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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Stories of marriage and a family happening quickly when youre in 30s...?

61 replies

user1499590110 · 05/08/2017 09:54

In recent months i have begun to panic a lot about being single. i am totally ok on my own, and if anything i am probably too picky with men. but my concern is this: i'm early thirties. if i meet someone, date, get engaged, married, etc etc, all this could take years before we get round to the family bit. all, literally all, my friends have been with partners for a minimum of 5 years by now.

any stories of it happening quickly? i feel i will always have missed out on that lengthy pre-marriage relationship, because those years in my twenties have already gone and i havent met anyone significant to have started building that relationship with.

OP posts:
Ginfernal · 05/08/2017 09:58

By the time I'd been with OH for 2 years, we were 6 months married with a 4 month old!

user1499590110 · 05/08/2017 10:00

that's a lovely story!! do you mind me asking how old you were at the time and where you met? :)

OP posts:
SarahJonesS · 05/08/2017 10:00

Met DP at 30 (online). I'm now 35 and have a 2 year old.

Swynwraig · 05/08/2017 10:01

Yes, I met DH at 35, engaged at 36, married and pregnant at 39 - I had all but accepted a single life was my future. You never know what is around the corner...

Nibletmum · 05/08/2017 10:04

I met my other half at 30 through online dating. Moved together after 2 weeks. Married and 32 and now we have a 2 year old and a 7 week old! It'll happen Smile

headinhands · 05/08/2017 10:06

Met dp just after 30th. By 35th was married with a toddler and a baby.

spinassienne · 05/08/2017 10:11

Met OLD when I was 36, baby and wedding at 39, baby 2 at 41. In my experience in your late thirties you know your own mind better so you don't muck around' you get on with it if it's right.

Xanadu44 · 05/08/2017 10:18

Met online at 32 (nearly 33) married at 34 and 6 weeks ago had my baby a few days after turning 36.

Dreams16 · 05/08/2017 10:22

Hi op I met my now DH when I was 27 we got engaged the following year married last summer and now have our DS born this year so things do move fast when you find the right person I found that the minute I stopped worrying about whether or not I'd meet someone etc it happened I know it's daft to say but it is true you really do meet someone when you least expect it to happen and when everything feels right it just falls into place Smile

user1499590110 · 05/08/2017 10:23

those who met online, did you meet many people before meeting your DH? i have met so many over the last year and it just hasnt happened!

OP posts:
ChristianGreysAnatomy · 05/08/2017 10:24

My friend met her dh, after many disastrous relationships, at a wedding, aged 35 ish. Engaged 4 months later. Now have two kids and are v happy. He is the last person I would have expected her to get together with - dumpy odd awkward seeming guy whereas she is total glam and always went out with "alpha" (bastard) males - but he turns out to be a total gem and can even cope with her batshit family. True love!

brightlightceiling · 05/08/2017 10:26

Not exactly. I bumped into DH when I was 34 and we threw out the anti conception after three months to ttc. Turns out I need fertility treatment but otherwise we probably would have had a child quickly.

thepatchworkcat · 05/08/2017 10:27

Not me but I've got several friends who have met, married and had a baby within a couple of years in mid/late thirties! I think sometimes it can all move more quickly at that age because you're ready and keen for it to happen (not everyone is obvs, but if you find a suitable partner then it can happen!)

Helbelle75 · 05/08/2017 10:29

Met dh at 38, married at 40, dd at 41. I'm 42 now.
I felt like you, but I'm so pleased I waited for my Mr right. Things have progressed very quickly, but that's felt right too.

brightlightceiling · 05/08/2017 10:30

To answer your last question: I didn't meet DH online but I did a ton of online and speed dating in the years previous. Must have met over a 100 people but no click.

Dh did a total of 5 dates in the 8 years before we fell in love. Go figure.

honeysucklejasmine · 05/08/2017 10:32

Met online. Engaged after 6 months, married 7 months later, DD born on 3rd anniversary of our first date.

blacksax · 05/08/2017 10:33

Met aged 35, married 7 months later, baby arrived before our 1st anniversary, so it can happen Smile

wormwagon · 05/08/2017 10:40

Not me but I'm 37 and it's happened to 7+ friends of mine meeting and having a family within 18 months - it just happens with the biological clock ticking and women racing to settle down with someone quickly.

user1499590110 · 05/08/2017 10:41

thank you so much for these stories! it has brightened my day :)

OP posts:
BitofaPoorEffort · 05/08/2017 10:45

I thought it wasn'the going to happen for me...then I met OH 20 months ago. We have bought a lovely home together and I am now full-time stepmum to the most amazing little boy. We have our problems like everyone but I am so, so grateful for what I have now.

I was 'picky' (how can you not be choosy about the person you share your bed, home, family, life with?!) and I'm so glad I was.

(I also think that it can happen faster in your thirties...you know what you want, you know what to avoid from past mistakes...for some it can be very different to the insecure, uncertain early relationships of the twenties).

BitofaPoorEffort · 05/08/2017 10:46

(Sorry for typos and not being at my most articulate l feel very sick this morning!!)

Member652554 · 05/08/2017 10:48

What a lovely/ refreshing thread Op :) thanks to everyone who shared their happy stories.

Dreams16 · 05/08/2017 10:52

Yes met my DH online and had gone out on dates with many other men from online and when I went to met up with my DH after a week of chatting I almost stood him up I had reached a point where I was fed up with the amount of weirdos or men that didn't match up to their photos or just seemed a total bore that I'd encountered that I just thought I really can't be bothered to go on this date
I did go was slightly late so he was left thinking I had stood him up but I just remember when I seen him my face lit up he really was my type and funny to boot so I'm so glad I never stood him up
He knows this I've told him and he too said he'd had some horrendous dates and had placed himself by two exits and had the bar mirror to be able to spot me first so I guess men too can suffer some bad dates themselves

My friends were the ones who set me up online I was so against it for ages specially in my twenties I kept thinking I'd met someone in local pub.

Gowgirl · 05/08/2017 10:53

Old friend visited when i was 32 never went home married a year later with a 3 mo son...

Alexandrite · 05/08/2017 11:27

We married a year after our first date and still together after 17 years.