Ex said no one will go out with me because DD

[Caughtinthemiddleofyou]

... has a disability.

His probably right as hard as that sounds. I'm 23 years old with a 6 year old Autistic DD. She's very quirky, smart and very interesting But has loads of anxiety related to her Autism.

My ex thinks hardly any man would want to date a young, single mother who so happens to have a child with a disability. What's your thoughts on this ? I Definitely don't want to spend the rest of my life alone and wish to extend my family. But if that's the case... at least I can solely just focus on DD's needs.

Your ex is a cunt.
Your dd needs particular attention and probably stability in her life. So, think of your love-life as something you do on your nights off (make sure you get some), and don't disturb her home-life with it.
You're 23! Your dd is already 6. You're actually in a very good position to have a great life.

I wouldn't have got together with my OH if they had a disabled child. I want simplicity and an easy life.
The right man won't care, and that's the man you want in your life and DDs life. If you attractive, that helps too.

Thank you Hel, yes ex is DD's father. He is not involved, simply because he was very abusive towards me..seemed more infatuated towards me than DD ( which it's a common thing in abusive men) so when I finally broke off the relationship and realised after pleasing and begging he won't have me back. He lost interest in DD, met someone else and refuses to take responsibility. Though he calls for her once in a blue moon and says "Hi" to her if we see him in public.

He's a knob and he's wrong. Sounds like you're well shot of him!

Thank you Lor Lor I am labelling myself, which is not good.

My ex said no one would want me as I was damaged and had baggage as I had DS where as he was free to see whoever he pleased as it's different for men Quite a disgusting way to speak about him son. I did find someone who loved me for me including stretch marks and mummy tummy and I married him and have more dc. I know for a fact myex hated the fact I moved on his abuse didn't work on me and I proved that I could be happy with someone else you just got to believe in yourself.

Not impossible no, my friend found somebody willing to accept she had a history and a child with needs. She has a nice social job though so met people that way and didn't need a new partner to financially support her which makes a big difference.

She didn't want more children though and so needed to find a partner willing to accept that as she grew up with a sibling with extra needs and knows first hand how hard it is to treat them the same time wise etc.

In truth.. I'm scared to have a life without DD... I'm scared if I have a life on my own.. then I will be neglecting her needs.

You're ok to be scared. You're young and you have a lot of responsibility. Make your 'life of your own' your hobby, not your reason for living. Keep it light. You can do it.

Ex said something similar DC also has special needs ' No one will want to be with me id be a crappy single mother'

Ex was a disinterested parent and blamed our DC diagnosis on me but wanted to remain in a relationship, refused to accept I wanted to split.

I'm now married with more DC to another man who is a very involved step father.

Ex has not maintained any regular contact with his now teen DC....guess who's fault that is?? mine supposedly!! he still in denial of DCs further diagnoses

Its just bs spouted by shitty men
They are just revealing their true feelings tbh of who they wouldn't date

My ex husband (a nice man) now has a stepdaughter who has significant disabilities. She's about 9. I think that it's hard for him at times but he is in it with his wife for the long haul to his credit.

There are good men out there.

He's an arse hole.

I have a dd age 8 who is autistic.

2 years ago I met a lovely man, no experience with kids and to be honest quite wary of taking any on.

Now it's brilliant, he babysits my DD while I work, takes her our and dotes on her. They have a lovely relationship and he does it all from playing lego to buying her school shoes.

Your ex is just a dick. He's probably worried you'll meet someone awesome, and you should!

Give it time and don't worry!

Your ex is an arse. But presumably you know that already.

My ex told me same sort of shite. He was wrong. Been with my boyfriend for 9 months and introduced him to my 2 kids recently. Youngest who is 6 has asd eldest who is 10 has traits of it and both of them can be difficult in their own way. Boyfriend is not put off. We've moved at a snails pace and they get on really well with him and vice versa.

See evidence!!! Lots of posters met nice blokes :-)

Well now, my ex was very keen to tell me that no-one would want me as I was an ugly pig, with saggy bits from vaginal deliveries. Also our eldest dd who was was fifteen at e time has autism, PDA, ODD and generally very challenging. Also have 4 small ds. So couch dwelling stoned ex was ever so keen to point these things out.
A week after I told him to fuck off I got asked on a date. I wasn't looking for a relationship but a bit of fun. He was tall, beautiful,toned, educated, rich, fun and 7 years younger than me. Basically had the best summer ever, it was a self limiting relationship as he was only based in UK for six months. Was amazing for my ego and confidence.
I'm never short of offers for dates, couldn't be arsed most of the time cos loving being single x
Your ex is a liar and a twat

Just because your ex wasn't up to the job doesn't mean you and dd won't be perfect for someone!!
I met my dh 5 years ago when I had multiple dc and it certainly didn't put him off. He says he feels privileged that he was allowed to join our family. .
Your Mr Right will have the same view. .

Don't let his bullshit grind you down.

But also make sure you are being selective, and avoid any man who is TOO into the idea of you having a disabled daughter. A friend of mine in a similar situation got her share of predatory men trying to get close to her in order to insinuate themselves with her little girl, who they thought would be an easy target due to mental illness (not exactly the same as autism, but still -- she suspected the reason they were predatory toward her daughter was that they thought she wouldn't be believed).

So keep your eyes open and don't fall for fairytale narrative, since those are too often spun by manipulators with hidden agendas, but don't think your dating life will be a nothing forever./

Ex sounds like a prize prick, of course you'll have relationships. But you're young and have all the time in the world. Don't date for the sake of it, it's can be a minefield at the best of times. Make sure you're really ready and open before testing the water. It would be so awful if you met another abusive bastard.