My husband hit me tonight

[IceWithASlice1]

I don't know what to do, my heart doesn't have the energy any longer, it is just broken. I have tried so hard.
I'm ok. I know I need to leave. I just don't know how.

Hope your ok OP

OP - get the hell out, you CAN do it - take advice, accept any help, get support and don't look back. He's a controlling freak - don't give a sh*t if he has MH problems - disgusting man, your life will seem very difficult and different for a while but eventually you will be a free woman - a HAPPY person! I spent 20 plus years under the vicious cycle of control with my exP - filthy language, accusations, name calling, twisting every word I said, kept me from family/friends, ruined every single bit of happiness that the kids and could have had, hit me so many times and STILL convinced me not to press charges - 'I'm depressed, he bleated 'I feel low, I can't trust anyone, nobody understands me' etc blah blah EFF THE EFF OFF!! Don't waste any more of your precious time - stay strong HE WILL NEVER CHANGE - DO NOT LISTEN TO ANY APOLOGIES ...NC NC NC

Hi everyone,
I am ok, I have been out all day and just got home. I am putting DC to bed then I will write a proper update.
Thank you all

Hope you are ok and safe Ice

DH predictably started with the apologies, though not until the afternoon. Bastard. He didn't even remember some of the shit that came out of his mouth because he was so drunk. He honestly thinks things are ok.
He is in the spare room and I am in bed with DC.

I have booked an appointment with a local team who can advise me of any help I can get in sorting my life out etc.
The police did say they were referring me to the Domestic Violence Support Team though I am yet to hear from them. I really don't know what that entails.

The closest family I have are a couple of hours away so not all abroad luckily. I know I will be welcome there but in the long term it won't work. My job is in the city I would struggle to find a job where they are. I know it will be hard but I'd like to stay relatively close to where I am. I have lived here for over 10 years and built a life, friends etc. I need to keep hold of something "normal" at least.

Having said that I have maternity leave until January so plenty of time I guess. Though my maternity pay will be stopping soon so I will be broke.

@carriebradshaw85 That made me laugh

overtherainbow you have described it perfectly. He has taken every piece of happiness from me.

Thank you all for sharing your stories. I would love to respond to you all personally but I am so exhausted. I'm so glad so many of you got through it. It takes a lot of strength.
You have all given me that boost to keep going today, so thank you all x

On another note, the doctor gave me some anxiety meds last week and they are still sat here.
I have such anxiety since DC came along. Mainly a fear of not being there to protect DC.
It's manageable. I'm functioning ok, nothing dark..just worry. I don't know if it is a good time to start taking them though. I know the first few weeks you start them can be bad and I need to be on top of things mentally these next few weeks.

Which medication is it?

X

Take your baby to your family abroad.

I would say that him bring calm and acting like nothing has happened is actually good for you in a way as you can make your plans under his radar. Then BOOM.....you leave

The acting like nothing happened is classic abuser behaviour - cycle of abuse.
It's him minimising.

After my ex strangled me he tried to get back into bed with me and asked if we were friends again yet!

Really well done for calling the police so quickly.

A lot of people don't

debbs77
I think that is the most stress and pain free approach. And in the meantime don't engage. Indifference to his behaviour and expect nothing.
mooey
That's awful. Your baby was so young too. At a time we need support the most.

The tablets are Citalopram 10mg. I don't think I will take them. I actually slept so well last night. Knowing this will not be my life anymore is like a huge weight.
I know there is a lot of shit to come but the end is in sight.

Keep going with that attitude op, how dare he treat you and your dd like that! Get hold of angry and keep that mindset! He will be creeping back to you with his pathetic excuses. Don't listen!

Hope you're ok and have worked on getting out of there.
Be safe. X

Please don't let him change your mind I left my abusive first DP when my child was born as he nipped my arm so hard in the hospital when I told him I wasn't planning on coming back I wanted to go to my mums for some respite. Something inside me thought shit this is supposed to be the happiest day ever and he's just hurt me again . Fast forward 15 years and I actually have an ok relationship with him he's still battling his demons but he loves his son. On the other hand I have lived a very happy life with my new kind and caring DP and two more beautiful kids. Keep strong.

Are you ok OP? I didn't post when I read your thread the first time as was on public transport but kept thinking about you.
I hope you're well on your way to a new life by now?

I am ok. Still here, although between DH being at work and me going to visit family we haven't crossed paths much.

40 You sound like me. I will look back on my time in the hospital with DC with nothing but bad memories. I do hope he can get the help he needs and be the Dad I believe he can be. The person I met.

He had a psychiatrist assessment on Thursday, which we have been waiting for for ages. They told him he needs some serious help with his MH and also told him he does have a drink problem. Something I have tried to tell him for months. He has another appointment booked.

I'm finding it hard as I do want to help him and I don't want him to do something silly, but I just can't live this life any more. I can't look at him without feeling sad and angry.
I have told him I will support him but that doesn't mean we will be staying together.
It's harder than I thought to not get sucked in again though.

Thank you for all your messages. Means a lot that you all took time to write to me.

You are not responsible for whether or not he is ok. Years after I had left my DP he said that he admired me, that I did the right thing for our DS and his life had been happier with us apart as he had never had to see his dad hurt his mum. Don't get sucked back in if you want to help do it from the safety of your mums/dad's with a clear message that you want your child's father to be ok but that's it. Wishing you the best of luck.

You'll be in a much better position to help from a place of strength and safety. I think it was so sensible of you to tell him that.
Build a safe home for yourself and DCs and he can focus on getting well without the added strains of family life.
Once his MH issues have stabilised you can take a view on what's best for you all.
You sound like such a kind, patient person. Don't get sucked back in to the drama, for all your sakes.

If you phoned the police and they know a. Hold is there they would have escorted him out.

Sorry child. Did you phone 999?