I am reaching out for some 3rd party advice on my current situation.
My boyfriend and I have been together for nearly 5 years. I am currently 33 and he is 43. We both love one another and want to grow old together, but we are at an impasse when it comes to having a baby. He has 2 children (ages 20 & 17) and had a vasectomy after baby #2.
Before we made our relationship official, I made it clear that having children was important and a deal breaker for me and that if it wasn't something that he wanted, that he need not get involved.
2 years into our relationship we agreed to start our family. Appointments with the fertility clinic were made and we were referred to a urologist to determine if a vasectomy reversal was the right option or if we should move directly to IVF. We went to that appointment and his surgery was scheduled for the fall of 2016. He was acting excited about having a baby. We were looking at houses, discussing things for the baby room and even talking about baby names. As his appointment neared, he started getting cold feet and panicking.
We had numerous counselling sessions in regards to our situation and our counsellor suggested a 2 week no contact break to see if he could work through his feelings and then we would reconnect at a counselling appointment after that time. It was super hard but I was willing to give it a go. After the 2 week no contact break, he was broken and still undecided on whether or not have children.
I'm not 100% sure how it was decided but after that night, we separated. We would talk now and then but nothing was ever resolved (he is not the greatest at communicating). I got the impression that it wouldn't change and that things were over.
Fast forward to February 2017. I had planned a solo trip to start the healing process and move on after being crushed. At that point, he told me that he was still working through his feelings in hopes that he would be able to make a decision to have a baby so that we can be together. At that point, I felt that I needed to wait for him. How could I possibly move on from the man I love knowing that he was working on his issues so that we can be together?
It is now August 2017, he is still going to counselling and he and I still have no resolve as far as a baby goes. We see one another and talk but we are no longer living together and haven't been intimate since fall 2016.
He has indicated that he wants to want to have a baby so that he and I can be together and move forward. He has indicated that he wants to come home but he can't until he is on board with having a baby with me.
His counsellor has suggested visualization but he is having trouble envisioning the baby aspect of our future. He can see him and I together but he can't seem to fit a baby into that future.
I am hurting inside because I love him so much and I want us to move forward so I am grasping at any help and advice that I can get.
Please help with any advice on how I can help him see that our future with a baby will be a good one. Is there anything I can do to help him get on board with wanting a baby? Help me with advice on if I am wasting my time waiting for the man I love to make a decision. 
Any youtube links for advice or visualization are appreciated as well.