No idea what to do. He is blaming me and I am starting to doubt myself and worry that I have done something wrong. It only happened this morning and he's out now but was angry at suggestion of Doctor.
My husband hates his job, it is shit. The hours are terrible, mostly evenings and weekends, so no time as a family, the pay is low and it's generally crap. Has been looking for a new job for quite some time with no joy. Was just looking at minimum wage office jobs simply so he'd be home more but hearing nothing. His brother works for a large company and a role come up. They offered him an interview. The hours are perfect and a bit flexible, pay is a step up, they encourage working from home one day a week and get a yearly bonus. Once you are In there are many way to progress. Sounds perfect and he said he was interested.
Started to get cold feet... I put it down to lack of confidence. Trying for ages to build him up, tell him his brother wouldn't have recommended him if he wasn't capable, it's exactly what he's wanted. He really convinced himself job would be too difficult for him and was closin down every time I brought it up or talked about preparing for interview. His excuses seemed to be silly, claiming that it was too far to commute (40 minutes) so if I was ever rushed to hospital it would take him longer to get there. He doesn't want to go on the train because there are sometimes delays. The money isn't even THAT much more once tax and then tax credits are all sorted, which is true, but still a step in the right direction with us getting off tax credits. But we can't do anything as a family, no plans can be made because his job doesn't follow a regular rota so none of us have hobbies, I'm alone with the kids most evenings and every weekend. It is shit.
Seemed to turn a corner over the weekend when we went through some documents they sent through with confirmation of his interview time. He had been refusing to read them. We went through them together and he said you're right, I could do that. He has a habit of buryibg his head in the sand and refusing to deal with things. Spoke to his brother about some interview prep, was coming up with good suggestions etc, seemed positive. Then back down again. His lack of confidence is astounding. It seemed that he was intentionally sabotaging the best offer he's ever had out of fear of the Unknown. I did something similar a while back and regretted it and so kept encouraging and pushing him, thinking if I could just get him through this interview then he migh finally start to see some improvement and be happier. I thought he would regret it if he didn't go for it. And it is only an interview and he already has a job, he has literally nothing to lose.
This morning he refused to get up. I was pleading with him by this point because his brother would look like an absolute idiot if he just wasted their time. His brother is also being considered for a promotion and gem being unable to trust his judgement would make him look bad. He told me he might as well just throw himself in front of the train and if he did get the job it would be so bad for his mental health he would end up killing himself.