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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

Backhand

66 replies

ILikeyourHairyHands · 31/07/2017 01:48

I just got a back-hand across the face that made my nose bleed.

I haven't NC'd, I'm too shocked.

We've been together 14 years, nothing like this has ever happened before.

I don't know what to do, I think he may be having a breakdown, he seems to not be the man I 'know.

I'm utterly distraught.

OP posts:
user1499333856 · 31/07/2017 02:18

Can you bolt the door and secure the house? You have to do this because there are also children inside?

Original poster
ILikeyourHairyHands · 31/07/2017 02:23

I can and have

OP posts:
LadyB49 · 31/07/2017 02:23

What steps have you taken. Are you not going to ring The police. What if he is being psychotic/troubled and meets someone while he is in this state. He needs protecting from himself and assessed.

OMGBecky · 31/07/2017 02:24

For your safely and that of your children, please bolt the door and call the police. If he is having a psychotic episode (which if this is out of character for him it might be) then he needs help and clearly you need protection! That must have been very frightening.

Original poster
ILikeyourHairyHands · 31/07/2017 02:25

I've called the police.

OP posts:
Original poster
ILikeyourHairyHands · 31/07/2017 02:26

I'm very fucking worried about him.

OP posts:
LadyB49 · 31/07/2017 02:29

Sigh of relief .... you've phoned the police.
Are they on their way to you. And they will have a lookout for him. Have you any idea where he might be.

Original poster
ILikeyourHairyHands · 31/07/2017 02:29

NO, not a clue.

OP posts:
Original poster
ILikeyourHairyHands · 31/07/2017 02:30

They are on their way.

OP posts:
MiaFarrowsWheelbarrow · 31/07/2017 02:30

The police will find him and get him the medical help he needs. What about you? Have you made yourself a hot sweet drink? Are your children okay?

duracellred · 31/07/2017 02:31

OP - he has assaulted you. Your nose maybe broken.

As others said, you need protection and especially your DC. Do not protect him - but yourselves.

Go to the police.

CoffeeAndEnnui · 31/07/2017 02:35

My DP has had episodes like this in recent years and it never stops being terrifying. You have done everything right so far by securing the house and calling the police.

Keep trying to get through to friends/family because real world support is going to be essential. Take photos of your face ASAP so you can clean off the blood and sit down with a cup of tea.

You need to be okay, first and foremost, to be in a fit state to take the steps you will need to take to ensure that he is okay. There is help and support out there. For you both. Sending love and luckFlowers

Original poster
ILikeyourHairyHands · 31/07/2017 02:36

I have a cup of tea.

It's not broken, it's a big fucker, it has a HUGE bridge, it just took a whack.

I'm worried about him.

This is completely out of character.

OP posts:
Original poster
ILikeyourHairyHands · 31/07/2017 02:39

There's a lot of blood on my blanket and chest though.

He told me he did it because I kicked him in the head, he kept saying I hated him before he fucked off.

I don't and I didn't.

OP posts:
Original poster
ILikeyourHairyHands · 31/07/2017 02:41

Police here.

OP posts:
LadyB49 · 31/07/2017 02:41

It's because it's out of character that it is so alarming and urgent. Although you are worried about him, he needs help first, then take it from there. Did dc see or hear any of this. If they're asleep they may stay asleep while police attend. Get a cup of tea and a piece of toast so you've something in your stomach.

MiaFarrowsWheelbarrow · 31/07/2017 02:43

Are you still trying to phone family? Can someone sit with you whilst you wait for news? Keep yourself warm in case you start shivering with the shock.

Original poster
ILikeyourHairyHands · 31/07/2017 03:03

Had a chat, they were concerned, seemed to take it seriously.

I guess I just have to wait now.

OP posts:
Original poster
ILikeyourHairyHands · 31/07/2017 03:05

In the interest of full disclosure, our DD has Autism, and he's a contactor that has just fallen outside IR35 and life is stressful as fuck atm.

and he's just turned up.

OP posts:
MiaFarrowsWheelbarrow · 31/07/2017 03:10

I have to go now OP. Good luck for the next few hours, keep safe ((un-Mumsnetty hug)) and look after yourself.

BifsWif · 31/07/2017 03:12

You've done the right thing Op. The police will be able to help him if necessary, and you are absolutely right to protect yourself and your children x

BifsWif · 31/07/2017 03:13

Just seen that he's turned up, please don't let him in. I hope the police reach you soon.

BifsWif · 31/07/2017 03:13

Sorry posted too soon, you could call them back and say he's turned up at your house.

Partybrain · 31/07/2017 03:17

Really sounds like a drug reaction or psychotic break. He's lost a grip on reality currently

Is he taking any medication that alcohol could have interacted with?

Keep yourself safe and ask medical professionals to remove him if they attend. It's hard and unpleasant but in this case he IS currently a risk to himself and others

Partybrain · 31/07/2017 03:18

Call the police back and ask for an ambulance too (for him)