Ex said no one will go out with me because DD

[Caughtinthemiddleofyou]

... has a disability.

His probably right as hard as that sounds. I'm 23 years old with a 6 year old Autistic DD. She's very quirky, smart and very interesting But has loads of anxiety related to her Autism.

My ex thinks hardly any man would want to date a young, single mother who so happens to have a child with a disability. What's your thoughts on this ? I Definitely don't want to spend the rest of my life alone and wish to extend my family. But if that's the case... at least I can solely just focus on DD's needs.

The right man will want to be a part of yours and your dd's life and will be understanding of her needs and take the time and steps necessary

And whilst some men maybe put off by it - another will see what an amazing woman you are and what an incredible little girl you have

Really Miracle ? I just find that hard to believe.

I have a severely disabled child. When I left my exh he said the same thing however it wasn't true I had a great relationship after and exh hated it. It's all about him trying to destroy your confidence and keeping you downtrodden.
Go and find your amazing relationship and take no notice of your ex he is being a knob!

Your ex is saying that just to try make you feel like shite. My ex used to say similar

5 years on I'm in a relationship and I've had another child.

Just ignore his bullshit. He doesn't want you to realise you can do so much better than him. You really can though

He's just being a vindictive dick head which is presumably why he's your ex.

I know someone who got married to a parent who has a severely autistic child so it happens perfectly fine outside your exs miserable mind.

Do you think I should find a relationship ? I was content in not being in a relationship and just focusing on DD's needs. But when she's older she will have her own life... which she is showing snippets of now.

Has your ex carried out an extensive survey asking all men everywhere what their view is? No?

Then he's a lying twat who thinks all men are like him. That just shows what an arsehole he is.

Some men will be put off by it, that's true. But you probably wouldn't want to get involved with that type of bloke.

A decent man will be interested in you regardless of whether you have children, and whether they have autism related anxiety or not. As long as the child isn't the sole focus of your life and you have time for the man too.

Also, there are men out there with kids, some of whom may have similar needs. They would actually prefer to get involved with someone who understands the restrictions they live with..

Your ex is a dick.

Exes say shite in an attempt to make you feel insecure.

They're nasty cunts. Ignore.

So he wants you to go back to him does he?

I don't see that he's qualified to speak for every man.... So no... He's not correct.

It will be a challenge and will require an understanding man... But there are sensitive understanding men, who also have experience of children with disabilities.

My friend's ex told her the same when he left - she didn't have a DC with a disability but she had three DC age 5 and under and he said no other man would take them on. He was wrong, and my friend soon found a lovely new partner who loves her children as if they were his own.

Don't go and find a relationship just to prove your ex wrong. Take your time and wait for the right person. Just know it can happen and your ex is wrong. Someone will come along who will love you and support you and your daughter and help with your needs. Just don't let your ex get inside your head with his stupid words he doesn't know what he is talking about.

Your ex is an idiot. I'm a single mum and I know plenty of lovely men that would be in awe of you and your strength and work empathetically with your child.

Everything he says is done to control or belittle you. All it says to me is how insecure he is and that he really doesn't like himself very much.

Head high, crack on x

My stepdad married my mum, despite her having not one but three children, ranging in age from 17-ish to 9-ish, middle one with aspergers and another complex health condition, and despite the youngest going through one hell of a set of teenage years complete with self-harming. And twenty-odd years later, they're still going strong.

Your ex is being a giant twunt. Guess that's why he's an ex!

My ex thinks hardly any woman would want to date a young, single father who so happens to have a child with a disability.

How does that sound now?

DD's dad hardly has any contact with DD.

Your stories are giving me hope. There was this one really good looking guy who I think took an interest in me and didn't seem faze I had a child with a disability. Though, he know a lot about Autism (studied it) and worked with adults who have ASD. However, he has a girlfriend :( so I had to forget about that one. But it was nice for someone to take an interest in me.

OP as a single mum I would be way more worried about dating someone with an interfering, nasty and abusive ex than I would be about then having a SEN kid.

I would say would some men be put off yes however you do both come as a package and to be honest someone who judges your child on a label is not someone you want in your life so actually a good filter.

AS for your EX...Really do not discuss this stuff with him..He is the last person you want relationship advice from.

Is your ex dad's father? If so then as someone put above - the same applies in reverse! And if he is, then why is he not more involved? If he's not...then he took you both on so he's obviously talking shit.

Dd's dad not your dads dad lol

Just because he's an arsehole doesn't mean all men are. Ignore him op.

You're only 23 - you have loads of time for blokes and more dc.

The ex wants you to be sorry you're not with him.

You're only 23 - you have loads of time for blokes and more dc.

The ex wants you to be sorry you're not with him.

DS is severely autistic and it was definitely harder to find a new relationship. Not just because of people's attitudes, but also because in practical terms it's harder to find time to meet and date. I was also very cautious in introducing men as I didn't want DS to get used to someone and then have the relationship end - so things had to move more slowly. DS has challenging behaviour (he is in a special school) and not everyone is willing to take time to understand his needs. But there are definitely good men out there. I met my current DH when DS was 8 and we moved in together 5 years later. Also from a financial point of view, DH is a high earner so we lost all eligibility to tax credits and child benefit, and income support, so DH fully supports us (and I still can't work as DS's disabilities are severe, though I get carers allowance). Not all men are willing to take on that financial responsibility for a child that isn't their own.

Don't introduce (or think of yourself) as a single mother with a disabled child- you're already labelling yourself. You are a person in your own right with qualities of your own, who is raising in your own words a quirky smart and interesting child.
Yes there are probably many people who don't want to date someone with kids, but there are also men who are up for it and many who fall in love with their partners' children as if they were their own.
Don't force yourself to find someone if you're happy with how things are but if you do get the urge then please don't put yourself down before you've started x