Is it OK to do 'it' with a baby in the room?

[12yeargap]

Seriously - do/should you have sex - quietly and discreetly - with a (small, sleeping) baby in the room in a cot or moses basket? I honestly don't know if this is completely normal, or utterly-depraved-call-social-services behaviour. But it's nearly six weeks soon since baby was born, so I'd sort of like an opinion on this before the situation arises...thanks.

I personally couldnt do it with anyone else in the room even if that person is a sleeping baby. No way. I would just imagine my mum and dad doing it with me present! (Why?? Did I have to give myself that mental picture?? Anyone got the number of a good therapist???? )

euwwww minky biscuit! That changes everything! No, its wrong, definately!!!!

I used to say no no no! As the opportunity doesn't arise that often, with dd ever present, we tend to take our chances when they come!

Can't fully relax, though.

Yes, yes , yes it is totally natural.

Also ......

We went to Florida when ds was 2.

He was in a cotbed in the same room as us.

What difference does it make if is a baby in the room, fast asleep, or a two year old ?

Are you suggesting that a loving couple, should not have sex, whilst on the most fantastic 2 week holiday in Florida ?

No. Surely not.

If asleep I can't see any problems with it. And explore the rest of your house as well if you find it a bit uncomfortable with the LO so close by.

i find it funny that people find it so wrong/shocking.its nature-what made your little one!

but when is it not ok to do it with the kids in your room? i went on holiday with my parents when i was 10, sister was 15. we stayed in a family room. i definitely would not have wanted to wake up to that!

Yes I am suggesting you (or rather I) shouldn't have sex with a person in the room. What others do is personal choice. What age would they be before you stopped having sex in the room with them out of interest?

Well DD is almost 5yo and I wouldn't now.

It is totally normal to have sex with a sleeping baby in the room. Since the guidance is to keep your baby in your room for at least 6 months, parents would be hard pushed not to have sex in bed for that length of time, unless you want the excitement of alternate places but could you be bothered with a newborn?

It's perfectly normal and whilst I think most of us would prefer to have the room to ourselves, if it's the difference between a jolly good shag or not, then go for it. Even if your baby can see across the room to your bed, s/he won't have a clue about what you're doing. You can always hang a blanket over the edge of the cot for the duration, if it makes you feel better. Have a good time

Have done in the past when they were asleep but maybe about twice as it was very offputting, you can't really nejoy yourself.

DD1 coslept until 15 months so we used to go into the spare room and use the futon, in fact DD2 was made there , DD2 coslept until 12 months too so we used to grab a duvet and go downstairs.

I don't think theres anything wrong with it presonally, I do have one friend who used to do it when her son was crawling around in the same room, I know he wouldn't have a clue but yuck and she used to say she always did it doggy style so she could keep an eye on him at the same time

sweetkitty pmsl at your considerate friend.

yes, absolutely! Sex is the most natural thing in the world. Your Lo would not be here if you did not do it! Once LO gets older and starts noticing/asking questions (!) then be more discrete, but a young baby does not know, does not care, unless you disturb your LO!

I think it is more likely to create hang-ups/tension/issues if you feel it is something to be embarrassed about/hide/not do if your baby is around, and means that with such a young LO, you both may get sexually frustrated. That said it took us 8 weeks before I was ready to do it, and we woke her up! (she yelled, like saying be quiet will you!)

BTW - my BIL still has daughter in their bedroom, his wife just had another baby, so they must have been too, and DD is 4! She has not issues/hangups/weird behaviours as a result

totally agreee pavlovthecat.

of course there is nothing wrong with it. its quite difficult to get in the mood to, though, when you can see/hear the baby snuffling in the cot...

i remember exclaiming (when dd2 was about 3 months) "oh look dh! shes sucking her thumb!" what a mood killer that was

also i remember being on top, and dd1 crawled into the room, dh threw me off and i swear i went 6 foot in the air, landing 3 mtrs or so from the bed...

pmsl sweetkitty - have never heard of anyone adopting the position for optimum childcare before.

BTW, I wonder how many MNers have also uttered the immortal line "I'm coming" when older dc call out for you just as you're in the midst of a quickie?!!

Yes! Perfectly fine!

That said, before being a mum I couldn't do it with the dog in the room either and by the same token he had no idea what was going on so perhaps its just me!!

lol minkybiscuit

minky, thats a different matter

the dog may decide to join in...

Euuuwwww nailpolish

Again...thanks for that mental picture nailpolish!!!!! I did try to once and he wandered in and sat at the end with a quizical cock-eared expression on his face so I had to stop! (I'm referring to the dog by the way!)