How long should I wait for a reply?

[UsualSuspects21]

So last night I bit the bullet and asked the guy I like if he would go out on a date with me sometime.

A bit of background is that we have known each other a long time and have always had a lot of fun/chemistry. I have seen him out a few times recently and he has walked me home, told me he likes me and we ended up kissing.

He is quite shy and therefore I decided to make the first move and ask him out. I am new to the whole dating scene I'm not sure how long I should wait before his non reply is an obvious "no thanks". I have no idea of the dating/texting etiquette these days!

Fair play to you for asking OP, and I'm sorry you've not had the courtesy of a response. I always respond and say I think you're great, but I don't see you that way or something naff but true. Usually had a response thanking me for my honesty, as although it's cringe it takes the awful waiting and wondering out of it.

If it helps, it is very very difficult to respond and say no thank you. I'm not excusing him, at all, but you shouldn't feel silly. He will just have felt awkward saying no so took the cowardly option of saying nothing.

Please don't let it put you off asking someone again - I plucked up all my courage to ask a guy on a second date once and we have just got married. I would never have dared to ask someone on a first date, and I think you're awesome for doing so. Someone better is coming

He's a very silly man not to respond at all , considering you've known each other a while ... what happens if you bump into each other again ? He's made it ridiculously awkward ...

Head up high , be strong . You're worth so much more x x

In a moment of weakness I did message saying well I guess that's a no then......

And still nothing.

I don't know what will happen when I see him again but i think it will be awkward as I'm feeling rather embarrassed about the whole thing 😳. However we don't tend to run into each other often unless it's on a night out (I don't go out much) so the chances of me seeing him are slim.

OP t least you tried so you don't have the 'what if' thoughts. He was probably just leading to no strings DTD hence his rest to you. At least you've found out what he's like and have your dignity firmly in place.

Could have been much worse. I think you absolutely did the right thing. And no, it shouldn't be awkward. He text to say he likes you and you have chemistry. You've kissed. Then he ignores your message. He a prize twunt.

Usual I have been been following your post in hope of a happy ending which obviously hasn't happened and for that I'm sorry.

But please don't let this experience put you off. Following your heart and being brace are things you should be proud of. Not enough people take risks and end up miserable. At least you can say you tried.

As for him, well he's an idiot for not replying so you've probably had a lucky escape. That said men generally freak at the smallest things and I think that is what has happened here rather than it being about you. And when you see him again, hold your head up high, be polite and carry on with your night. He is the one who was rude and didn't reply, so he can be the one to feel awkward.

And as me and my friends say after our dating disasters ..... NEXT

Autocorrect gah ... his text to you ... not rest !!!

I must must read through before posting !!

Oh no!

All I can say is that you have nothing to be embarrassed about at all. He does the rude bugger. And that he is a fool to have passed you up as you sound lovely

Try not to feel upset about it. Im sure he likes you, its probably just that he night not be in a place where is looking to get attached to someone or there to be expectation etc. He might be thinking youre looking for something more than he can give. Just be careful you dont see him out next time and one thing leads to another and you could end up getting hurt!

Thanks everyone for your lovely comments. It does make me feel better about the whole thing. If/when I see him next I will be polite and say hello but I don't think I can give him
more than that as I don't think he deserves my time anyway!

Oh well, you did the right thing because now you can forget him.

He's pretty rude actually.

I will never understand this kind of behaviour, just so rude and disrespectful! Do people honestly think you are proposing marriage or something just by suggesting a date? What's wrong with just saying "sorry I don't really feel that would work" and being honest. We are big girls, we can take it ;)

Onwards and upwards OP!

Maybe he has freaked out a bit. You say he is shy and maybe has never even been on a date. Not an excuse not to answer. He perfectly knows how you should feel by now but if he doesn't get it then do you really need a man like that? More like a man child.

That is so sad OP. Like you said, you put yourself out there and he has been really rude. Any decent person would answer a text like that. I really feel for you and hope when you do next see him that you can feel all of us behind you giving you confidence. What a pig!

I echo pretty much what everyone else has said on here, he has been rude and thoughtless. A no would be nicer than just being blanked. There is a slim chance (no excuse but just saying) that maybe he is too shy and chose to hide for that reason, but you still deserve much better.

I'm sure you will find someone a lot nicer and who will have the courtesy to reply to texts! You are certainly not alone in having a guy give you positive signs only to back off when you show interest.

Thanks everyone

No I don't need a man like that! Definitely onwards and upwards!

Really hoped when I saw this pop up in the threads that it would be a happy update.

Usual please don't think using the word "date" or any other nonsense was the reason he didn't reply...he just sounds like a bit of a tool who doesn't know what he wants and the only person that reflects badly on is him! As you say, the least he could have done is let you down gently, especially as it does sound like he led you on a bit. Think of it as a lucky escape