits if it's easier. Can I just say he earns more than me and this was supposed to be part of a gift. We are all from different parts of the country and we use different words.

I have also just spoken when him on the phone and brought the matter up again. He assures me it wasn't done on purpose. He said its no biggie I was going to give it you later. I'll reiterate again... THIS HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH MONEY! If he couldn't afford it he shouldn't offer, when he did offer the installments I did say just give it me as and when you can afford it because you may need it for something and he assured me he could afford it.

OP posts:
Berthatydfil · 10/08/2017 10:34

Ok I think he was underhand in what he did as the reason why he was giving you the £100 is immaterial.

I do think he tried to trick you

(perhaps he felt he was paying too much towards your phone or regretted offering the gift, which is a little better than trying to stitch you up over a real debt)

but then felt guilty.

ImperialBlether · 10/08/2017 10:38

Yes, he was trying to cheat you. He knows you don't place a high value on money so you're not going to check what he's given you and you'd probably believe you'd lost £10 or spent it and forgotten about it.

I always think that people never get caught the first time they do things, so I would assume he'd done something similar before.

He'd lose my self-respect, to be honest.

Original poster
Converseallstar · 10/08/2017 10:39

I also agree he did try and trick me. I'll be more vigilant in the future.

Thing is with me though from an outsider's pov it could look harmless but because I've been given for a mug from so many people I now live with a suspicious mind

OP posts:
Original poster
Converseallstar · 10/08/2017 10:39

Taken for*

OP posts:
Original poster
Converseallstar · 10/08/2017 10:42

He said on the phone not long ago, that he withdrew X amount from bank and then went into the shop to get his dinners for work and overspent. That's the reason as to why he was short.

OP posts:
OfficerVanHalen · 10/08/2017 10:44

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

OfficerVanHalen · 10/08/2017 10:44

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
Converseallstar · 10/08/2017 10:49

Nope my fault, I couldn't afford all the £217 so as part of a gift he offered to pay some for me.

I know it isn't 😄 I wasn't bothered about the £17

OP posts:
catiinboots · 10/08/2017 11:04

£217 to fix a screen??!!

Grooves · 10/08/2017 11:25

How close are you with regards to how you address issues? If you feel you can talk to him, I'd talk to him about it.

Nainer123 · 10/08/2017 13:29

Yep I agree with bewareofdragons. You got your screen fixed and he's giving you money, it was 10 pound short, he doesn't owe you it he's gifting it to You. i think you're looking way too much into it, unless there is another reason behind your suspicion e.g. past of lying about money ECT . If not then I think you should think we'll I have 40 pound more than I did this morning!

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