Been seeing a guy for about 7 months now. We both agreed at the beginning that there was no rush and that the moving in, meeting parents stuff etc wouldn't happen for a very long time.
Things have been going well, we are both shy emotionally wise and neither of us great at showing our feelings I don't think, but we've been doing ok. I really like him, love him in fact, and can see him in my future. I do actually find him annoying, a bit arrogant etc however I can see through his flaws and like him in spite of that. He's very set in his ways and can come across a bit abrupt, but I don't think he means to be. He works a lot which makes it hard to see each other but I usually stay at his once or twice a week. As he works so much it's hard to do things as he's always so tired. If I suggest things to do he doesn't want to as he's tired so we just end up watching a film. It bothers and upsets me however I like him too much for it to be a breaking point.
I was always adamant that I never wanted kids, marriage etc but since he came along I do (although as above, not for a while).
We went to a wedding on Friday and I was looking forward to it, our first official 'thing' together. It was going ok, although neither of us really knew any other people and he was a bit anxious about that so he was a little moody from the start. I, very stupidly, got drunk too early on. He was embarrassed by this and as I was going around talking to people, clearly drunk, I could hear him in the background almost mocking me when people asked if I was ok and laughing. When we were at dinner I also heard him talk about how he'd been out a few times with younger friends at work and he'd actually had a really nice time. I just thought, if he can go out late and have fun with them then why not me? So I just went outside and sobbed, I was so upset (I have form for crying loads when drunk). He didn't really care, total strangers appeared to care more than he did. Clearly embarrassed, we went home at about 6-7pm ish I think? Again I sobbed in the car as it just upset me that he didn't want to have fun with me.
Saturday morning was awkward and I really don't know if we are even still together! He asked if I was ok, I said yes, took some paracetamol and ten left. We hugged at the door but it was a more longer hug than we'd usually have. He said text me when you're home and that was that. We texted briefly yesterday, I text him this morning to say have a nice day and that was that. The thing is, there's soooooo much I can't remember from Friday so I'm worriedly that I may have broken up with him, said something I didn't mean, was rude etc but I'm too scared about the answer.
I'm not really sure what I'm asking here. I appreciate I shouldn't have got drunk and he's embarrassed, I have apologised, but I'm not really sure where to go from here? I want to be with him and now I'm scared I've completely blown it. Any advice please?
Sorry so long!